Munchkin sleeping issues

[Eranil Morathim]

So this is a question geared more towards the other parents out there. The past few weeks my little Eranil has been fighting sleep unless one of us is in his room with him. The he wakes up and you could literally almost set your watch by this around one in the morning and proceeds to throw a fit again unless one of us is in there with him. He slept fine in his own bed while we were in the cabin but we were all in the same room. I'm just trying to get some ideas as to what might be the problem. I've heard just letting him be might be the way to go, but even if i wanted to i can't because we live in an apartment and he gets so loud sometimes he might bother our neighbors. Supposedly he sleeps fine at the grandparents but i'm not totally sure. Anyone have any thoughts?

[Sarena]

It's possible, that since you all slept in the same room while you were in the cabin, that he got used to having you in the same room with him.   Without knowing how old he is, I can give you some advice that I've used with my 3 yo and my older children when they were that young.  :)  And I hope that it helps.

My lil' man wanted to sleep with me, constantly, when he was younger.  At first, I didn't see a big deal with it because the hubby works nights, so he's not even there most nights.  Anyway, as he got a little old, it became a problem, as he started moving around a lot in his sleep and I would end up with feet in my back more often than not.  What I did was basically ween him off sleeping with him.  Try laying down with him for ten or fifteen minutes.  Then tell him, "It's time for me to go...(insert something like clean the kitchen or go to bed or something)...and for you to go night night."

Be firm but gentle, and when he gets back up, direct him back into bed, cover him back up, and leave the room.  It won't happen over night, and your neighbors may be bothered for a little bit, but if any of the have children or have friends with children, I'm sure they'll understand.  You could tell them, during the day, what's going on, and apologize in advance for any inconvenience.  But that's completely up to you.

Also, you could start the bedtime routine with bath time, tooth brushing, and something like a short, calm bedtime story, maybe a lullaby.  Something that tells him clearly that we're getting ready for bed now.  And it's really important for this to happen at the same time every night, same routine.  Even if you're away from home visiting relatives, keep his bedtime routine the same as you do at home, as much as possible.  Like I said, it won't happen over night, but it won't take forever either.  They tend to pick up routines rather quickly at that age. :)

Hope this helps!

~Sarena~

[Oniya]

Does the little one have a sleep buddy?  (This can be anything from a stuffed animal to a special blankie, to a character night-light.)  Try something like 'Mommy and Daddy have to go (do whatever), but [Sleep Buddy] will watch over you while we're gone.'  I also left a CD player going on auto-repeat for the little Oni (variety of quiet instrumental/Celtic/chanting CDs) so that if she woke up at oh-my-god-it's-early, she'd hear something familiar and soothing.  Nowadays, it doesn't go on auto-repeat, but we still play a CD for her to go to sleep with.

[Eranil Morathim]

We've actually tried all of that. Nothing seems to be working he's got his blankie, his stuffed animals, a cd player, we brush teeth, read a couple books, sing a couple songs, and say prayers and he still fights it. For a while we thought he was scared to have the side of his crib off so we put it back on, that worked for like 2 days then he was back at it. taking the side back off worked for a couple more days but now we're back where we started. We're out of ideas. This little man is super fussy. And for the record, he's 2, well 2 and a half but same idea. We're just out of ideas over here, thinking of taking him to the doctor or something, but i wouldn't even know what to ask them.

[Autumn Sativus]

When I had little ones to look after, I would read them a story. Maybe two if they were being good. Then the baby would go to sleep with mommy's milk (my girlfriend at the time) and I would rub the older one's back (she was 4) for about 10 minutes. I would make sure she rolled to face the wall and stayed quiet while I did so and it never took more than ten or fifteen minutes for her to be completely asleep. I don't know if that's 'too long' for you to spend in the room with him (and it's not a permanent solution), but it could help for now. I was always very firm though that if she started talking a lot of wiggling and moving (trying to keep herself awake) it would stop then, and she would have to go to sleep by herself like a big girl.

[Eranil Morathim]

Well there's reallly no such thing as "too long" for me to sit with him. but we don
t want to camp out there all night. but i guess he went down fine tonight. ( i was at work so mom took care of him.) So we'll see how it goes. Thanks for the ideas everyone, and any others you might have are always welcome.

[Vandren]

Routines help too.  Our little guy has some issues unless we follow the bath -> vitamins -> evening snack -> bed routine.  The time doesn't matter, but the routine helps.  On the other hand, he's 6 months old.

[Cecilia]

Keep in mind that children are always developing.  As one "new milestone" comes along or is being "worked on" old accomplishments sometimes seem to disappear.  These swings are natural, and sleep is an area that is often disrupted when your child is "working" on something new.  Perhaps he's developing new verbal skills, or there is something new physically. Changes in routine, place and other such will also take getting used to.  My kids both have had major sleep issues.  I still sit with my almost 9 YO for ten minutes after I've finished reading to him.  I am happy to say my 17 YO hasn't needed any such service for YEARS.  It is temporary, and if you can keep that in mind, it's easier to deal with.

[The Dark Raven]

Probably safe to say this won't help but...according to my parents I was a hellion to get down to bed at 2 years old.  By three years old, I would run myself to exhaustion and pass out on my own.  As an adult, I have issues getting to sleep without white noise and total darkness in a cool (not above 74 degrees F) room.  Annoying when the home I live in has the thermostat set at 78.... >.>

It may just be a "2" thing.  It could be a change from the one room sleeping arrangement thing (especially if that really really worked for the little one).  If it continues, I would ask advice of a physician (and possibly a sleep study, since those folks deal with kiddos with sleeping oddities all the time). 

[Josietta]

This may sound harsh but sometimes kids do like to manipulate. If he went down fine for your wife or for grandparents when you aren't there then it sounds a lot like he is manipulating you because you are giving him the attention he wants for not doing what you want. 

My sister let her daughter do the same thing and they didn't get her to sleep in her own room until she was almost 5 years old. They had to do a step by step route. From their bed into a toddler bed next to them, inching the toddler bed closer to the door over the weeks/months until they finally got her into a seperate room. They regretted giving in to her "crying/whining/fussiness" when she was younger because the older she got the harder it got to transition sleeping arrangements. 

Their daughter got so bad she'd throw up from crying so hard at not getting what she wanted. Again it was total manipulation because once they learned to ignore the attention tantrum she found out that her doing that wasn't helping her get what she wanted and my sister and her partner finally were a point in their life that they could have full control again and sleep together without children interrupting their intimate time.

You might have to be more firm with him. I know he's only 2 and half but sometimes you have to be firm on things like that. It won't hurt him to cry a little if it enforces that you are the boss and he can't control you like that. If that doesn't work you may want to discuss his sleeping patterns with the doctor. My daughter is extremely hyperactive and mildly autistic so her mind is always moving a hundred miles an hour. It affected her going to sleep and staying asleep so I talked with her doctor about it. He suggested we put her on a low dose of melatonin to help. It does help a lot for her, but the side affect of nightmares can be bad some nights. She gets more sleep in the long run, but we have to find other ways of soothing her when she wakes up from those 'bad dreams'.

Again... these are just from my experiences with a couple different children (my own included) and their sleeping situations/issues.  You might try what others have suggested and definitely talk to their doctor/pediatrician. Doctors will understand what you are saying. They've more than likely heard it a million times over and will hear it again after you.

Hope it helps and that things improve for you.

-Josi

[Eranil Morathim]

Thanks for the ideas everyone. Things are getting better. We're slowly easing our way further and further out of his room and sitting with him less and less. I'm starting to think he may have just been in need of a later bedtime. I've been trying a bit of everything you guys have said, kid of mixing and matching so to speak, but it's working great. Little E went down in about 15 minutes tonight. Probably would have been sooner but glow worm needed new batteries so we had to fix that issue and then he settled down just fine. Going to just have to see how it goes from here. like i told you guys the main reason i was concerned as far as the screaming went is because we live in an apartment and i didn't want him to bother the neighbors. But so far we've been doing alright so we'll see how it goes. Fingers Crossed.