Twins pain turned into hate (Gracie and silverroses2009)

[darkvamplips]

It had been two years since the death of their beloved sister. For some reason her twin brother was the closest to her and took her death rather hard. Now he did not do much just sat around in his room all day and hardly ate. Now she was sitting in the living room watching the television but there was nothing really on right now. It had been so long since she had a decent conversation with her brother and it hurt her to see him like this. The more she tried to help the more he pushed her away. Every single time she tried she was pushed away or the door slammed in her face.

[Gracie]

He didn't want to get close to her. He was afraid that once he got close to her he would lose her. Deep down he loved her so much, and after losing one sister it would hurt too much to lose another. So he pushed her away.
He was sitting on his bed, sitting against a pillow propped up against the wall. He had a book open on his lap and was kind of reading, but honestly he didn't feel like doing anything but sitting there. He hadn't eaten much that day, but he wasn't really hungry anyways.

[darkvamplips]

The television was on but she wasn't really paying attention to that. A few moments later she got up and started walking to his room. He needed to eat and she knew that he had not eaten much that day. A few knocks could be heard on his door when she got up there. Hopefully they wouldn't fight. She did not even know why they were fighting.

[Gracie]

He heard her knocking on the door, and looked up from his book with annoyance. "What do you want?!" he yelled at her.

[darkvamplips]

She winced when he yelled at her. "Come on you need to east something. Please." She whispered.

[Gracie]

"I'm not hungry," he said. He really needed to eat, but he just did not have an appetite.

[darkvamplips]

"If I bring you something will you please eat at least a bit?" She asked not daring to open the door.

[Gracie]

"Fine," he said. "Bring it to me and then go away."

[darkvamplips]

Again she winced at his attitude and walked downstairs to fix something to eat.

[Gracie]

He went back to reading. She could do what she wanted, he didn't care... or at least, he'd act like and try to convince himself he doesn't care. But deep down inside he cared a lot, and he wanted things to be different.

[darkvamplips]

A few moments later something smelled good as she started cooking. About 20 minutes later she came up with the food and placed it at the door. "It's out here." She said before going to her room.

[Gracie]

Without speaking he opened the door, took the plate and then closed the door. He sat down at his desk and started to eat. She is a good cook, he thought. But he didn't want to get too attached to her cooking.

[darkvamplips]

The only reason why she did not want to see him was because then they would not fight. At least he was eating or so she thought. When she went into her room she laid down and let the tears fall. She did not even know why he was acting this way and she wished she knew.

[Gracie]

He ate most of the food, but didn't finish it all. He left the plate on his desk, and went back to sitting on his bed and reading the book.

[darkvamplips]

Soon she had fallen asleep. Since she did most of the housework she was really tired.

[Gracie]

He soon found it was hard to keep his eyes open, so he tossed the book down and lay down to go to sleep.

[darkvamplips]

There used to be a nightmare that she woke up screaming to. She had it that night and the only person who could calm her down was her brother. She sat up in bed and screamed.

[Gracie]

He woke up to the sound of someone screaming. His sister! Forgetting that he was ignoring her, he ran out of his room and straight to hers, flinging open her door. He hurried to her bed, and took hold of her hand. "It's okay, sis. Calm down, everything is okay," he spoke softly and calmly to her.

[darkvamplips]

She jumped when someone came through the door she was expecting her brother. It was just a bad dream and she laid her head on her pillow breathing hard. Now she did not want him to leave. "Why did you come?" She whispered.

[Gracie]

"Because..." he trailed off, not sure what to say. "Because I care." He looked into her eyes. "Or maybe it was because I can't sleep with you yelling like that," he said jokingly, the same tone he used to use when they were best of friends, so long ago. And now the pain of everything disappeared for a moment, as he smiled at his sister, only caring to make sure that she was okay; forgetting that he was trying to ignore her and push her away. 

[darkvamplips]

His answer brought tears to her eyes as she remembered what it was like before all this happened. Would he leave again and leave her alone for the night? "Thank you." She whispered knowing the tears could not be seen in her eyes since it was dark in the room but he could probably feel them on his face. Gently she squeezed his hand and smiled.

[Gracie]

It was dark and he couldn't really see her, but he could sense the emotion in her voice. "Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked.

[darkvamplips]

Slowly she nodded knowing he could not see it but she did it anyway. "Please." She put her head against the pillow looking at him.

[Gracie]

"Okay," he said, staying next to her. As thoughts of how he had treated her came to his mind as he sat next to her, he couldn't help the tears that started to fall from his eyes. Why? He thought to himself. I've been such a terrible brother, and for what? He started to cry softly.

[darkvamplips]

She lifted up her head again when she heard his start to cry. "What's wrong?" She never saw him cry anymore. The only time she did see him cry was at his sister's funeral and that's it.

[Gracie]

He reached over and hugged her. "I love you, sis." He said, through his tears. "I'm so sorry!" He hadn't cried in so long, but now he was finally breaking down. The wall he had formed over the past year to avoid emotion now started to crumble, as he held the one he had been pushing away for so long close to him.

[darkvamplips]

This was such a sudden reaction from him she was caught off guard. What was going on? Slowly she sat up and hugged her brother back. "What's wrong?" She never saw him cry.

[Gracie]

"I know I haven't been nice to you," he told her. "I've been pushing you away and being mean whenever you are around. And I'm sorry. I'm going to be better."

[darkvamplips]

Slowly she pulled away from him. Would he better or just go back to being mean. "You still haven't told me why."

[Gracie]

"I heard you screaming," he replied, "and that woke me up. The first thing that came to mind was to make sure you were okay. I forgot that we weren't talking. I forgot that I was mad at you. All I knew at the moment was that my sister needed me. And that's what matters."

[darkvamplips]

"But you still haven't told me why you were mad at me." She had no answers to what she had done to him to have him act like this. It was so hard trying to care for him right now since all he did in the past was yell when she tried to help him.

[Gracie]

"Look," he said, still calmly. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed." He really didn't have an answer for her. He didn't even know why he was so mad at her. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned around to leave.

[darkvamplips]

She watched him leave remembering he would stay. Now they were back to square one. Sighing she leaned her head down not wanting to have another one of those dreams. That dream came true the one where darkness took over him and she couldn't find him.

[Gracie]

He went back to sleep. He did want to stay with her, but he was really tired. Maybe he would be able to talk to her in the morning.

[darkvamplips]

There was no dream again last night and she was glad of that. A few hours later she woke up not wanting to get out of bed. Now she was becoming depressed over this.

[Gracie]

He woke up, and after using the bathroom, went downstairs to get a glass of milk. He poured himself a glass and then sat down at the dinning table, sipping the milk.

[darkvamplips]

She did not want to get up but she was hungry. Slowly she got up and changed her clothes and then walked downstairs to get something to eat. Now he was in the kitchen and that was a big change.

[Gracie]

"Good morning, sis," he greeted her when she walked into the kitchen. "Did you sleep well after I left?" he asked, hoping she had.

[darkvamplips]

"Yeah no more nightmares. But you said you would stay." She went to the kitchen and got some bread and butter. This was a big change about him being out of his room. She never told him about what the nightmare was.

[Gracie]

"I know, but I was too tired, and figured it would be best to talk to you now instead of then." He said. He wanted to know what it was that made her wake up screaming like that. He usually, if he came down for food at all, took the food and ran up to his room. But today he wanted to talk. He was feeling different. Something about last night changed his mind. Perhaps it was that he immediately ran to his sister's side, without even thinking that he was trying to avoid her. And that just shows, the familial bond is stronger than any wall one builds up.

"What was it?" he asked. "Why did you wake up screaming?"

[darkvamplips]

When she got her bread she sat down on one of chairs and nibbled on the end of it. Why does he want to know what she was feeling? This was never the case with him anymore but at least he wanted to talk. "When I was younger for some reason I had that dream and now it came true." She took a deep breath while she continued. "It was where I was watching you being surrounded by darkness and I couldn't help you. Now that dream has come true."

[Gracie]

"I don't understand," he said, staring blankly at her.

[darkvamplips]

"I don't know how to explain it. Like you disappeared into blackness." She said finishing up her bread.

[Gracie]

"How is that true?" he asked, still not understanding what was going on.

[darkvamplips]

"You are always in your room and being mean to me." She said not looking at him.

[Gracie]

"Oh..." He glanced at her, but saw she wasn't looking at him. "I'll be better, okay."

[darkvamplips]

"You still haven't told me why you were like this." The damage has been done it would take a long time to heal it.

[Gracie]

"I..." He saw no way out of it now. He wanted so badly to run up to his room just as before, but he had decided last night that he was going to try to fix this. "Ever since our sister died, I...I just, I don't know. It's just been hard on me, okay."

[darkvamplips]

"It's been hard one both of us." She wanted to hug him but something stopped her. He could go running out of the room and she would expect that. There was nothing stopping him. Slowly she looked up at him knowing he was letting out pain that was bottled up for a long time.

[Gracie]

He didn't say anything else. He looked down at his now-empty glass and sighed. That was the closest thing to breakfast he had had in weeks.

[darkvamplips]

"Do you want something to eat?" She asked noticing that he was looking at his glass. Also she knew that he had not been eating much.

[Gracie]

"Yeah, I'll make me some toast," he said as he got up and headed towards the toaster.

[darkvamplips]

She stared at the glass and then back up at him. "I could make that for you." She smiled.

[Gracie]

He looked back at her and slightly smiled. "I'm already up. I'll get it, but thanks."

[darkvamplips]

"Your welcome." She smiled and got a glass of milk.

[Gracie]

He got his toast, and then sat back down to eat it, not saying anything else.

[darkvamplips]

"You still haven't technically told me why." She whispered after a few moments.

[Gracie]

"I told you already," he said, starting to get irritated, but trying to stay calm.

[darkvamplips]

"You said it's been hard on you that's it." She said looking up at him hoping he would not get mad at her.

(that's what he said)

[Gracie]

"Yeah," he said, not wanting to say anything else.

[darkvamplips]

A sigh escaped her lips. Would she ever find out?

[Gracie]

He was finished eating, so he decided to head back to his room. He placed his dishes in the sink, and then started up the stairs.

[darkvamplips]

Now she would have to do the dishes. She looked at him as she thought he was staying downstairs.

[Gracie]

He walked back up to his room, and shut the door.

[darkvamplips]

She watched him leave. They were back to square one.

[Gracie]

Back in his room, he went back to reading the book he had been reading yesterday.

[darkvamplips]

Slowly she got up and started to do the dishes.

[Gracie]

He continued reading, not really caring that she had to do the dishes. After all she had been doing the dishes herself for months now.

[darkvamplips]

When she was done her dishes she went upstairs and glanced at the door across the hall from her room. Sighing she went into her room and laid down. Didn't he say he was going to be better?

[Gracie]

He decided that he would do the dishes after lunch or dinner if he ate either of them, but he wasn't going to promise her anything.

[darkvamplips]

She could see the doorway to his room as she laid down on the bed in her room. Sighing she pulled out a picture of the two before all this happened. When he was actually nice to her.

[Gracie]

He went back to reading his book, not caring what his sister was doing.

[darkvamplips]

A few tears spilled down her eyes as she put the picture under her pillow and laid down.

[Gracie]

He continued to read. Eventually he put the book down. The female character in the story reminded him too much of his sister. The sister who used to be his best friend. The sister who was desperately wanting things to change back to how they once were. He couldn't help it, a tear started to fall from his eye.

[darkvamplips]

She wrapped her arms around herself feeling cold because she fell asleep without a blanket around her. It was cold in the house and she was shivering.

[Gracie]

He started to feel cold too, and got up to go turn the heat up. After he had adjusted the thermostat, he paused in front of his sister's room, trying to decide what he should do, or if he should say anything to her.

[darkvamplips]

She seemed to turn toward him but did not know that he was in the doorway of her room.

[Gracie]

He slowly started to walk back towards his room.

[darkvamplips]

After he turned and left she woke up hearing him. "Hey" She whispered.

[Gracie]

"Yeah?" he turned around when he heard her.

[darkvamplips]

"I'm feeling lonely can you come sit with me?" She wanted him to open up to her.

[Gracie]

"Yes," he replied. He was feeling rather lonely himself, even if he didn't admit it.

[darkvamplips]

She moved over in her bed making room for her brother to come and sit.

[Gracie]

He sat down next to his sister.

[darkvamplips]

"I missed us hanging out." She whispered.

[Gracie]

"Sorry," he replied back softly.

[darkvamplips]

"I wish you would tell me what's wrong." She said watching him.

[Gracie]

"I'm just not happy," he replied.

[darkvamplips]

She put a hand upon his knee. "What about?"

[Gracie]

"I haven't been happy for a long time," he said.

[darkvamplips]

"You haven't told me why." She rubbed his back.

[Gracie]

"I don't know," he replied. Her hand on his back felt nice. He smiled at her.

[darkvamplips]

"This all happened when she died." She whispered.

[Gracie]

He nodded silently.

[darkvamplips]

She sighed. "Would she want you to be this way?"

[Gracie]

"...No, probably not."

[darkvamplips]

"So why stay like this?"

[Gracie]

"I'm trying," he said.

[darkvamplips]

"Do you want to go to counseling?"

[Gracie]

Counseling? he thinks, I don't need any damn counseling! But out loud, he says to her, "Yes, if it will help, sure I'll try it."

[darkvamplips]

"It might." She sits up and puts an arm on his knee wanting to hug him but didn't.

[Gracie]

He reached over and hugged her. "I'll do it then."

[darkvamplips]

She wrapped her arms around him. "Good."

[Gracie]

"Where do we go for that?" he asked.

[darkvamplips]

"There's a place just down the block." She smiled.

[Gracie]

"So we set up an appointment then?" he asked, not sure how it works.

[darkvamplips]

"Yes I will call them tomorrow ok?" She asked happyily.

[Gracie]

"Fine with me."

[darkvamplips]

"Good." She smiled.

[Gracie]

He smiled back. Things will get better, he thought hopefully. He just wanted to feel better. It is hard to be nice to others when you feel so depressed all the time. But his sister didn't understand that, so maybe a counselor would, and be able to help.

[darkvamplips]

"Do you want to start by telling me how you feel?" Maybe it was easier then telling a stranger. She leaned back against the couch and looked at him.

[Gracie]

He was trying not to get irritated with her, but when she asked that, something he had already told her, he felt annoyed. He frowned at her, and didn't say anything. As far as he was concerned, she should already know how he feels.

[darkvamplips]

"I mean when did this start? There has to be a reason why?" Was she going to get him mad and go back to square one again?

[Gracie]

He looked at her in frustration before getting up and walking out of the room. He had already told her when and why!

He went back to his room, and lay down on his bed. "Why does she have to be so difficult!?" he mumbled to himself.

[darkvamplips]

She just wanted to know why he was being like this and she knew that he knew why. When he got up and walked away she followed with her eyes only and sighed.

[Gracie]

Back in his room, he sighed as he lay on his bed. Why is talking to her so difficult? he wondered.

[darkvamplips]

Sighing she leaned her head against the couch as a tear slid down her cheek.

[Gracie]

He lay there quietly, eventually drifting off to sleep.

[darkvamplips]

Weren't they making progress? She closed her eyes.

[Gracie]

As he slept, he dreamed they were kids again and everything was perfectly fine as they played together.

[darkvamplips]

She soon fell asleep in the cold living room. A few hours later she woke up crying because of a dream.

[Gracie]

He woke up to the sound of crying. He figured she had another bad dream. He got up and went to her to tell her it was all okay.
He found her in the living room, crying. "Whats wrong?" he asked with concern.

[darkvamplips]

"Why do you care?" She was still kind of mad from before when he ran away because she was trying to help.

[Gracie]

"Because you're my sister," he replied, sounding sort of defeated. She was acting like him now, and he knew that his behavior got them nowhere, it would be worse if they both acted like that.

[darkvamplips]

"But what about before? You didn't seem to care that I was trying to help." She wrapped a blanket around her feeling quite cold.

[Gracie]

"I do care, its just that your questions were getting repetitive," he replied. "I thought we already discussed it."
"It's cold down here, you should go up to your room where it is warmer," he said as he went to adjust the thermostat to a warmer temperature.

[darkvamplips]

"I was just trying to be helpful and get to the point." She sighed watching him go over and turn up the heat. She got up and started walking over to the stairs knowing he wont come in her room.

[Gracie]

He walked behind her, not saying anything else.

[darkvamplips]

A sigh escaped her lips as she went into her room.

[Gracie]

He walked back to his room, and closed the door.

[darkvamplips]

She stopped in side her door and stared at the closed door.

[Gracie]

He went back to sleep. Maybe he could sleep through the rest of the night without her waking him up again, he thought hopefully.

[darkvamplips]

So he does not seem to care for me since he went back into his room. She thought to herself as she laid down.

[Gracie]

He slept the rest of the night, uneventfully. Maybe tomorrow they can fix the problem.

[darkvamplips]

Since she had woken up from her dream she slept in the next morning.

[Gracie]

In the morning, he woke up and headed straight for the shower.

[darkvamplips]

She stayed in the bed but heard when he got up.

[Gracie]

After showering he went back to his room, sitting back down on his bed.

[darkvamplips]

A few minutes later she woke up knowing she had to do chores.

[Gracie]

He turned on his xbox and started to play a game.

[darkvamplips]

"I need to do some shopping." She said taking her jacket.

[Gracie]

"Do you want me to come with?" he offered. He didn't mind going, after all it had been a few days since he left the house, some fresh air would be nice.

[darkvamplips]

"I thought you weren't talking to me." She said turning around to face him. Last night he had gone into his room after her having a nightmare.

[Gracie]

"When did I say I wasn't talking to you?" he asked. "In fact, I am trying to fix things."

[darkvamplips]

"Yeah and when I needed you to help me with my nightmare you walked away." The damage clearly showing in their friendship.

[Gracie]

"I didn't know you needed my help"

[darkvamplips]

"When I was younger what happend?" She asked.

[Gracie]

"What do you mean, what happened?"

[darkvamplips]

"When I had a nightmare I stayed up most of the night scared." She whispered.

[Gracie]

"Did you go back to sleep last night?" he asked with concern.

[darkvamplips]

"I had a bit more sleep yes." She sighed and took a bottle of water from the fridge.

[Gracie]

"That's good." he replied.

[darkvamplips]

"I guess." She sipped her water.

[Gracie]

He got some water as well, not saying anything else.

[darkvamplips]

"I'm sorry all I wanted to do was help." She meant about the other night asking over and over again. She walked out of the kitchen.

[Gracie]

"It's okay," was all he said.

[darkvamplips]

No it wasn't it just seemed to make things worse.

[Gracie]

He sighed. He was starting to feel like she was the reason they were not getting along.

[darkvamplips]

"Did you want to go to the store with me?" She came back with her purse.

[Gracie]

"Yes," he replied.

[darkvamplips]

She started heading toward the door. "Let's go."

[Gracie]

"Okay," he said as he followed behind her.

[darkvamplips]

"Is there anywhere you want to go?" She asked walking out of the door.

[Gracie]

"No," he replied. "We can just go wherever you'd like."

[darkvamplips]

"How about that chinese food place we used to go to?" She closed and locked the door behind her.

[Gracie]

He smiled. They hadn't gone out for Chinese in a long time. "Yes, I'd like that."

[darkvamplips]

"I think it's my turn to pay." She started heading down the street.

[Gracie]

He nodded and followed her.

[darkvamplips]

(can you please type some more?)

[Gracie]

He nodded and followed her. He walked slightly behind her, not really caring where they went. He hadn't been out for Chinese in a while, in fact he hadn't been out to eat in weeks. It did feel good to be outside.

[darkvamplips]

(thank you)

A few minutes later they were walking into the restaurant and she turned toward him. "What do you feel like eating?"

[Gracie]

"Orange chicken," he replied, pointing at the picture of the meal on the menu. It was one of his favorites.

[darkvamplips]

"Sounds good." Her mouth was watering as she looked down the menu trying to choose what she would like.

[Gracie]

He nodded. "Yes, it is very good," he said, his mouth watering as well.

[darkvamplips]

"Have you been out to dinner lately?" The waitress came by and took their drink order.

[Gracie]

He shook his head "No, I have not," he replied. "I would like a glass of water please," he told the waitress.

[darkvamplips]

She nodded and then ordered a diet pepsi. "We used to go out a lot before I left."

[Gracie]

He shrugged. "We can start going out to eat more often," he told her.

[darkvamplips]

"Yeah but I am not paying all the time." She smirked and half joked.

[Gracie]

"That's fine," he replied. "I can pay as well."

[darkvamplips]

"Next time." She smiled as the waitress came to take their order.

[Gracie]

He told the waitress what he wanted, and them smiled back at his sister.

[darkvamplips]

She ordered what she wanted and then turned back toward him. "You seem much quieter."