The Best of Blydad

[Blythe]

The one time he wrote a genuinely rude e-mail he felt so horrendously bad he deleted it and never sent it. (He can't abide hurting people's feelings, it really upsets him to) Like he gets very rawr but it's not in him to write mean e-mails. ^^;

One of these days I'll have to actually type up one of his nice pun e-mails and send it when he wants me to, though <_<

[Remiel]

The one time he wrote a genuinely rude e-mail he felt so horrendously bad he deleted it and never sent it. (He can't abide hurting people's feelings, it really upsets him to) Like he gets very rawr but it's not in him to write mean e-mails. ^^;

One of these days I'll have to actually type up one of his nice pun e-mails and send it when he wants me to, though <_<

There's an art form to genteel insultery.  Probably my favorite Southern colloquialism is "bless your heart."  It's a phrase that is wholly dependent on the context but is generally understood to mean anything from a friendly, if slightly patronizing, tease, to "you're a mouth-breathing moron"-- only not in so many words.

Example: "The mailman left my package out in the rain again, bless his heart."

[Nowherewoman]

LOL that's the parenthetical Blessing, right?  "Bless your heart (you little shit)".

[Beguile's Mistress]

A true Southern lady can consign you to Perdition without you even realizing you have been issued a ticked, bless your little heart! :-)

[Blythe]

Though Blydad is not currently due to return home until around the end of this month, this was a fabulous phone call bit this morning:

Blydad: I alienated my roommate, but it was worth it.
Blydad: He was a little raspy and said hi to me, and he is a rancher who raises horses, so I said, "You sound a little...horse." He didn't get the joke so I tried to neigh at him to let the wordplay sink in, and now he insists I stay on my side of the room.
Blydad: I asked him if that meant there was a rule about 'no horsin' around' and now he keeps asking me when I'm going home.
Blydad: I told him not to be such a nag, haha, and then he asked an orderly to talk to me about the puns.
Blydad: ...which means that I won.

[King Serperior]

Blydad is the best dad.  *nodnod*  Nothing can beat the power of puns!  They are the bridge to lasting friendships.  :3

[Oniya]

This is a sure sign that he is on the way to recovery.  :)

[Nihylee]

I'm not even the tiniest bit ashamed to admit that I just read this entire thread from start to finish, and I loved every bit of it. Blydad is the best.

[Nowherewoman]

Blydad is totes baller!

[Blythe]

Blydad: I was thinking about the old cartoons I used to watch and there was this one with an animated car, and then I thought 'car-toon' and laughed myself sick.
Me: How often do you laugh at your own jokes?
Blydad: As often as you do.
Me: I came out to have a good time and I'm honestly feeling so attacked right now.
Blydad: SHOTS FIRED.


(I think someone taught Blydad memes while he was away because once upon a time if I'd replied with a meme he wouldn't reply BACK with something internet-y >_> )

Still, though, I had to laugh at this. He's right, I laugh at my own puns too much; I get it from him!  ;D

[Kye]

Yaaaasssss.  <3 <3 <3

[Amaris]

<3 GO BLYDAD!

[Blythe]

Me: Next hospital trip you have to wear loose pants.
Blydad: Why?
Me: You didn't even read the doctor instructions, did you?
Blydad: No, that's what you're for. Why?
Me: Says there will be discomfort after the procedure and that you'll expel air.
Blydad: ...
Blydad: But....But...But one of the nice people from my church is going to be there.
Blydad: Oh god. Oh god no.
Me: It'll be fine, they know what the procedure is--
Blydad: This is my worst nightmare. I'm going to toot in my ugly pants in front of people I respect and who I want to have respect me.
Me: *smiles* I'm sure they'll love you anyway.
Blydad: I CAN'T LOVE ME ANYWAY IF I TOOT IN MY UGLY PANTS, LET ALONE EXPECT THE LOVELIEST PEOPLE TO.
Me: You gotta calm down--
Blydad: ...is it too late to accept the sweet bliss of death?
Me: Are you telling me you'd rather die than toot in a hospital when someone you know is there?
Blydad: Yes. I've lived a good life.
Me: Well, it's too late, and you're going to the doctor.
Blydad: I'm going to blame you when I toot. I'm also going to blame you for picking my ugly pants.
Me: *grins* That's okay. That's what family is meant to be there for.

[marauder13]

Blydad is just wonderful. Also, you are a slightly evil son for the amount of pleasure you're getting from this.

[Oreo]

I still cannot stop chuckling. That was brilliant.

[Nowherewoman]

No fair blaming you for his ugly pants, though, Bly ;D

[Remiel]

Somewhere, a book needs to be written about Blydad's collected wisdom.

[Mister Morgue]

Somewhere, a book needs to be written about Blydad's collected wisdom.

Agreed! I would buy it!

[Beguile's Mistress]

Blydad would make a wonderful character in a book even if writing a entire book centered around him didn't happen.  When I plotting ideas I often add in a quirky and fun side character for depth. :-)

[Twisted Crow]

...
Me: You gotta calm down--
Blydad: ...is it too late to accept the sweet bliss of death?
Me: Are you telling me you'd rather die than toot in a hospital when someone you know is there?
Blydad: Yes. I've lived a good life.
...

Straight comedy gold, right here. Especially if the delivery is anything like I am imagining.  ;D

[Mirrah]

Blydad. <3

[ZephyrInk]

Ahh I stumbled upon this thread and love it. Aw Blydad is awesome! <3 ~

[Trilby]

Ahh I stumbled upon this thread and love it. Aw Blydad is awesome! <3 ~

We ought to put a link to this thread in Welcome PM's to the new members.  Bly's conversations with Blydad are the sweetest and the funniest things on the Internet.

[Blythe]

(Upon mentioning at church a bit back he likes ice cream. Note: I am not religious, but I sorta like the way my dad is. It's cute and honestly a little sweet)

Friend: <drops off 40 gallons of ice cream>
Friend: There you go, enjoy!
Friend: <leaves with absolutely no explanation other than 'you said you liked this stuff last week, (Blydad)!'>
Blydad: *stares*
Blydad: I have never needed more proof God is real in my life than literally this.
Blydad: It's okay if he's not real for other people. I just need him to be real enough to keep the ice cream blessings coming.
Me: ...is there orange sherbet in there, too?
Blydad: There is!
Me: You gonna share?
Blydad: ...I have never been more aware of the seven deadly sins and how mine is Gluttony more in my life, you have no idea.
Me: ...you gonna share?
Blydad: Please take the orange sherbet away from me before I manage to cause my stomach grievous bodily harm attempting to inhale it in one sitting.
Me: You going to church next Sunday then?
Blydad: Do you think if I go next Sunday and mention I like tacos that the new church lunch will be tacos?
Me: Hey, you never know if you don't try. But I think we both know you're going to be too full of ice cream for tacos.
Blydad: Oh man, that's true.

[FoxWriter]

that is the most adorable thing.