M player looking for 5e DM

[Roman100]

So, normally I'm the one running for people, I have run table top and message boards for 25 years (even admined on a few MU*s for you grandmas and grandpas here) and the fact of the matter is that I am burned out on running. I'm looking for a one on one low pressure campaign but I just can't find it in my soul to roll another random encounter.

Typically I play human males. If smut is involved, my characters are typically straight with maybe a few exceptions.

As far as themes go, I'm a huge fan of dark fantasy. If you told me you wanted to run a solo Curse of Strahd or wanted to test Warhammer FRPG campaigns converted to 5e then we'd be super best friends forever. I saw other people offering up similar ideas on their ads but most seemed to be freeform and the hardcore gamer in me, born of Red Box and "Elf -is- my class" refuses to let go of my d20.  I'd consider Pathfinder as well if someone preferred it but I'm trying to switch over to 5e in general and want to get some experience with it.

As far as things that are wrong with me, I'm not a huge grammar or spelling freak but I have three things that drive me absolutely bonkers:

1: Non dialogue characters. Characters that express themselves in narrative, as in: Bob tells you that you seem okay but we will never know what words Bob used because Bob's writer treats quotation marks like a vampire treats Olive Garden. I feel weird having my character speaking if everyone around him communicates entirely through narrative telepathy.

2: Fandom characters. I have characters that I'm inspired by, we all do, but Fandom characters that are just plunked down into another setting just make me tired and sad and buy cheap wine to forget. If you have a Ranma 1/2 game or an Evangelion game (I'm not old, -you're- old!) and you're playing a character from that setting, great. Just please no transplants.

3: 1st person. I just can't. This is honestly the one that grates on me the most but I put it last so it would stand out and not be forgotten.