5E: The Wizard's Harem (DM seeking FFs?)

[PhantomPistoleer]

*Kinda Explicit!  NSFW!
























THE WIZARD'S HAREM

PRINCE ARGUS
Human Wizard I
"Hello, potential harem member!" Argus said, looking directly at you through that mystical device called a computer, "My name's Argus and I want to be an adventurer.  I will be adventuring in the Sword Coast for the foreseeable future, and I'd like for you to come along with me!"

"Now I know what you're thinking," Argus said, asking you to follow.  "'Argus, why be an adventurer?  You're rich!  You've got a harem.  Why risk your life doing something so stupid?'  And you're right.  It's stupid.  But you know what else is stupid?  Having a harem.  But it is so. much. fun!"

Argus is kneeling now, his face flanked by two perfect apple-bottomed butts.  He kisses them both as if he would kiss the forehead of a babe.

"No one said harems were easy," he said.  "In fact, a lot of the times, they're really hard.  And no, that's not a euphemism.  Where was I going with this?  Hmm."  He slaps the butts, making them jiggle, and then stands.

"Oh, CHARACTER CREATION RULES!" Argus pulls out an abicus from his cloak.

Character Creation Rules:
--  1st level;
--  27-point buy, except Charisma is auto-18 (so keep it at 8 and then just draw a 1 in front of it)
--  Infinite gold (but not infinite magic items; Argus can acquire magical items, though, and he's happy to give members of his harem such magic items).

Genre Rules:
--  The game is kind of silly; Argus will break the 4th wall;
--  The game is also kind of lewd; Argus is really horny;
--  The game needs PCs to make decisions;  Argus is kind of stupid about adventuring.
--  The game works best when Argus pushes the characters towards doing things they don't want to do (in an adventuring sense, not in a sexual sense).

Characters Wanted:
--  Argus would like female characters in his harem who are devoted to him at least superficially.  Such characters should be okay with Argus putting them into weird sexual and actually dangerous situations.  It is okay for them to secretly hate Argus.  It is also not beyond Argus to use wish spells or mental commands to force particularly attractive characters to do his bidding.
--  Argus is something of a spoiled brat, but he doesn't mind it when members of his harem have sexual relations with other people.  He actually really likes it and one of his favorite pastimes is watching his girls go at it with strangers.  Tons of them!  Busloads of them.

The Princes of the Apocalypse
The game uses a set of modules.  I don't know very much about them.

[Sorvoe551]

Oh I’d definitely be down for this. I have a firecracker halfling rogue who’d be prime for being a dominate/wish receptacle. 

In all seriousness, I don’t know how much you’d want the women to antagonize him (hating is much different than actually acting on it), but at most it would be insults or yelling. I wouldn’t attempt to stab him in his sleep.

[Pumpkin Seeds]

This looks hysterical but I do not want to hog more Phantom games. Enjoy!

[PhantomPistoleer]

Oh I’d definitely be down for this. I have a firecracker halfling rogue who’d be prime for being a dominate/wish receptacle.

In all seriousness, I don’t know how much you’d want the women to antagonize him (hating is much different than actually acting on it), but at most it would be insults or yelling. I wouldn’t attempt to stab him in his sleep.

I don't know.  The situation is mutually antagonistic.

This looks hysterical but I do not want to hog more Phantom games. Enjoy!

LOL.  I only have ONE other game, PS.  :d

[Pumpkin Seeds]

Well still need to give others a chance at your awesomeness.

[HopeFox]

I'm always up for one of your games! I could definitely try a horny variation on my mystical barbarian girl - always good to play a warrior who doesn't need armour or clothes!

[PhantomPistoleer]

Well still need to give others a chance at your awesomeness.

Aww :) .  And aww :(  .

I'm always up for one of your games! I could definitely try a horny variation on my mystical barbarian girl - always good to play a warrior who doesn't need armour or clothes!

You had me at "horny."

[HopeFox]

Excellent! One spooky-but-horny barbarian lass coming right up! I'll hold off on a full sheet until we've got some more players lined up, but I'm looking at a variant human barbarian (Path of the Ancestral Guardian) with the Sage background. She knows things and she hits things, and she doesn't wear a shirt.

[PhantomPistoleer]

I think Argus would be like, "Oh, you're cute!  But... ::casts prestidigitation on her::"

[HopeFox]

I think Argus would be like, "Oh, you're cute!  But... ::casts prestidigitation on her::"

"What? Why? I already had my bath this year!"

So, what's the general backstory for how we came into Argus's harem? And how long have we been together as a group?

[PhantomPistoleer]

"What? Why? I already had my bath this year!"

So, what's the general backstory for how we came into Argus's harem? And how long have we been together as a group?

Oh, I don't know.  I haven't thought about it much.