Is Bisexuality A Legitimate Orientation?

[Callie Del Noire]

I'm reminded of a character from the Omaha the Cat Dancer who said she was bi and that meant that 'everyone thought she was a pervert'. I looked over the stuff sited here and there seems to be some serious gaps in the approach to the studies going over the whole orientation thing.

[Serephino]

I don't know what I am.  I know I'm mostly attracted to men, but can be attracted to a woman.  I too had a problem with them showing only M/M and F/F videos.  I love M/M for the most part (don't like big hairy men), and I occasionally enjoy M/F, but F/F is just gross to me.  How does it make me not bi-sexual if I don't find two women together appealing? 

[Florence]

If I recall that study had some serious methodological problems with it.  Personally, I think the question is kind of self-evident:  sexuality is based purely on feeling.  If people feel that they are bisexual, isn't that enough?  I just don't get the motivation behind judging other people's orientations in that way.

EDIT:  In addition, I have to wonder if the study was ideologically oriented, because why else would you be studying that?  I don't know, I'm completely baffled.  I'll do a bit of research on it.

Thank you! I never got this... who... cares? Let people say they're whatever sexual orientation they claim. If they're... lying... or trying to be cool... then... good for them, someday they'll realize that nobody cares. If they generally feel that way... who the hell are you to care?

The simple fact, though, is that sexuality is a fluid thing. Most people generally float around in one area or another, but I don't think it's nearly as cut and dry as people like to pretend. I am potentially attracted to anything. In fact, ftm transexuals are pretty much the only type of person I've never found attractive irl. (no offense to any ftm transexuals), but it's not that I don't find the idea of them to be attractive, it's merely that I've never seen one in practice that I've found attractive. I have found men, women and ftm transexuals, and the various little niches and subtypes involved there-in.

What if the erotic films featuring women were just really crappy? Or they didn't find the women attractive because they had massive fake boobs or something? Likewise, what if the "straight" guys didn't find the men attractive or the film had bad lighting or something? What if the "straight" men weren't aroused by the gay films because they featured muscly hunkerdoodles when they preferred more twink-type guys?

If you give me a video or a photo of a man and a woman, and I find the man more appealing than the woman, I'll probably be more turned on by the man. Does that make me straight?

But if I find the woman more appealing than the man, I'll be more turned on by the woman. Does that make me a lesbian?

Just because I'm attracted to both men and women doesn't mean I'm equally attracted to both 100% of the time! In fact, I tend to have periods where I like women more than men and vice versa. Does that somehow negate my sexuality?

edit: realized I sound kinda confrontational -- didn't mean to direct it at you, OP, just at the study.  :-)

I have to wonder about that as well. I honestly thing it's very possible that I would be barely turned on by either, even considering what I've said above. I simply find a lot of mainstream porn to be incredibly boring. The blatant fakeness of it just doesn't... do it, and I'm actually a bit picky when it comes to men, and if they showed porn of guys I'm not in to, it wouldn't show me as being too terribly attracted to men, would it? Ignoring the fact that when I find a guy I AM in to, I am REALLY in to them xD (my boyfriend being a testament to that x3)

[Host of Seraphim]

I simply find a lot of mainstream porn to be incredibly boring. The blatant fakeness of it just doesn't... do it

This, x1000! If someone were to try and identify my sexuality by how turned on I got by watching your standard porno flick, they'd think I was asexual.  ::)

[Endorphin]

I suppose it really depends on why you watch porn. Is it a device for getting in the mood, while you're at it, casually, solo, with a partner etc? Who do you associate with, are you interested in the visuals, do you watch the softer stuff for the (meager) storylines, ideas.

For the record, I think that bisexuality is a legitimate orientation. In fact, I'm quite jealous at times. So much more potential. I just haven't built up the courage or desire to cross that line just yet.

[TheDarkMiko]

I had someone tell me that bisexuality is the ultimate equality. You truly experience both worlds and are kind of in the "zen" of sexuality.

[Will]

I don't think it's helpful to refer to it as somehow "better" or "more enlightened."  It just is what it is, just like being gay or straight. :P

It surely has its perks, though. ::)

[Oniya]

"The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night."
  --  Woody Allen

[TheDarkMiko]

"The good thing about being bisexual is that it doubles your chance of a date on a Saturday night."
  --  Woody Allen

*chuckles* Indeed it does.

[kinetika]

I'm not sure what my sexuality is. At times I think I'm heterosexual, other times bisexual, and then sometimes asexual; I'm just... sexually confused. I feel that my bisexuality/attraction to men is whenever I'm single, and I probably would end up with a guy if he were incredibly sexy/hot to me. I also find myself lean more towards women, because for every ten women that I'm attracted to, there is only one man that arouses me. And on the porno topic: I could never watch gay porn... or even lesbian porn--I need M/F.

But on subject: I could see why the study considers bisexuality a myth, because people do end up choosing one gender or the other. I still wouldn't say that's an accurate observation, since a person that claims to be bisexual would choose a person based on who they got emotionally involved with first, rather than their gender alone. I guess bisexuality could also be considered a sexuality that comes in phases, like those above me stated: sometimes you're attracted to women more at one point, and men another.

What I do know, though, is if I were a woman, I'd love to be bisexual so I could have a boyfriend AND girlfriend. ;p

[ShadesofGrey]

People end up picking one or the other? I don't know if that's true. Unless the relationship you're in when you die determines your sexuality, I think it can go back and fourth for however long. Honestly, I think it's impossible to definitively classify most people with a sexuality. If you just look at people and judge them on the qualities you find attractive, not limiting yourself to the mindset of finding things appealing in men and others in women, then everyone can be more or less bisexual to an extent.

I do definitely agree with you all about the studies mentioned in the thread. Hooking a guy up to a few random pornos is just not an effective measure for something as infinitely complex as sexuality. Not everything can be concluded with science, and I think when it comes to something as relative and personal as sexuality, scientists just can't convince me that you have to either dig guys or gals if you have a knob . ^^;

[King_Furby]

I believe bisexuality is bull$h!t, it's for people who are still trying to find their orientation or are not mature enough to decide. While i'm ok with it if someone is in a discovery phase but at somepoint you need to decide. but sadly some never can.

[Nyarly]

I believe bisexuality is bull$h!t, it's for people who are still trying to find their orientation or are not mature enough to decide. While i'm ok with it if someone is in a discovery phase but at somepoint you need to decide. but sadly some never can.

I would say something about that, but anything that comes to my mind could be seen as insulting. So, I just let this post speak for itself.

[Kip]

I believe bisexuality is bull$h!t, it's for people who are still trying to find their orientation or are not mature enough to decide. While i'm ok with it if someone is in a discovery phase but at somepoint you need to decide. but sadly some never can.

While that's your opinion and you are more than entitled to it, sexuality is not as cut and dry as this suggests.  It certainly isn't an issue of maturity - as one matures, there is a discovery of sexuality and orientation however a particularly orientation is not a marker of maturity or what 'stage' one is in.

This is not a situation where there has to be a decision one way or the other.  It is not something that should be considered sad.  If it can be understood that a man or woman could be attracted to either a man or a woman, why are they necessarily limited to that particular gender attraction.  They're not.  There is a spectrum and just because we aren't of a particular orientation (or can't understand it) doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

All power to those who can find people attractive for who they are outside of the bounds of gender.

[Will]

I believe bisexuality is bull$h!t, it's for people who are still trying to find their orientation or are not mature enough to decide. While i'm ok with it if someone is in a discovery phase but at somepoint you need to decide. but sadly some never can.

Why?

[Jude]

I believe bisexuality is bull$h!t, it's for people who are still trying to find their orientation or are not mature enough to decide. While i'm ok with it if someone is in a discovery phase but at somepoint you need to decide. but sadly some never can.

I think that sort of comment comes from a cultural point of view with strong emphasis on monogamy; if you set that aside, a decision never needs to be made.

[kckolbe]

One thing that caught me as well was "Why only male bisexuals?"  One theory was proposed, that since women "don't orgasm" they don't matter, but I think it is because bisexuality (in women) and lesbianism are socially more acceptable, something that always peeved me.

[Oniya]

One thing that caught me as well was "Why only male bisexuals?"  One theory was proposed, that since women "don't orgasm" they don't matter, but I think it is because bisexuality and lesbianism are socially more acceptable, something that always peeved me.

I think it's because most of the 'researchers' doing these studies are personally turned on by female bisexuals - or at least they don't want to write off the possibility that the hot lesbian might be interested in them as well.

[Host of Seraphim]

I would say something about that, but anything that comes to my mind could be seen as insulting. So, I just let this post speak for itself.

Decided that's the best course of action as well... :|

[King_Furby]

I think that sort of comment comes from a cultural point of view with strong emphasis on monogamy; if you set that aside, a decision never needs to be made.

Everyones view comes from their own cultural environment, even yours. I shared my view i dont expect everyone or anyone to agree. but i expect the right to share what i think.

I agree that the study is flawed by not including women

[Trieste]

Everyones view comes from their own cultural environment, even yours. I shared my view i dont expect everyone or anyone to agree. but i expect the right to share what i think.

I agree that the study is flawed by not including women

This does not answer Will's question. I'm very interested in hearing the answer.

Why?

[King_Furby]

i dont know why he asked why honestly. i don't hate bisexual people, i simply don't agree wth it, i don't fully understand the mindset either. i know i'm more reserved then most of E but i'm trying.

[Trieste]

I believe it was meant as a short version of "What brought you to that conclusion?", i.e. "What is your reasoning?" which is what I'm interested in as well.

[King_Furby]

I believe it was meant as a short version of "What brought you to that conclusion?", i.e. "What is your reasoning?" which is what I'm interested in as well.

thanks for clearing that up for me. I guess it's kinda a lack of decision thing for me, do people really just go around their entire life not knowing what they want. I think at some point people need to settle down and make a firm decision. I just do not get why so many now-a-days don't make the choice. But maybe i'm the only person here who thinks that.

[kckolbe]

I will agree that bisexuality at least seems more common these days, but there is also less pushback for being bisexual.  In women it is considered sexy by most (~shakes head~).  A similar argument could be made for poly amorous relationships.  Are so many more people interested in having more than one lover because that is how they are, or is it connected to the notably shorter attention spans this generation has?  I don't know the answer, but admit it is a valid question.