Tails of Monkey - Hey Adventure is still waiting

[Catherine]

Back to the race.... There we were racing neck and really thick neck up the side of the mountain. Neither of us getting the better of each other. It was actually kind of fun since I didn’t have to hold my nose and sound funny when I talked or worry about gagging on the smell. Although Redbeard had to put up with the cute and adorable riding next to him, so a win on his part.

Both of us came around a large boulder in the path at the same time and it wasn’t hard to miss what was coming up or more like wasn’t coming up. The path was missing!!!

There was no time to pause and wait for a bridge to be made. You don’t wait for bridges in a middle of a race. Bridges were for not racers or for people that had done something to gravity like try to  defy it. Gravity doesn’t like that kind of stuff and holds grudges forever and a day.

In that moment if you were sitting there you would see the amazing, well sort of amazing. Two large objects shooting out into the no path area and somehow make it all while someone yelling “Yehaaaa.”

Hey I had to do that since they do it on tv whenever they do impossible jumps over rivers, really wide openings or in buses. How could a bus make a sixty foot jump going only thirty five miles per hour? I mean come on there is something called physics people.  Let’s do the physics. Bus that weighs a lot moving at a not that fast speed equals no way it can make a sixty foot jump without the use of ramps, cranes and rocket engines.

Here I can draw you a graph too. See this rectangle is the bus and it is moving at this slow speed. Now it hits the end of the bridge and crash BOOM! No hey we are flying and laughing at gravity. A clear and distinct BOOM!

But you see made it because no busses. *smile* oh and the story called for it. The dramatic jump across a really large gap to steal the reader’s breath away.

“Are they going to make it? Oh my monkey”mchew nails. Chew nails.

It would have been pretty anti-climatic if we fell and BOOM! Also not much of a race top. So jump, so good lighting and land. A small cloud of dirt later and we are off racing to the top and the smoke pouring out above.

[Catherine]

You know what they say, when you see smoke there is usually pillaging, dragon or something that is running around on fire. Okay they don’t actually say that but in would be cannon here to be honest, it is Norse land. Something like the mouse land, name not said so copyright cops don’t show up in black helicopters which wouldn’t be cannon here, just with more horns, missing teeth and headbutts. What would you think if you saw the mouse go up to a kid and cheerfully say, “Hey kids” then headbutt the kid?

“I love you Mr. Mo...” thunk of unconscious body hitting the ground.

“Do you think you can handle this,” I asked Weiner after leaning close to his ear to stay stream lined, “It is just like walking on hot coals but more slippery.”

OINK!

“Good because I don’t want you to burn your bacon.”

OINK!

“Yeah sorry wrong choice of words there. Apology accepted or will I be carrying you across the hot stuff?”

OINK.

“Thank you,” I answer giving Weiner a hug. Suddenly the ground started to rumble forcing me to hug Him harder. Rumbling earth isn’t good. I look up towards the top of the mountain and didn’t see anything good. Well smoke.... but the stuff flying out of the smoke like lava balls!

Not good..... what is the rule again for lava balls? I needed to know since one seemed like it took a liking to me.

Not good level whatever!!!!

Need to think. Need to think. Burning ball of lava + me = a lot of screaming and I don’t like that math.

Think. Think. Think.

[Catherine]

In my head, I could hear someone singing, "If I could turn back time..." and some other words but it didn't really matter since I have never heard this woman before. How she got in my head sent shivers down my back and not the good ones either. The ones that you start to question if there is some door somewhere that people can step though a door and be in my brain. Which sounds like it could be an interesting movie idea. I would do all of the legal stuff so somebody else couldn't snag the idea but I got a lava ball heading towards me and a hill next to me so not a good time to call a lawyer, get papers written up and then sign them.

My signature wouldn't be good and I am not sure if the person who would have to notarize it can ride. I doubt they could run and keep up too.  A lot of huffing and puffing. Possible tripping and falling followed by possible trampling. Which is never good to be honest, like extreme deep massage but more ow and I think that isn't suppose to pop out or move that way.

So where was I?  Oh yeah, balls of lava.

I hear another voice in my head "great balls of....."

Stop! What is this? Is my brain full of musicians ready to sing little snippets of their songs when I am thinking of something that is close? If there is, i need to be careful from now on and when did this start? Was it that one guy's doing? Lowball..... Sound to low..... Laura.... had to do with a door I think...... latch..... doorknob... keyhole.... I think that was close....turnkey.... Ah there it is low key.

If he put musicians in my head and they keep me up all night I swear I will turn wiener around and shoot him dirty looks while stomping  my foot so he knows I am not kidding.

It's a small, I start to think and I hear the song that will make green men cry start in my head. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My limbs start to lock up and my heart starts to race. I already start to feel my hands start to get clammy and I don't remember picking any clams up.


"Its a small small world..."

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I try to stop the singing in my head as I start to slip off of Wiener. I needed to do it or I would be lost. Like some ring in some movie and some creepy little thing keeps calling me precious.

"Why don't you like sitting on my finger precious."

"Look at your fingers, that should be a good enough answer."

"Precious is pretty and would be prettier on my finger."

"What is the thing with me being on your finger?"

"Precious is funny, would Precious like to hear a riddle?"

'Um okay well..... um..... sure."

"What is pretty and would look prettier on my finger?"

"Ugh, here is a ring. It is pretty and it has some weird writing on and I think I hear a voice in my head when I wear it telling me to do stuff. But I don't fall for peer pressure and it is just a ring so I tell it no. You take it and if tells you to drink milk from the frog, get a glass. "

"My precious...."

"Yes and if you lose it, it is your fault."

"My precious....."

See! I don't want that, I need to find something to keep me from falling and then getting hit by the lava ball too.

Think. Think. Think.

Boink! Think I got something....... Mwhahaha.

[Catherine]

I do the opposite of what you would think I... Well anyone would do when they hear the song repeating over and over in their head and not knock my head over and over against Wiener crying for it to stop.  Begging and saying something about giving of a right arm to make it stop but I like my right arm, quite attached to it in fact so big giving it up any time soon.

What I do is focus on the singing, the words, and voices that are at first cheerful but soon you hear the hidden meaning of them and that meaning is dark. I would tell you it here but it is so dark you wouldn't be able to see the words and you would run away laughing wildly with your hands in the air. It is sort of like the messages that are hidden on records that can be heard when you rotate them backward.

My grampy showed me one once, a record, big and plastic-looking. Like a plate but flat. Also If you put food on a record you get yelled at. Oh and don't use them as frisbees, just a little note for those who get to see a record and start to get an urge to pick it up and throw it.

Anyways my grampy let me listen to the record for a little while and then.... the. He put his finger on it and started to spin it backward. Between all the scratching I actually heard words, "Eat more Abner's pies. You can find them at any store."  My jaw dropped when I heard this dark message and I finally realized why I always had a yearning for pies after hearing Grampy play this song.

Anyway two, I imagined the singing and I took it to the next level and imagined the singers. Not human ones because no human would sing a song like what I was hearing being sung in my head.

"Its a small small world..."

My grip starts to loosen as the music starts to overtake me and I shake my head trying to focus, "No, you will not take me...."rowl and hiss..I focused harder and the singers came into view, their little round heads and painted faces with a perpetual smile and blank look on their faces, that sent you mixed messages. Should I be happy or should I just not care?

Those painted faces changed to one of shock when they heard the sound of a chainsaw starting up after a couple pulls followed by laughter.  "I will show you small!"

[scene censored because just because.]

I pushed over the last of the wooden nightmares with a foot. My arms were tired but it was worth it, my chainsaw was hungry that day and now it wasn't. If it could burp, my chainsaw would. I breathed hard as I looked around wildly trying to see if any of those wooden auto-tuned 'singers'.

"You will never make a grown man cry ever again," said tossing the chainsaw back, its blade sinking into the ground like some sword in a stone.

With a blink, I was back under control, and with my strength returned. I combed back on top of Weiner.

"That was a close one," told him and Wiener motioned tears the sky. I looked up to see the lava ball getting closer and closer.

"Oh come on...."