Coming Back To Life

Started by wolventears, November 18, 2013, 03:36:04 PM

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wolventears

May 19th of this year, I was at an intersection at a red light on my way to a home to get a cake to go to a birthday party. My foot fell off the gas and I came out into the intersection. I got t-boned by a big dodge deisal doing 70 mph. It crushed the front end of my Toyota Camry. The class of the drivers side window shattered, cutting open my face and splitting open my eyelid. My seat was pushed all the way to the passenger seat, through the center console and blood was everywhere. I hit the side pf the car hard and it managed to not roll, going through the street and down an embankment.

My four year old brother was with me at the time, buckled up in his car seat in the middle of the backseat. The backseat wasn't hit at all. The only thing that happened to him was bruising on his chest due to his seatbelt keeping him secure.

When the ambulance showed twenty minutes later, they took their sweet ass time getting to the car because no one could have survived that. People who had pulled over had heard my little brother screaming for me and broke the window to pull him out of the car, keeping him out of the way.

The emts had to jaws of life me out of the vehicle which room another 20 minutes. When they finally reached me, I had a heart beat and so they began to resuscitate me to help me breathe.

I went to UMC trauma ward after they got me free from the vehicle. My brother tried to tell them my name which is Alethia and he said as much but because it's such an odd name they thought he was saying it wrong. So I was marked as Grace Doe at the hospital.

Instead of calling my husband to let him know what had happened, they called my grandparents who then called my mother. She called my husband, asking if he was on the way to the hospital but he didn't know what had happened. So he rushed off to the hospital. They had to identify me because they didn't have my name.

At the hospital, my mom and husband stayed with me day and night. My husbands work gave him two seems off so he could stay with me. The after that was up, he went to work but came after to stay the afternoon. And night while my mom stayed during the day.

The urologist told my husband to pull the plug because my brain injury was so bad and brain injuries don't heal. They took ct scans of my head everyday to keep check on it and then my brain started healing itself which is supposedly impossible.

While it was trying to heal, I would have neuro storms where my body would tense up real bad. Due to the posturing, my muscles locked giving me drop foot. Which is where my feet were completely flat on the bed. You could see my knee, then the top of my foot and it didn't look like I had heels.
Because he doctors didn't see me surviving, I only received physical therapy once a week for about half an hour where they would come on and move my arms and legs. But not nearly enough.

Because of the dropfoot, they put special boots on my feet to return them back to normal but since the nurses had no direction on them they left them on for twelve hours. Do to my drop foot and posturing, the ball of my foot was pressing so hard into the boot that I received pressure ulcers because of it.

My mom took my little brother to the doctor afterwards and he was perfectly fine aside from the slight bruising. But he felt it was his fault because he couldn't help me. No four year old should feel that way.

After two months of my husband wishing horribly bad that I'd wake up, I finally did. His worst fear being that I wouldn't know who he was. At the time, I had a trach in my throat, helping me breathe so I couldn't speak.

They gave me a speaking plug and for a week I wouldn't speak to him. I spoke to the nurses and my mom so he thought I didn't know who he was. But then I started speaking to him and he was so happy.

I was able to remember people but the last year is  like gone from my memory. We moved and went on vacation and I don't remember it. Small things are coming back and what I do remember I remember being in the other house before the one were in now but that's just my brain putting things into memories to make them whole.

After actually waking up, I didn't really wake up until I was in the next hospital. Then I could remember what happened the day before and who had came for a visit. I was starting to get physical therapy which was tough and hurt but I was still bed bound.

After a month of that or like half two weeks of truly being awake, I was moved to a rehabilitation facility and hospital. I did physical therapy everyday, two hours a day.

Because of the posturing, my hands were in constant fists almost. Stuck that way because the muscles were so tight. But thanks to stretching, even though it hurt to all hell, my right hand went back to normal. My left, being the impact side was still fingers curled but not as bad as before.

I was able to move my legs which meant I wasn't paralyzed just couldn't walk because of the foot drop. And we did a lot of sitting leg excersizes to stretch and regain my muscles. They even had me stand between the parallel bars which I had to have one person pick me up to my feet while someone else pushed my butt forward because I had no balance and was slightly unable to pull my hips forward. I was also on my tip toes due to the foot drop which hurt immensely. And with the way my musclea had shrank and moved, my thigh muscle had moved under my kneecap causing me tremendous pain which was what made bending and stretching my leg painful, but I breathed through it and am able to bed my knees so much farther then I was able. Still can't touch my butt with my heel but we're working on it.

Two weeks after getting to the rehabilitation facility a case manage from my insurance came to me to inform me that they only pay for fourteen days do I had to leave the next day. She told me that I could go to a nursing home where I would reveive rahab once a week for a little more than half an hour.

She asked where I would like to go and I said home. She was like im who would take care of you? You can't walk. I said that I'd like to go home when I was able to so I needed to stay there. But she said I couldn't so I started to cry. Why the hell was she talking to me? With the brain injury? I told her to call my husband and she asked for his number but I didn't remember it.

My mom came in after she left to me crying and I told her what happened. She was pisses to say the least. She went off to find her and to yell at her for coming to me of all people.

I managed to get another week and and when she came back to talk to my physical therapists about my progress and getting another week she said it was a good chance I'd get it. But I did not.

The day I was to leave, my doctor didn't even know I was leaving. Nor did my therapists, even though the case manager had supposedly told them I was.

That day, on September 5th, I went home. I was unable to really care for myself so my husband called work and even though he had no more paid time off he told them that he needed to stay home to care for me. His GM gave him the time paid, because he'd ask about me and my progress and because my husband is such a hard worker.

We were given a list of physical therapists that took my insurance, so we called and made an appointment. I needed physical for my legs and feet and occupational for my left hand. Although, when I got home, I slept with my fingers entwined to stretch them out. It worked really well, and I had to sleep on my back because I still had my feeding tube in because the last hospital I was at couldn't take ot out. So, I had it for two weeks until it was pulled out. And it was literally pulled out. The end had been pulled free from my stomach when I had been moved in the hospital so it was just chilling in between the tissue. The dr even said yeah that's not in your stomach. Swell. Take it out then, please.

After that, I started therapy. My therapist were brutal and harsh but I need that. My physical therapist gave me a walker and told me to walk. Because my husband was helping me stand at home often, I had more balance and was able to walk, even on my tip toes.

The occupational therapist helped with my hand and shoulder which I had limited motion in because I had broken my left collar bone also. Since I was posturing so bad, it would click and snap during the healing process so loud people could hear it, it healed awkward. Like one side on top of the other slightly.

But with their help, I'm actually able to lift my arm straight up and reach behind my head to put my hair up. I no longer need occupational therapy, being comfortable with the strength and use of my hand, so, last week I was discharged from that.

I had went to a podiatrist to see if he could help with my feet and he said the only fix is surgery. Meaning they'd have to cut open my leg and cut the muscle from my bone. Then screw metal rods into my bones and I'd have to wear a halo cast which is unweight bearing. How would I get to the bathroom?

We said we wanted another opinion but glad we have options. But if I can do anything else, I don't want the surgery. I really don't.

The husband called a foot splint guy and he came out and measured me for splints. He said unless I have bone issues as well, which according to my Xrays my bones are fine, the splints will work. My insurance doesn't cover them but they are giving us a payment plan because they're $300 a month to rent. I get my splints this week.

Being home has been good for me. I've learned how to use the bathroom on my own and I walk a lot with the walker. And I have balance. Only thing left is getting my feet back to normal. I get frustrated and because of the brain injury, it's super easy for me to get emotional but, one day at a time. I got this. And I'll keep you updated.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oreo

I am speechless and inspired by your perseverance. I hope someday soon you are able to get around without such pain. *offers hugs*

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears

Had physical therapy today. I was able to ride the stationary bike and get my left knee bending without a log of pain. I think it was because I had woke up at 4 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep, so I pulled my legs as close as I could to my chest and stretched the hell out of my knees. Hurt like a mother but I held it and breathed through it. It tired me out so I could get back to sleep.

When I was walking between the parallel bars, my damn calf got a charley horse. Don't know whether to hate it or like it because it means my muscle is working again and regaining definition.

Walking wasn't horrible today buy damn, walking on my tiptoes sucks and hurts like hell after awhile. Because let's face it, no one except ballerinas walk on their tiptoes. And I've seen enough of Save The Last Dance to know that sucks.

I was also able to stand without using my hands on the arms of the chair. Putting my whole weight onto my feet. Which the therapist thought was awesome. Also managed to balance without holding on to anything.

Now, I'm home, making a cake so I can ice it to make sure I can get my hands to do it again. Because if I can do that basic, then I can intensely decorate like I had been doing before the accident.

I'll try to post pictures of it for you to see.

Other than all that, I'm in a great mood today. Hoping to get my splints by Friday. I'm so ready for them to help get my feet back to normal.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oreo

That is an awesome update. I get charlie horses all the time, everywhere; arms, legs, back, hands. They can be quite painful. If I bend my arm the wrong way my hand curls up into a knotted chicken foot looking thing. It's the result of a neck injury way back in '97. I just need to remind myself...must not stand like Peter Pan. Fists on hips get me every time.

;D I would love to see the cake. I used to decorate in my younger years, but I wasn't very good at it.

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears

So I'd thought I'd bake a cake and decorate it to see how I'd do.

Kinda shotty but hey it's the first one since the accident and as I only had one can of cream cheese icing, had little to work with. But it will taste yummy. And since I'm not selling this one, it's going to get eaten by the husband and me. :)
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oreo

Hey, that is no little thing when you are struggling. Good go. I have trouble trying to stir cheese sauce. >.< We make do with what we can do.

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears

Had therapy today. Went very well minus the pain in my left knee. Gotta say, I'm really tired of the pain.

The splint guy for my feet called this morning. I pick them up tomorrow. Whoo!

My husband had been looking online at them and found a medical journal for them. A lady with worse contractors than me had them and they put her feet back to normal in two weeks. Two weeks!

Now if they work that fast for me, dude, I'll be walking in no time! We didn't schedule therapy for two weeks to give them a chance to do their thing then when I go back, my therapist will measure me to see. Fingers crossed people.

I gotta be totally positive with this. So, you know what, they will work. But your extra thoughts will help. That's what helped me when I was in a coma. If it wasn't for that and my mom and husband not giving up, I would have. Because I'm sure I would of felt it if they had. But they didn't, so I didn't. And here I am! Kicking ass and being a badass!
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oniya

I misread your post, and saw 'contractors' as 'those people who build things for other people' instead of 'muscles that are contracting.'  ;D>

Keep on kicking ass!
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

wolventears

No I think I may have spelled it wrong. Dumb phone. Was typing it up on my phone and it autocorrected.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oreo

You'll be in my thoughts. I hope the splints do wonders. ;D *leaves hugs if needed*

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears



Alright! Got my splints today! Whoo! The guy was very confident that they will work. Which heightens my confidence. Because yea, I'll be walking in no time!

Don't hope for me because they will work! Only positive thoughts please. I got this! I'll be walking before you know it. Even if it's with a walker at first. But hey, I'll be out of the wheelchair. And that thing is damned uncomfortable. So all the more reason!
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oniya

Next stop, Boston Marathon?  :D 

*waves pompoms*
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

wolventears

A triathalon! I am determined to get my feet back to normal!
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Dez

You are truly an inspiration, wolventears. Seriously.

Sending positive thoughts your way, too!

The cake looked delicious!


Oreo

I know you will do it!! ;D Your determination is limitless. *hugs*

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears

Been busy making pumpkin roll today. Nom Nom Nom. Thanksgiving is going to be so good. Ready for turkey and homemade stuffing. Giblet gravy. Drinking a little. Or since I don't have work on Friday, a lot. Haha.

Since I started using my splints yesterday, my feet are actually looking better. After one day! One day! So after awhile, I expect good things.

Just finished my pumpkin rolls and because of my brain injury, it doesn't seem that I remember how to go about making them. So one out of three turned out like shyte. The other two aren't horrible but just glad they're for family and I'm not selling them. Very frustrating.

But, just breathe I'm telling myself. It will get better. I will get better. It is taking it's sweet ass time though. Grr.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

wolventears

So, today was a lazy day. I did wear my splints the regular times and already I am seeing progress. The toes on my left foot are back to where they should be rather than pointing down. And my heels on both feet are moving down. My right foot is so close. So damn close.

Today was quite cold though so the joint pains in my knees were pretty bad. Regardless of the pills I took. I think when I'm finally back to normal again, that joint pain will always be with me. Sucks but if that's the only thing that is wrong with me, I can't really complain.

Made some breakfast. Sausage gravy and biscuits. So yummy. Glad I can comfortably use my hands again. So happy, I even made some cheddar bacon beer bread and oh my Goddess. Amazingly delicious.

Other than all that, today was a good lazy day. Watching football and doing a while bunch of nothing else.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

wolventears

So last night was my first real time going out without my husband. Went and saw the Doctor Who 50th anniversary which was utterly brilliant by the way.

Although did have some issues when first arriving. Two girls were sitting in handicap chairs and obviously weren't handicapped so my friend asked if they could move so we could sit there. They looked at me and gave me a dirty look. Shit. Like I put myself into this damn wheelchair on purpose?!

They got up, talking shit. Really? Common decency. Learn a little respect for fucks sake. Oh no. They had to move down a row. Goddess forbid.

Other than that, had a great time with great girls. Than met up with the husbands at the Chicago Brewing company down the way. Had some amazing beer and a damn good hot pastrami.

On a less geeky note, my splints are already helping my feet. Its amazing how fast they're working. Knock on wood. Have more to go but I'm on my way there!
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oreo

Glad to hear you were able to get out and have some good fun and good food!

*knocks on all my walls* (My entire house is cedar.) I want to see those straight feet without splints. ;D

She led me to safety in a forest of green, and showed my stale eyes some sights never seen.
She spins magic and moonlight in her meadows and streams, and seeks deep inside me,
and touches my dreams. - Harry Chapin

wolventears

So Thanksgiving was really good and my family was so happy that I was able to be there. I'm using a walker more than my wheelchair now even though I'm on my tip toes but my full body weight is helping stretch my achilles.

I found out though that I have gained 30 pounds since being home. I know some of it is my muscle coming back and I have biceps that are intense from contiuessly picking myself up but I'm so not happy with my weight. Back to dieting!

After eating nothing but hospital food and being tube fed for months, I was really eating everything I could get my hands on but now, I need to get my self control back.

I also will start getting some cardio in and doing sit ups. It'll strengthen my core and legs which wouldn't hurt for when I start walking again. So a lot of chicken and salad again. Already took soda out of my diet so I'm off to a good start.

Yesterday, I was able to get the heel of my right foot on the ground while I stood so, the splints are working! Whoo! Not quite as much on the left which frustrates the hell out of me but it is the impact side so it will take longer. But it will get there.

I'm doing amazingly well so far and I just need to keep motivated and on track and before we know it, I'll be running around the block. Holding onto my boobs but running all the same. Haha.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

wolventears

So got into the shower this morning with no help. Standing shower so didn't have to go over the side of a tub which helped. But I did it without even my husband in the room. Whoo! Now maybe I can shower when he's at work which would be awesome instead of waiting until 7 in the evening or waking up at 6 to shower.

Had a doctors appointment today. It just makes me so happy when the doctors say how good I look or when they are so happy I'm getting my strength back.

But I had to go to get a filled out form for my leave of absence because I kind of have to be able to walk and stand for my job. Which the splints are working wonders.

I'm able to push my right foot flat. Still just won't automatically go there but its an actual possibility now. My left foot has gone an inch but is still up there. But it is working. And it can be frustrating but it's doing what it needs to.

My husband made me cry last night. Since I've been awake from the coma, he now calls me pookie. He has never called me that before the accident and I asked him why all of a sudden.

He said when his grandfather got home from the Vietnam war, he called grandma pookie. And when he was being real sweet and loving to her, he'd call her that. It was a thing he started calling her because what if he hadn't been able to come home to her? That was what he had told my husband when he had asked why he called her that.

When I was in the coma, he had started calling me pookie and had forgotten where he had gotten it from. He said he had had a dream of his grandfather and the man had said now you understand why.

His grandfather was such a good man and to watch him die had broke my own heart. And just writing about this even now, I have tears in my eyes.

But, my husband didn't give up. And I'm here. In a wheelchair for the time being, but I'm here. I know for a fact if I didn't have him, I wouldnt have pulled through. I would have proved all those doctors right. But since I do and will for always, I'm here. So thankful for everything especially him. I've never felt so loved in my life.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Null

I am truly floored by your sheer will to move on with life. Being honest with myself, I probably would have given up had this happend to me. You are superhuman. Keep up the incredibly amazing recovery! * good luck hugs *
I was younger then, I wasn't afraid of anything, I didn't think about dying for a second. I thought I was invincible. Then I met her. Before me, my world shattered. I wanted to live, I started to think like that; for the first time I was afraid of death. I had never felt like that before.

persephone325

Wow... Just, wow...

You're such an amazing woman. I can't imagine how traumatic something like that must have been. I've been in a car accident, but nowhere near as bad... I guess I got off lucky...

*hugs and wishing you all the best*
This doesn't have to end in a fight, Buck.
It always ends in a fight.
You pulled me from the river. Why?
I don't know.
"Don't dwell on those who hold you down. Instead, cherish those who helped you up."

wolventears

A little update on my feet.

My right foot is so damn close. It's like a hair away from the floor. My left is taking more time but that is the impact side so a little more slow going. But it is down by at least an inch so yeah it's frustrating how slowly but I really can't complain.
In fear, I ran this way and that, the tastes of blood and chocolate in my mouth.

My yes please and not so much. ;)
And if you'd ever like to know why I was away for awhile

Oniya

"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17