Breakup with the person above you!

[Kythia]

You know what I'm sick of, Cayenne?  I mean, apart from Adobe Flashplayer, (thinking its all that, fucking piece of shit, wheres the the respect for the classics). 

It's you, hanging out the passenger side of your best friend's ride and trying to holler at me.  I've been quite clear, a scrub - also known as a buster - is the kind of gal who can't get no love from me.  You think you're fly, always talking about what you want and sitting on your broke ass.  I'm talking to you, Cayenne.  You ain't got no car and you're walking, you live at home with your mamma.  I mean, Christ, you have a shortie but you don't show love.  I'm looking like class and you're looking like trash and you know that you cannot approach me.  Your game is kinda weak.

So no, Cayenne, I don't want your number.  And no, I don't want to give you mine (I appreciate its a little late for that, but what I mean is that I've deleted yours and changed mine, I just phrased it badly).

[Cayenne]

Dear Kythia,

I don't know why you are still sending me messages, as we are broken up, and thus, any ties we once had completely disapear and we are like strangers in the night of whom hold irrational anger at each other. 

That being said, I thought I would clear some stuff up for you.

1) The world is dying because we're pumping fossil fuels into the atmosphere, who'd have thought the true dinosaur attack that kills us all comes in the form of turning them into the gogo juice for our cars and slowly choking ourselves to death on the noxious fumes because a bunch of stuck up women like yourself aren't into carpool/drive by courting rituals. 

2) I own a car, I choose to walk! I don't like driving, I don't understand why everyone needs to have their own car, and why the government thinks its cool to hand over control of the insurance industry that is required by law in order to operate said car to the private industry of whom is not out to serve customers, but yanno, figuratively rape them of their income and as much as possible, abandon them in their times of need.

3) I aen't no buster.  I don't chase down ghosts, I don't share co-star role on a childrens cartoon with a girl named babs of whom we share last names but, are somehow not related enough to be considered worth while.

Alright, now that that is out of the way, I will say that this is the part where I take the high road, and don't call out your "I stole my jeans off a bear mauling victim - Oxyclean does work magic on gore stains" and whatnot and point out that we continue to be over, and I hope you have your "Fun little life that is basically meaningless since I am the center of the universe, and the further you decide to rotate from me, the colder and more lonely and less planetoid like you're going to seem (Looking at you, Mrs. Pluto)

So to conclude.

1) We are through.
2) You are an echo terrorist.
3) You steal your fashion from corpses.

Cayenne~

P.S.

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide

I still think you are cool~

[blue bunny sparkle]

Dear Cayenne,

So there we were, at the Jurassic Amusement Park having so much fun poking dinosaurs with sticks and taking selfies in front of a bunch of  stegosaurus to show our non-adventurous friends.

Funny how Kythia kept texting you through it all. Funny how you kept texting her back. Even funnier is how I peeked at your conversations. And... I know you said you didn't care, but there was that hint of desperation in your typing that said you did.

So, I'm sorry for the 6 pounds of raw hamburger I hid in your backpack when we next went to visit the T-Rexs. And it really hurt me to lock you inside the containment gate. Really. My heart was breaking the whole time I lowered down that massive gate and clicked the locks. Really! I even cried a little.

But you know... I'm a one woman gal. And you're now like some little dino snack, so I guess it's time for me to find a new adventure on some hard to reach island in the middle of nowhere with a new girl... one without a phone!

[Cayenne]

Dear Blue Bunny.

This probably isn't something I should be sharing with the world but.. honestly I do recall you trying to murder me at least once.

I don't know that I was ever super into this idea of you wearing a skin tight suit of flexible aluminium foil, and every occurrence of sex began with you laying splayed on the bed screaming "TEAR OFF THE FOIL AND EAT ME" I mean, I have some unique fetishes myself, but honestly, everyday isn't your special day where it's all about you and your specific, and kind of creepy at times needs.   I mean, I don't know that you've realized how incredibly sweaty you get while wearing this body suit of unbreathable material - and of course - you've been hot boxing all day makes all things much more ...lets call it potent.

Not to mention (But to mention anyway), you talking over the whole 'eating' process saying how you'll be going right to my hips and obviously be back tomorrow because of the addictive properties of chocolate (Of which, you are kind of not - regardless of skin colour).

So anyway, if you ever come out of your shell (Literally, just stop wearing that thing), give me a ring.

Keeping her options open, Cayenne~

[Renegade Vile]

Cayenne,

Your obsession with the tilde has gone too far. I could tolerate the custom rims on the car. I could understand the tattoos. And I could look beyond the need to vocally add the word "tilde" at the back of every sentence you uttered; just to stay in line with your written word.
But the moment you decided to try and brand me with a hot, tilde-shaped poker, you went too far. You know I wanted an infinity sign instead, and you just callously disregarded it.

We're done. And you can take the cat with you. She's not been the same since you shaved her anyway.

Yours nevermore,
Bob A. Nonimity

[Kythia]

I don't get it, Renegade Vile.  What did you think was going to happen when I regained my eyesight?

Obviously you're dumped.  I mean...obviously.

[SpiralSpider]

You've been plotting against me so, of course we can't stay together.  ::)

[Rubicon]

Look... look... it's... you're wonderful. You are.

And it has been wonderful. Every moment. Every second. Every thought.

But... see....

...now I know you're a Princess Jellyfish fan, and that is awesome, but as I know you know out of necessity whenever I see you I must freeze until you move out of my range of vision. It's a protective reflex. Just....

No no. This post must suffice. I have way too much to get done to be in stunned Otaku mode. Goodbye forever.

[CutiebyNight]

Darling, it won't work out between us.

You're a Lord, I'm an unapproved.

Love isn't meant for people such as you and I!

We are from two different worlds!

I guess... this is... goodbye! ~prances away in melodramatic fashion~

[Raef]

Sorry dood! This bromance ends now! I cant believe you ate the last piece of pizza in the fridge! Gah!

[Angelic Kitten]

Raef,

I'm sorry... losing the keys to the handcuffs was the last straw... I'm afraid I gotta tell you it's over.

[Raef]

Wait what? You cant break up with me! I'm breaking up with you! I'm tired of having to pick up your toys after you, woman! :P and put the batteries back in the TV remote if you borrow them at least! sheeesh!

[Kythia]

Why won't you let me see the top of your head, Raef?  Why?  What are you hiding up there?  It's freaking me the fuck out, that's what its doing.  Like, why would you choose an appearance that only showed part of your body?  Weird, if you ask me.  Don't, like, don't truncate part of yourself.  It makes you look shifty.  Like there's some sort of weird growth up there you're hoping noone will notice.

Well. I have Raef, I have.  And as someone passionately devoted t showing every last part of someone's head in their forum avatar I can't be with you any longer.  I have a reputation to uphold.

[Raef]

Well now! This is rich coming from Miss "Have-long-flowing-blond-hair-but-no-head-at-all" Kythia! I say! *huffs irritably*

Did non of those precious seconds I gave you, mean a thing? *sobs but mans the frig up* I wont cry for you!

I'm done! You don't break up with me...I...dump...your...well formed, shapely and might I add, hawt ass!

[Angelic Kitten]

My god Raef, I cant stand you anymore.

I cant be dating anyone that spends more time in the bathroom than me.  That's just a little too Metro for me.

[AmberStarfire]

I'm allergic to cats, angelic or not. I just can't take the sneezing anymore, I feel like my nose is about to drop off.

I'm sorry Angelic Kitten, but it is not meant to be!

[seekeroftruth22]

 *hugs starfire and kisses her forehead* im sorry Nalla, we cannot be together, im moving to Ireland and you belong here. please forgive me

[Raef]

Doood! What the heck man! You drank my last guinness! This bromance is totes over! *Storms out*

[seekeroftruth22]

 *calls out after him* that's what you get for not doing the dishes when it was your turn!

[Merry Gentry]

We really don't know each other... sorry!

[Phoenixrisen]

You could do so much better than me baby. I just can't hold you back any longer.

[Merry Gentry]

You're quite Insatiable, and I am just exhausted by you! 

[Angelic Kitten]

My god, it's always me me me me me... Can't you think of anyone besides yourself for just a moment?

It's over... over i tell you.. .I can't stand to be...oh... wait... Sorry bout that, I dont seem to know you at all, though you do have a striking resemblance.

So much so that i can't even contemplate starting, so yeah, it's over before we start i'm afraid.

[Mikem]

Angelic I'm sorry. It's not that I don't like you, it's just...you're a kitten. It just can't work, I mean literally. You're another species and tiny and fragile and cute. You're too cute and adorable to be with seriously, every time I see you I just want to snuggle your wittle face. I need a woman.

But really, it's not you, it's me. I'd still love it if we could stay friends. I'll keep doing that butt scratching thing you love so much.

[Stone]

Well, I just looked at your birth certificate. You're not Moby. Liar. Go away.