Breakup with the person above you!

[Belle33]

I saw the photos of you with that other chick in our bed... so...goodbye.

[Despairs]

Dear Belle

I have enjoyed our two years together. You are a smart, kind and beautiful woman. Unfortunately your constant jealousy drives me up a wall. I have tried my best to work things out with you, but it was a waste in the end. The ring is on the bed, along with all the stuff you ever gave me. Good-bye my sweet sweet Belle.

Dark Despairs

[Belle33]

I've thought about it and I just don't think I can accept that particular fetish into our intimate life.  But, I don't want to ask you to limit yourself by staying with me.  So, goodbye, Dark Desires.

P.s, I hope you know what you desire is illegal in 50 states, and frowned upon on six continents.  Don't expect me to bail you out!

[Despairs]

You are one crazy woman! To think that you would cut off my arm, because you thought I was sleeping with another woman in our bed. Those pictures you found, they were photoshopped! I didn't sign up for this crap!

[Csharynn]

Hey listen Despairs, let's not make this harder than it has to be but I thought I could deal with it. I tried to deal with, I just can't I mean having a kid in nearly every state? Come on! Time for you to close the shop.

[Despairs]

You watch too much porn. I can't be in a relationship with a porn addict. Good-bye!

[Csharynn]

I don't like that thing you do with your throat, sounds like you swallowed a squirrel. Hit the road dude.

[Despairs]

For thirty years, I have endured your terrible cooking. No amount of cooking classes made you any better. Cooking is not your forte! I cannot live with a woman who can't even even make pasta properly.

[Rubicon]

I can't help it -- I'm culinarily impaired -- I need special assistive devices to even make toast! If you're going to be so close minded we are so, so through.

[Despairs]

You never call me and when you do, you're either asking for money or you're drunk. I am leaving you.

[Lapine]

You never send money when I call you asking for it,even though I'm slightly tipsy.  We're through.

[Despairs]

Every time I send you money, you spend it on alcohol. You always say you're going to stop drinking, but you never do. Let's not forget the time I came home from work to find you passed out on my doorstep and the time you smashed a bottle over my head, just because I wouldn't allow you drink. I have tried to get you to quit, even drove you to AA meetings, etc. In the end it was all for nothing. I can't deal with this anymore. Good luck getting the help you need!

[Mnemosyne]

I don't know what led you to become this way. Maybe you were always this way. I can't handle the way you have fallen under this delusion that I actually drink! I haven't touched a drop of liquor in my life! You are breaking my heart with all this constant torment. You are always berating me even to the point of violence, about the drinking problem I don't have! I don't know who hurt you in the past, but I'm not going to let you take this out on me anymore. I tried, I really tried. I wanted so much to love you, to help you. When it took me knocking you out to keep you from threatening my life, I reached my limit. You know I'm not a violent person, I hate myself for what I've done. I don't know if I can forgive myself, let alone you. Please, let me go in peace. I don't want to be your burden anymore.

[Belle33]

Sorry to text you like this, but - it's over.  (sad face emogi , sad face emoji, broken heart emogi)

[Despairs]

All I did was try to help you out of the kindness of my black heart, but instead you accused me of trying to kill you and steal your riches. You were my first and I loved you dearly. P.S. I didn't even know you were rich when we first got together.

[Belle33]

I can't deal with your tiny font anymore!  Call me when you get a bigger one.

[Despairs]

Me me me me me! Not to mention the constant nagging. I am out of here.

[Mnemosyne]

I wish you would stop complaining about me for one second to see how bad you are in comparison. You've changed, and now you are trying to change me. You are not the person I fell in love with. I hope you are happy with the way your life is going, when it no longer has me in it.

[Despairs]

You refuse to get past my hideous features! I am sorry that I wasn't blessed with good looks, like you.

[Mnemosyne]

I wanted to believe you so much that I fooled myself. Even when I had proof. I even forgave you when you cheated on me the first time, but you proposed to me! How could you do this? You can't tell me that you chose me then say that you chose her as well. I thought you were keeping the ring safe for me, but it is just part of your con to get into every woman's bed that you can, isn't it? You sicken me. You will be lucky if after I leave you don't have hell to pay.

[Despairs]

(Reminds of hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.) You keep accusing me of cheating, where is the bloody evidence!? Let's not forget the time I caught you with two males at once! I thought you were the one, but you are just like the others...

[Belle33]

It's not you - it's you and Amy, and Lisa, and Francis, and Renee, and Elizabeth, and William, and Courtney, and Candice.  It would be different if you invited me to join in.  But no!  So selfish! We're done!

[Despairs]

You refuse to spice things up in the bedroom!

[Belle33]

You said I was special.  I don't feel special to you.  Goodbye.

[Despairs]

You screwed my best friend!