Things you don't want to hear on the first date

Started by Phil66666, April 24, 2012, 10:25:06 AM

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Mr Bigglesworth

#50
April 27, 2012, 06:54:09 AM
Can you cut my toenails first?

SummerWhispers

#51
April 27, 2012, 11:15:59 AM
You did bring your credit card, didn't you?

Mr Bigglesworth

#52
April 27, 2012, 11:31:41 AM
Just so you know, I'm impotent.

SinfulAngel

#53
April 27, 2012, 01:42:53 PM
Here's a tissue *pulls tissue from bra*

Updated Unicorn 1/24/17
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Mr Bigglesworth

#54
April 27, 2012, 01:44:20 PM
I have my own tissues *Pulls from crotch*

SinfulAngel

#55
April 27, 2012, 01:59:06 PM
Quote from: Mr Bigglesworth on April 27, 2012, 01:44:20 PM
I have my own tissues *Pulls from crotch*
That is amazing.. but most definitely undesired to the ears on a first date.


So my wife thinks i'm cheating on her.

Updated Unicorn 1/24/17
      Active stories ~ 5  Post time frame 1-5 days

Mordred

#56
April 27, 2012, 02:11:40 PM
Oh shit. Lemme just make a pitstop at the store.. forgot, I don't have any condoms. We are gonna have sex, right? I mean.. jeez.. you ordered lobster!
*See Pillory*

SummerWhispers

#57
April 28, 2012, 10:30:54 AM
Oh here,*reaches in purse and hands him a note*, this my price list, some of which is negotiable of course.

Mordred

#58
April 28, 2012, 12:01:58 PM
I'll have extra garlic on that!
*See Pillory*

Raeyna

#59
April 28, 2012, 06:24:05 PM
*looking up from iPhone* I've booked the Church for Saturday. I'm so excited about our wedding!
"We lie in each other's arms eyes shut and fingers open and all the colors of the world pass through our bodies like strings of fire."

Kurzyk

#60
April 28, 2012, 06:30:28 PM
Go ahead and order, I'll be right back... man I really have to take a crap.

Grainne

#61
April 28, 2012, 07:44:23 PM
Oh...I didn't tell you I lived in my parents' basement?
Be the change you wish to see.
------------------------------------------------

SummerWhispers

#62
April 28, 2012, 08:06:32 PM
My boyfriend will of course be joining us for dinner, and I think he may even be planning on pay for his own meal.

Mordred

#63
April 28, 2012, 09:09:44 PM
Hey.. wanna see my laboratory?
*See Pillory*

Adammair

#64
April 29, 2012, 08:24:41 AM
"Whaddya mean you've never met a 30th level dwarven cleric/fighter/thief?!"

SummerWhispers

#65
April 29, 2012, 02:27:38 PM
Here grab these change rolls, and help me get these quarters and dimes rolled, we should be good with just those, but if we have desert we will have to roll up some nickels.

Rhys Thanatos

#66
April 29, 2012, 09:12:10 PM
So, I just wanted to let you know before this date goes any further.  I really have a penis under this skirt.  I hope you dont mind, I can keep it hidden if you prefer.

Skadii

#67
April 29, 2012, 09:20:09 PM
Hey...can I borrow 20 bucks?

Rhys Thanatos

#68
April 29, 2012, 09:22:27 PM
I have to wear a colostomy bag

Xenolord

#69
April 29, 2012, 09:35:51 PM
What do you mean I can't bring another two dates to this one? Girls are like Voltron. The more you hook up, the better it gets!

Raeyna

#70
April 30, 2012, 01:25:29 AM
I'm 6 weeks pregnant, congratulations Daddy!
"We lie in each other's arms eyes shut and fingers open and all the colors of the world pass through our bodies like strings of fire."

Xydaef

#71
April 30, 2012, 02:07:05 AM
I really like you, you should meet my family!

Veluux

#72
April 30, 2012, 02:59:17 AM
My ex __________.


I am watching you [you]...
From the darkest of shadows...

Adammair

#73
April 30, 2012, 03:18:44 AM
Quote from: Veluux on April 30, 2012, 02:59:17 AM
My ex __________.

...is pregnant. I really should be getting back to her.

Autumn52

#74
April 30, 2012, 04:22:18 AM
wanna go dumpster diving?
May light guide you through your turmoil and may darkness never cross your path.

White Light be upon you if that is your wish
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