Random Movie Quotes

[Autumn52]

I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.

Pride and Prejudice: Elizabeth say this about Mr. Darcy

[Mordred]

Lance: Hey, whattya think about Trudi? She ain't got a boyfriend. You wanna hang out, get high?
Vincent: Which one's Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face?
Lance: No, that's Jody. That's my wife.

Pulp Fiction

[Autumn52]

Trinity:I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, Neo. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.

The Matrix

[Morloki]

Yoda ? Who is this Yoda you speak off ?

euh ......... Yoda is one of our greatest military trainers on Earth.      John Crighton in Farscape

[Sylk]

'NO Capes!"

The Incredibles

[Pointless Digression]

Y'know that ringing in your ears? That "eeeeeeeeee?" That's the sound of the ear cells dying, like their swan song. Once it's gone you'll never hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while it lasts.

--Children of Men.

[Xandria]

Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[Pointless Digression]

Who killed whom.

Oh. You know, there are days I really hate this job. This is not my best work, not by a long shot. Oh, sure, a few murders and a couple of rather lovely explosions. I would hardly call it a rousing success, but what the hell? I'll be back. In the meantime, you and Polly, you are two terrific kids, and you'll marry her. Trust me. She's a lovely girl, Alan. You'll have a wonderful family. Oh, by the way, give my regards to your grandson. Bob will be his name, International Trade his game. I'll see him in Jakarta, 2053. August 14th. 10a.m. A nice, sunny day. We'll make headlines.
--Needful Things

[yasarra]

Eat your cereal with a fork and do your homework in the dark.  - Pump Up The Volume

[Kuroneko]

"What are you going to do, Otho?  Viciously rearrange their environment?"

~Beetlejuice

[freakula86]

I am the punishment of god, those of you who have not committed great sins
God wouldn't have sent a punishment, like me upon you.

Blood and Bone

[Mordred]

Steven (Carrey): Can I get a knife or fork?
Wench (Garofalo): There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?
Steven (Carrey): There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?
Wench (Garofalo): Dude, I got a lot of tables.

Cable Guy

[WickedOne]

Phoebe: [outside the tree house, wanting to join the club] Mom says you have to let me in or else it's prescription!
Sean: That's 'discrimination' jerkoid! Prescription is drugs, which you're on if you think you're getting in here!

~ Monster Squad

[Penny]

Commissioner Gordon: It could be any one of them... But which one? Which ones?
Batman: Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder...
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin?
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea... Sea. C for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet, an exploding shark *was* pulling my leg...
Commissioner Gordon: The Joker!
Chief O'Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle... Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon: A thought strikes me... So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance...
Batman: The four of them... Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!

Batman: The Movie

[Funguy81]

(Oh god! i remember the campiness of that movie!)

"It's just a flesh wound."

The black knight.  Monty Python and The Holy Grail.

[Elturel]

"This Twinkie Thing....its not over"

Woody Harrelson
Zombieland..

[Morrowclaw]

"We could kill everybody" -Rocco

The Boondock saints.

[Villain]

Johnny: I did not hit her, it's bullshit I did not hit her, I did naaaawt....oh hai Mark.

The Room (AKA: The worst film ever made)

[Pointless Digression]

The Room (AKA: The worst film ever made)

I'm going to have to dispute that one with you, Villain. Currently, The Room has a ranking of 3.3 on IMDB, which doesn't even place it in the bottom 100 of bad movies. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 30% freshness, which precludes it from making any of their "Worst of the Worst" lists.

Now...how about a movie that beats The Room in badness seven ways from Sunday?

The Master: O Manos... thou of primal darkness! Thou who dwelleth in the depths of the universe in the black casims of night! Thou who bestoweth the mother darkness upon thy faithful to live internally by her keeping! Thou dost make him most blessed forever! And thou who dost cursed with eternal burning life those whom transrest against thee! Holy art thou, holy art thou, holy art thou! Manos' will be done! Thy priest whoeth remains stead-fast, thy priest whoeth remains constant, thy priest whoeth remains righteous! Thou hast taught us, O Manos, and we hath listened. Give ear to our words, O Manos, and hear us! Hear us! Hear us for we are faithful and thou art our God!

--Hands! The Manos of Fate....Manos! The Manos of Fates....Hands! The Hands of Fate
--Manos! The Hands of Fate

[Oniya]

I frequent a site that reviews 'weird movies'.  At some point, someone recommended 'Hands' as weird, so the owner gave it a screening.  From the review:

Abraham pleaded with God to save the city of Sodom from eradication via brimstone if he could find only a few good men inside the city limits; similarly, I won’t condemn Manos as a completely worthless endeavor if I can ferret out just a few good things about it.  A brief recital of Manos‘ cinematic sins, however, makes the judgment look dire for this microbudget brainchild of a fertilizer salesman from El Paso, Texas.

I think 'The Room' is still on the long list of pending reviews.

[Xandria]

[the Sheriff has said he'll cut out Robin Hood's heart with a spoon]
Guy of Gisborne: Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it's DULL, you twit. It'll hurt more.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves

[Tambit]

Buttercup: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.
Westley: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are the three terrors of the Fire Swamp? One, the flame spurt - no problem. There's a popping sound preceding each; we can avoid that. Two, the lightning sand, which you were clever enough to discover what that looks like, so in the future we can avoid that too.
Buttercup: Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?
Westley: Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

[Belle33]

Beatrix Kiddo: You "overreacted"? Is that your explanation?

Bill: I didn't say I was going to explain myself. I said I was going to tell you the truth. But if that's too cryptic, let's get literal. I'm a killer. A murdering bastard, you know that. And there are consequences to breaking the heart of a murdering bastard.

Kill Bill Vol 2

[gaggedLouise]

Opening of a review of Agnes Varda's Vagabond (Sans toit ni loi /"Without a Roof, Without a Law") at Amazon. The guy who wrote this must have been responding to an earlier, negative review by a Quebecois:

Three reasons why Canadiens don't like this film. First, wine is preferred over beer in this French movie. Second, there are no beavers in the movie. And third, Canadiens can't handle a film without subtitles.

The final taunt that French-Canadians don't understand continental French really caps it.  :D

[Villain]

I'm going to have to dispute that one with you, Villain. Currently, The Room has a ranking of 3.3 on IMDB, which doesn't even place it in the bottom 100 of bad movies. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 30% freshness, which precludes it from making any of their "Worst of the Worst" lists.

Now...how about a movie that beats The Room in badness seven ways from Sunday?

The Master: O Manos... thou of primal darkness! Thou who dwelleth in the depths of the universe in the black casims of night! Thou who bestoweth the mother darkness upon thy faithful to live internally by her keeping! Thou dost make him most blessed forever! And thou who dost cursed with eternal burning life those whom transrest against thee! Holy art thou, holy art thou, holy art thou! Manos' will be done! Thy priest whoeth remains stead-fast, thy priest whoeth remains constant, thy priest whoeth remains righteous! Thou hast taught us, O Manos, and we hath listened. Give ear to our words, O Manos, and hear us! Hear us! Hear us for we are faithful and thou art our God!

--Hands! The Manos of Fate....Manos! The Manos of Fates....Hands! The Hands of Fate
--Manos! The Hands of Fate

You have enlightened me and I thank you. This ones gonna be fun to watch with my bad film club :D Here's a quote from another god awful film:

Dr. Jones: It's the human species that needs to quit playing cowboy with nature. We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror