THE BEST THING EVER: Week 16!

[Noelle]

TBTE: Week 16


TELL ME, HUMAN. WHAT DO YOU THINK THE BEST THING EVER IS???



THIS WEEK'S DEATHMATCH:

Whoa, baby, you're smooth. You're smooth like the perfectly-oiled chest of a young Fabio being groped by a young woman who is helpless to resist his charm, which is now being threatened by your ways. You're so slick, you could lube a whorehouse and then proceed to fuck everyone in it. You devil, you!

vs.

You've got money. You've got a LOT of money. My god, does a person really need that much? I mean seriously, guys, you could wipe your ass with Franklins twice daily and still not reach the bottom by the time you're old and you're wearing Depends made of Benjamins (Dependjamins?) You never have to worry about being financially secure, you can quit any job you take for mundane reasons like the stapler running out of staples, and best of all, you don't even need a great personality or a lot of friends, because you can take your private jet or magic carpet driven by flying unicorns or whatever it is rich people have these days and go find friends anywhere you damn well please, and may I add, you can start at my house?



Last week's winner:

STEPPING ON CRUNCHY LEAVES vs POPPING BUBBLE WRAP
Those people you see swerving on the sidewalk? Not drunk, just chasing crunchy leaves. Well, maybe it's both.

CRUNCHY LEAVES: 66.7%
Bubble Wrap: 33.3%