The 2011 Conan film

[Chris Brady]

So I finally broke down and got someone else to rent this movie.  Best dollar I never spent.  Or so I wish I could say.  I owe my friend Rick a dollar.  I am going to have to apologize for making him rent this.  Well, not like I twisted his arm, really, he was curious just like I was.  But I feel bad because I'm about to inflict this on him tomorrow.

But dear God, I was right.  They tried to make Conan into yet ANOTHER 'epic' fantasy, when Sword and Sorcery just don't work that way.  The only thing they got right, was that Conan was a solo player for the most part.  That's it.  S&S stories are episodic, they focus on more personal goals, like wine, women and loot, not some sort of revenge quest that spans about 20 years.

Why can't anyone get it right?  Turn it into a TV series, for heaven's sake, that would actually work better than his butcher job.  And why Jason Momoa?  I mean the man can't act, and HE KNOWS IT!  He even said so in an interview!

*Sigh*  At least I didn't spend any money on this at the theatres.

[Caitlin]

I was given this movie for my birthday, but I have to say that the original movies were better. At least the girls looked nice, but then again, you didn't see a whole lot.

The scenery was also nice, but when that becomes noticeable and the main point of attention, well... It's just not good news.

[Shjade]

And why Jason Momoa?  I mean the man can't act, and HE KNOWS IT!  He even said so in an interview!

Because Arnold is best-known for his acting skills. >.>

[Chris Brady]

Because Arnold is best-known for his acting skills. >.>

Don't you DARE get me started on the travesty that was the FIRST two Conan movies!  We'll be here for years as I rant and rave and chew the scenerey (which for some, might be worth the price of admission) about that butchery.  Gah!

[Inkidu]

So I finally broke down and got someone else to rent this movie.  Best dollar I never spent.  Or so I wish I could say.  I owe my friend Rick a dollar.  I am going to have to apologize for making him rent this.  Well, not like I twisted his arm, really, he was curious just like I was.  But I feel bad because I'm about to inflict this on him tomorrow.

But dear God, I was right.  They tried to make Conan into yet ANOTHER 'epic' fantasy, when Sword and Sorcery just don't work that way.  The only thing they got right, was that Conan was a solo player for the most part.  That's it.  S&S stories are episodic, they focus on more personal goals, like wine, women and loot, not some sort of revenge quest that spans about 20 years.

Why can't anyone get it right?  Turn it into a TV series, for heaven's sake, that would actually work better than his butcher job.  And why Jason Momoa?  I mean the man can't act, and HE KNOWS IT!  He even said so in an interview!

*Sigh*  At least I didn't spend any money on this at the theatres.

Well, there's no hard and fast rule saying Sword and Sorcery fantasy can't be epic (though that word is grossly abused by people who have no idea what an epic should be)

However, Conan the Barbarian is a barbarian. In a time when most fantasy dealt with society and elves Conan was supposed to be about the whole war, wine, and women. He's supposed to be a cunning, clever, uncouth. That's the appeal. 

[Chris Brady]

Well, there's no hard and fast rule saying Sword and Sorcery fantasy can't be epic (though that word is grossly abused by people who have no idea what an epic should be)

It depends on the character, and most literary versions of S&S aren't.

However, Conan the Barbarian is a barbarian. In a time when most fantasy dealt with society and elves Conan was supposed to be about the whole war, wine, and women. He's supposed to be a cunning, clever, uncouth. That's the appeal.

Well, yeah.  And none of the movies show that.  And likely never will.  Hooray for Hollywood.