Story time with Chaos

Started by FierceChaos, July 15, 2014, 03:54:58 PM

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Boatman

They came across a Siren who made her call (as she does for all tourists).
"There be fog ahead I'm bein' expectin'," the captain  croaked knowledgeably in his strange way. "No, look over there," cried Emmet raising his arm majestically. Blushing,  he added, "It is an curvy damsel sitting on a rock with her top bits hanging out. And the sight of such pendulous objects is mysteriously make me think of dashing the ship on the rocks to fondle them.
"I'll protect you from her", yelled Madi over the terrible trumpeting. Fearlessly, she wrapped herself around him placing a hand over his eyes to blot out the temptation and drawing his hips against hers. It was then her moustache started twitching uncontrollably.
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

The siren sulked, her Weapons of Mass Distraction having been thwarted by the quick thinking maid, so she pulled out her banjo and cranked her caterwauling up to 11. The sound was so intense, while not exactly unpleasant, it was still quite painful. Everyone covered their ears except for Madi, who still covering up Emmet's eyes with one hand could only cover one of hers. With painful slowness the ship made its way past the rocks upon which the siren was perched, as she continued to rock out epically, displaying banjo skills that all on board couldn't help but find impressive. When they were finally at a safe distance they were all able to uncover their ears, unharmed except for the made, Madi, who having only been able to protect half of herself was left partially deaf in one ear and all the hair on the corresponding side of her head had turned snow white.
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Boatman

Soon the ship reached the part of the chart marked 'untold danger'. And the captain said, "There be untold danger ahead, just like I mentioned to the last lot what came 'ere. But did they listen? No!"
"What is the untold danger, if I might ask?," Madi enquired somewhat effeminately. "Should we be worried?"
The captain was just about to explain when suddenly the ship lurched forwards, swirling down through a portal to the underworld.
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

As the ship tipped forward to an alarming angle many of those on board screamed. One of the screams was particularly high pitched and girly, it turned out to be Emmet who stood in the middle of the deck looking rather sheepish as his companion and all the sailors stared at him. While the sailors seemed to be fairly well adjusted to this strange turn of events only the Bos'n seemed truly at ease, wrapped as he was in his habitual veil of strange purplish mist. He just continued to smoke his pipe and hum odd tunes. Madilynn, whose life had left her little to fear losing stepped forward slowly, walking up the railing and peering into the swirling abyss that yawned below. She gasped, surprised by its splendor and stomach turning beauty.
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Boatman

To her surprise, when Madi couldn't contain her excitement and had to visit the eyes of the ship for a wee, she found two buttons on the Japanese style toilet that controlled the trajectory of the spiralling ship as it plummeted through a hole in caverns of the underworld. 'Lovely stalactites,' she  remarked to herself on passing. Then she noticed the teeth filled yawning chasm of a dragon's leering mouth dead ahead so she shouted to Emmet, "should I go right or left?"
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

Emmet, who was a little unsettled by the motion of the ship and feeling a slightly nauseous, had absolutely no idea which way they should go. He stuttered briefly in his lack of knowledge and towering indecision, before finally shouting, left! Madi pressed the button and the ship lurched suddenly, yawing wildly. The knight was knocked off his feet and sent rolling across the deck with my clanking and clattering. It became impossible to see what was going on around the ship as the movement continued, growing more violent.
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Boatman

Until a waft of newly released hot air (from the volcanic depths or the dragons' empty intestines) slowed the ship's descent and they landed softly in a pit full of giant woodlice. The lousy leader's tiny eyes sparkled at the thought of so much virgin wood and his mandibles juddered with excitement. He signalled for the army to advance and take no prisoners as what would they do with them? Emmet rubbed the tears from his eyes. "I should have turned the other way, he blubbed. I am so sorry."
Madi rushed to comfort him as he flicked back his gorgeous hair and blinked, "will you all forgive me?"
Just then the gnawing started.
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

The mysterious Bos'n, still enveloped in his inexplicable mist, quickly took charge. Soon the sailors had bundled everyone into the life boats, which luckily enough were equipped with sled rails and moved easily over the slick surface of the strange cavern. Almost everyone made it, except of few crew members who had made the mistakes of wearing red shirts, despite being warned how unlucky they were. The small craft skittered away as the enormous insects consumed the once mighty sea craft in a cacophony of horrendous munching. Having managed to climb into the same craft as Emmet, who was still bewailing his ill-fated choice of direction, Madi softly petted his radiant locks, marveling at their silky softness.
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Boatman

#83
As the lifeboats slid along the gently sloping ice-like cavern floor, two collided and were sent spinning off in different directions. “Oooh, weeeeee…. this is so much fun,” the sailors shouted joyfully. “Why didn’t you take us here before captain?”
The captain shook his head. “That here be the dissolving sea and it do be on the chart three skill levels above yourn,” he warned, wagging the remaining finger of his right hand.
The sailors’ joyful shouts and cheers soon faded to groans as one of the spinning boats got stuck on a slight incline. “Awwwww,” its crew moaned disappointedly, all except for one sailor who said, “I’ll get out and push.” 
He leapt out and seemed Ok, but then his sea boots started smoking. And within a few second of touching the shiny surface, the wide eyed seaman had dissolved into a steaming blob of goo with a hiss like sizzling bacon.
“Captain, why did you bring us here,” the terrified crew wailed. “We are all going to die horrible gooey deaths.”
For once, Emmet wasn’t frightened. His mind was elsewhere. Once he’d finally stopped sobbing, he noticed that Madi, his comforter had rather attractive curvy hips. “Maybe I am gay after all,” he sighed to himself, “being attracted to a chap with such an abundantly masculine moustache. Perhaps I am destined to marry the prince.”
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

Madi, noticing the handsome, radiantly haired knight noticing her, blushed furiously and turned away, harrumphing and twirling her mustache nervously. She couldn't allow herself to be distracted. She was going to complete the quest and marry the prince, even if the royal locks were no where near as majestic and petable as Emmet's. Shaking her head she chided herself for entertaining such thoughts while helpless sailors dissolved into shrieking death around her. She was on a quest dammit, and there was no time to be pondering strands of silken hair, no matter how much she may desire to do so.

Resolved on the matter the young maid turned back toward the sailors sharing her life boat. She had often gone sledding as a child and knew that leaving their direction to the mercy of the sled rails was foolhardy at best. Raising her voice so that the other boat's might hear as well she gave simple instructions in the art of sledding, specifically, using body weight to control their direction. The crew took to the task with ease and soon the sled-boats were gracefully moving in formation.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Boatman

#85
For some reason the mysterious Bos'n's leaning one way and then the other didn't affect the attitude of his sled boat at all. "That be odd," the captain remarked knowledgeably. "I'll be having to be doing it myself" And sure enough, the captain's not inconsiderable weight soon brought their boat under control.

Emmet, meanwhile, although tempted to simply enjoy the feeling of his hair floating and twirling in the slipstream as they whisked along, was marvelling at Madi's decisiveness and wondered if he could be falling in true love with the wrong man.

But the ride could not go on forever and Madi's instructions came thick and fast as the towering walls closed in and then split into various exits through huge arches. "Do you need my help choosing an exit, young sir," Emmet piped up trying to impress his new love. "No, you're alright sir Emmet," she replied in as gruff a voice as she could manage. "We're going left... Now lean!" Maid and Emmet's boat, followed by the Bos'n's slipped smoothly into a wide bay and plopped over a small ledge onto what appeared to be grass, then stopped. Behind them, the two remaining crews could hear the echoing screams of their former shipmates being ripped apart by clawed beasts.
History, where creative writing was born.

Phix

The terrifying howl cracked the silence, sending shivers down everyone's spine.
"Harr! 'Tis the dreaded Water Witch!" yelled the silent up to this moment, but still ever-present Skipper Pegleg. "Row fer er life, me dear lads!"
The old man turns to the ledge. "Hurry, ye lovebirds! RUN!"

Dys Astyr

Sir Emmet had just, in an attempt to repair his the damage done to his reputation by the siren incident had just started to test the strange grassy turf by poking it with his sword when a bone chilling howl rocked the strange cavern. A shout went up from the crew as they scrambled to get away from the source of the sound. He looked to Madi for reassurance, but found his comrade to be as confused as himself.

The howl echoed through the caverns a second time, closer now, causing the good knight's glorious hair to stand on end. There was no moving the sled-boats on the strange grassy turf with any kind of speed. The best bet would be to make a run for it.
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Boatman

Then came the flapping sound and a dark shape with huge jagged wings swooped down from the upper reaches of the cavern and in the blink of an eye plucked a sailor from the captain’s
sled-boat. The sailor screamed, cursed and waggled his legs all to no avail as he was quickly whisked away and up towards an untidy nest full of chicks perched on a rocky pinnacle.
The boats’ crews gasped in horror as birdosaurus dropped the tiny speck of their comrade into one of the yawning beaks and the faint sound of his screams ceased.
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

So they ran, for little choice was left them, further into the bowels of the underworld and all its untold dangers. Madi holding tightly to Emmet's cape, the ever dwindling company of sailors ran along, except for the Bos'n who seemed to be sort of floating, but he was keeping up so no one paid it much mind. Away the fled, without rhyme or reason, until at last they stopped, out of breath and nursing serious cramps in their ribs, with the exception of the purple mist veiled Bos'n who calmly puffed on his pipe.

"What do we do now?" Madi gasped as she panted in attempt to fill lungs that felt as though they would never be full again. Next to her Emmet was bent forward, one hand braced on his leg, the other cradling his cramp riddled side, the flaxen locked knight tried to say something, but only to managed to move his mouth like a fish out of water before giving up and dropping his head again. Their uncharted flight of terror had taken them through many twistings and turnings only to deposit them in what appeared to be a cave full of crystals that gave of a soft, almost musical hum. Only the Bos'n was in the position to appreciate this however, and he in his mysterious misty life, had seem things besides which the crystalline cave seemed bland so he didn't much care.
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Boatman

The captain couldn't catch his breath either, which probably saved everyone from suffering another banal comment. However, instead he got out his old beer, whisky, smoke and fish stained chart which only his trained eye could make any sense of. He sniffed a few possible islands and cavern systems shaking his head. Then turned the map up the other way and found another mark which set him off tugging at his straggly beard excitedly.
He scanned around as if searching the distant horizon then pointed over at the shape of a door cunningly concealed within the humming and throbbing crystalline structure. Looking a little closer, they all saw a notice which read,
Path to the Haderrmolk.
TRESPASSERS WILL BE VAPOURISED.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
!’
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

"Vaporized?!" squeaked Emmet, for vaporization had not been on his list of things he was prepared to deal with in this quest. The small gaggle of surface dwellers crowded around the door as they argued about what to do, voices echoing in the crystalline space until they had become distorted into a sort of funky, psychedelic tune.  Finally, mustache bristling with impatience, Madi yelled for quiet, forgetting to disguise her voice, then promptly harrumphed in a gruff manner.

"We can't very well go back, when right here is a door to the very thing we seek!" She glared at each person in turn, only becoming slightly distracted when she noticed Emmet fidgeting nervously with his marvelous hair. There was no way that they could turn around now, not when they were so close to that supernaturally soft volcanic ash and the fabulous new life that would buy her. The sailors all slowly conceded the point, mainly because there really it was the least worst option they had at the moment.

Taking a deep breath to steady herself the young handsomely mustached maid took hold of the door handle, and yanked open the door. A thick orange fog rolled out, spilling eagerly from its confines. It smelled of peppermint and caused a fit of coughing among those closest to the door. When finally it cleared they all peered into the door, both dreadful and curious of what lie beyond. None of them were prepared for the sight that greeted them beyond. A long hallway carpeted with plush, finely woven rugs ran into the distance. It was well lit with tasteful crystal chandeliers that hung from the ceiling at regular intervals, the walls were finely painted and buttressed into the sculpted ceiling panels. Rococo style paintings in ridiculously elaborate guilt frames burdened the walls above spindly legged tables that seemed to delicate to support the bowls of almost too perfect fruit that sat on them.

For long moments all they could do was sit and stare. 
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Boatman

It was Emmet who, peeping nervously round from behind Madi’s defensive stance, broke the party’s deadlocked thoughts. “I, Sir Emmet, a brave knight of the realm, handsome to boot, will sacrifice myself by covering the group’s rear from danger allowing others to press on towards our goal.”

Madi, touched by Emmet’s offer, approached the knight and gave him a reassuring hug whispering tenderly through her macho dangling moustache, “Yes pet, I wouldn’t want you in danger at the front. I’d never forgive myself.”
Then Madi turned her attention to the whole group and raised an arm. “ We’re going in... Follow me.”

But the advance was only short lived, for no sooner had Madi and a few others entered the hallway when a gnarled hunchbacked maid stepped out from the shadows to confront the party.
“Hoy you lot, where do you think you are going? This is private, so clear off!”

Madi noticed the badge on the the maid’s arm and went over to show her own. “You are a fellow member of the cleaners’ guild. Pleased to meet you. We’re not here to cause trouble, just to collect a bit of ash.”
The woman’s face fell almost doing herself a mischief. “I was beautiful like you once,” she admitted sorrowfully, “But then I became addicted to the ash... I’ve tried to come off it, but now I have to take it just to live. If you are determined though, I have a drawer full over here.”
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

Madi weighed the old woman's words in her head, addicted to ash? Such a strange thing. Undeterred she followed as the other woman walked ahead, leaving the sailors gathered round the door, Emmet's glorious golden locks just barely visible behind them. Her fate was ahead of her though, if she wished to marry the prince and be ruler of the realm, she had only to go with the old woman and retrieve the ash. Mind churning with the improbability that she could be so conflicted so close to the finish line she stepped into the small room, decorated in matching fashion to the hallway.

In the room, was a highboy dresser that perched on spindly, unhappy looking legs. The crone pulled a chair up to the highboy and with joints groaning in protest clambered upon it. Slowly, reverently she slid the top drawer open, looking down at its contents utterly rapt.

"Excuse me, do you need help getting that down?" the young maid girl inquired, stepping forward to assist.
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Boatman

Just then Emmet appeared at Madi’s shoulder with the Captain and the mysterious Bos’n behind them. It was getting crowded but no one seemed too bothered.

Emmet flicked back his luscious hair and waited for admiring glances before announcing, “This is a job for a knight. I will take the risk of climbing up to those considerable heights to recover the prize.” His mind was racing, imagining the painting of the moment when he, Sir Emmet, had bravely plucked the Holy Grail, or in this case ash, from its filigree casket, or in this case an old drawer.

Emmet pushed through and clambered up rather shakily still imagining how the painting of his triumph would be on display, set a golden frame for all to see as he took his vows with the prince. ‘No… that wasn’t right… He wanted Madi... No… NO!’

The knight wobbled precariously with one hand gripping the drawer which was itself sliding out.
The Captain growled, “Ah, that looks as unsteady as a pissed tar.”
The Bosun added, “But not as unsteady as some I’ve seen.”

Everyone took a step back as Emmet fell and was covered from head to toe in the ash.
The old crone creaked her gnarled head sadly from side to side.
“He’s a goner, unless....”
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

"Unless you can get him to the mouth of the volcano and make a sacrifice to the fiery god who lives there," the crone continued after an necessarily long pause for dramatic effect. Madi, who was quite upset by the whole turn of events looked upon the fallen Emmet and her mustached twitched furiously.

"Yes of course!" she cried, desperate to undo whatever horrific process had begun. "Anything."

"I'm afraid its not that simple," the old woman said, wagging a gnarled finger. "The god of this infernal mountain is very particular and will only except a fresh faced young maiden as tribute. She must jump willingly into his molten embrace where she will burst into flames and be consumed." Madi reeled in shock at the gristly turn her fate would take if she chose to save the knight with his petable hair. "Oh one more thing," the aged ash-fiend added, "You also need a bottle of spiced rum, a bottle of ginger ale, and one of those little cocktail umbrellas, to make him his favorite drink, otherwise he won't even see you."

How was she going to get all those things here, already in the bowels of the volcano she wondered. Was she really willing to fling herself to a fiery death for Emmet? Was it worth saving his glistening locks if her fingers no longer existed to stroke them? She didn't know the answers, but she had no time to consider, whatever she was going to do must be done now.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Boatman

The pile of ash seemed quite considerable for the size of the drawer that had contained it. Some magic perhaps? Or maybe lots had seeped round the back over the years and now joined the cascade to freedom. Whatever the reason, the place where Emmet had fallen now looked like a superficial burial mound. But then, two beautifully long lashed lids opened sweeping away grey dust to reveal wild looking eyes at the head end.

Emmet jumped up, ash clinging to him, and looked desperately from person to person complaining, “Look at my hair, it’s all dirty.” And then seeing their expressions, he whined, “You know something awful, don’t you?”
Madi stepped forwards to console him and tell him her plan. But he took fright and with arms stretched out in front of him ran around screaming, “I DON’T WANT TO DIE!”

The Captain, more or less oblivious to the party’s current predicament, squinted at the map and declared, “There be a tourist shop down that there be corridor where we can get the glass and ginger ale. Then I’ve a cocktail umbrella packed in my boot for emergencies. As far as the rum be concerned though, I’ve run out, so we’ll need to stop by at there be shrine to Bacchus Ischyrós. But problem there be. He and drink be encircled by ten solid Roman feet of stone and our chisels be thee lost in it be last rowing boat.”
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

Madi sighed, listening to the Captain's words with a heavy heart, worrying that excavating the shrine would take up too much time, even with the proper tools. "Perhaps they will have pick axes or maybe some dynamite at the gift shop as well." It wasn't terribly likely, but the stout-hearted maid was not ready to throw in the towel. Gathering all of her courage, and a large sackful of ash off the floor, she decided to do what needed to be done.

They made a trip to the gift shop, searching its small confines was quick with all the sailors to help, and even though they left with quite a bit more than they came to buy, (Horace had to have the volcano snowglobe for his collection and Geoff needed new shoe laces, etc...) they had no luck finding tools with which to cut through the thick rock that protected the rum. The Captain, perceptive man that he was, sensed the heaviness of the young's mustached maid's countenance and started to offer words of comfort when Emmet, who had been growing ever more paranoid jumped in front of him and shoved a finger against one of the brass buttons on the Captain's coat. Third button from the top on the left to be exact.

"You there!" The Captain started to protest, but Emmet bent forward, addressing his words to the button. "Yes you! I see you there. You think your so sly, so sneaky, but I'm on to you!" The knight punctuated his words with a second poke and a flip of his hair. "Know that your plot will never succeed, for I Emmet, dashing and shimmering knight of the silken locks shall not allow it!"

Spoiler: Click to Show/Hide

Look, Emmet!  ;D Surprisingly like the actual character pictured.
Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3

Boatman

#98
“I’ve seen all this before said the shimmering Bos’n,” shaking his head sadly. “One victim became so mad I had to slip through a rock wall to escape him. I’m afraid you’ll have to tie Sir Emmet up, or perhaps down.”

“No need for that,” Madi said calmly resting her hand on Emmet’s shoulder before sliding it over for a quick squeeze. “I interrupted a big eared visiting professor of logic practicing this on himself in the mirror when I went to clean his room. He told me not to mention it in case I disrupted the space time continuum or something odd like that. I thought he was probably just a normally weirdo academic…until I gave the move a try on my brother er.. sister. By the way, I was just cleaning as a favour,”  Madi explained dropping her voice a few octaves as her moustache twitched uncontrollably.

Emmet sighed and flopped into Madi’s arms. She quickly put him down and shook the dust off herself.

The Captain slouched over to Madi and whispered with a wink that turned into five. “One other thing that maybe there you finding of interest young sir, is that I be there in my seabag havin’ a blow up woman in case of emergencies there be. As presently in our sadly found dire lack of totty. Jusin case, arrh. Also useful for practicin’ first aid.”


[Wow S, ... that is the dashingly brave Sir Emmet to a T]
History, where creative writing was born.

Dys Astyr

#99
Madi looked down at the prone form of the knight, mixed emotions knotting her stomach. Was she really prepared to do the unthinkable? In the greater scheme of things, whose life was more important? Sure Emmet was handsome and he had amazing, perfect hair but he was a bit dim, and she had big plans of changing the world. What would Emmet do with the prince by his side? Would he let the other man pet his sumptuous locks? The thought made her quite irrationally jealous and rather intrigued but before those tricky ideas could congeal into a distracting train of thought, a light bulb went off in her brain. After much blinking and mustache twitching she turned sharply to the Bos'n, ever present pipe clutched in his teeth.

"Say that again!" She demanded excitedly, fingers ticking together as if she was counting something.

"What, that you will have to tie up th-"

"No, not that part! Before that, about when this happened before." The mustached girl was shifting from one foot to the other, plan slowly coming together.

"Oh, about the fellow who went so off his rocker I slipped through a wall of stone? Well let me tell you, that's quite a-" The Bos'n was clearly fond of reminiscing and normally Madi would have obliged but at the moment didn't have the time.

"Could you do it again? Walk through a wall I mean, to get the rum?" Madi waited anxiously as the shimmering man considered her request, rubbing at his chin.

Meanwhile the button laughed in its silent button voice. For a moment things had looked dicey, but the fools remained none the wiser.

Alive! Trying to catch up but there is a lot, please be patient! Thank you. <3