Things you don't want to hear on the first date

Started by Phil66666, April 24, 2012, 10:25:06 AM

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Zaphod

Oh, I usually brush my teeth once a month.

Autumn52

May light guide you through your turmoil and may darkness never cross your path.

White Light be upon you if that is your wish

PigPin

I may or may not be shooting blanks care to find out?

Mordred

Do you have any itch cream in that purse? Myyyyyy god.. it's killing me.. right here in the groin. Hell.. if not.. gotta brush in there? That would feel heavenly. Ohhh, you have nice sharp nails. Would you mind?
*See Pillory*

Rinzler

And the really great thing about me is that my foreskin is so long, I can tie a knot in it and not have to worry about rubbers. Good, eh!

TheLegionary


mishi

Sorry I have to go, I think I just sharted.... unless you are ok with it?
She left behind small traces of her time on Earth, visible only to those who know where to look.

TheLegionary


mishi

That's ok, I live by the sewage treatment plant so I am use to it.
She left behind small traces of her time on Earth, visible only to those who know where to look.

PigPin

What has two thumbs and is getting laid tonight? *points thumbs to himself* THIS GUY

wiccaangel311

You look much better without the curtains framing you

mishi

She left behind small traces of her time on Earth, visible only to those who know where to look.

Bloodied Porcelain

I just found out this morning that I'm pregnant! Isn't that great?!
I want no ordinary lover. I want a storm. I want sleepless nights and endless conversations at four a.m. I want passion, I want madness.
I want someone who's able to make my whole body shiver from a distance and also pull me close to make sense of all my bones.

~ Bizarre, Beautiful, And Breathtaking ~
~ O/O ~ Seeking ~ A/A ~ Mirrors and Masks ~ Poetry ~
She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like wings.

shooter6806

I've got 3-month refills on my psych meds.
Youth, exuberance, and enthusiasm are no match for age, experience, and treachery.

Alcohol, tobacco, and firearms.  Should be a convenience store, not a federal agency.

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks nothing worth a war, is worse.... A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself.

Caitlin

I'm only dating you because my mother forced me to.

Kirce

- "Do you use the Three-Date Rule? Because I rather skip it with you."

- "Uh huh?"

Caitlin

"Woa the girl (/boy) behind you looks way hotter than you do!"


Kirce


Adammair

Wanna play 'house'? You can be the front door and I'll slam you.

Kirce

- So later tonight when you invite me to go inside your apartment...

TheLegionary

Would you mind brushing your teeth next time?

Adammair

Quote from: Kirce on May 26, 2012, 12:23:54 PM
- So later tonight when you invite me to go inside your apartment...

*was actually thinking of almost that exact same thing, before I posted my last post. ;D Great minds think alike, Kirce!*

mishi

You know what?! I actually shit glitter today!
She left behind small traces of her time on Earth, visible only to those who know where to look.

Kirce

Quote from: Adammair on May 26, 2012, 12:30:15 PM
*was actually thinking of almost that exact same thing, before I posted my last post. ;D Great minds think alike, Kirce!*

Highfive!! :)

Another one: "So just how experienced you really are?"