Breakup with the person above you!

[aquinaann]

Summer, my dearest apologies my love, but the warm breeze that once touched my heart has gone cold.  I'm afraid that our time together has come to an end.  Ever since that time in Santa's workshop, I've been doubting your loyalty to me.  I'm really sorry, but I must go.  I've got someone waiting for me.

[Villain]

Sigh... my dear. I knew this day would come. And I'm sorry that it has to be during the festive holidays, but Christmas is a time of honesty and good will. So with that in mind I need to tell you straight.... I have no freaking clue how to pronounce your name. What, is it ack-in-narn or ac-in-aan or ack-in-an? Either way, I can't put up with this any more. How am I supposed to introduce you to my friends at dinner parties? I think we can both agree this madness has gone on long enough. So... it's over ack...aqua...ac....acoo....aqu.... sweetie.

[Ariel]

My love, you know how much I love being with the bad guys. I mean, the bad boy rebels that show up at your door, wating to take you to prom while your parents flip at the sight of his rugged looks and lack of proper attire? That's the sexiest thing ever and I love it. But, you see.. You're just not cutting it for me. You never go out and rob a bank anymore, or kill people for shits and giggles. See, I met someone who does do that. Loki. He's batshit crazy but I love him dearly. I'm leaving you for him. So sorry, dear, hope you don't convert to being a goody two shoes.

Lots of love. xx

[Adammair]

My darling Uprising, although you look absolutely stunning, you create such an uprising in my pants, that I am unable to bear the constant pressure. *shakes his head slowly and sighs softly* I must leave you. I hope you can find someone who is better for you than I am.

[Moraline]

Dear Adam,

I tried to wait it out and was patient for so long but I have needs. Needs that aren't being met. Your premature ejaculation thing is just too much. It's been going on since we started dating. We haven't actually had sex once. There's a song by a group called Lonely Island. It's your theme song - "Jizz In My Pants."

I'll leave you with your music now. So long and good luck with your little... um... issue.

~ Moraline

[Proud Geek]

Sweet Moraline,


I tried, I really did. Hey I enjoy kinks like the next guy but I won't wear a dress every time you want to be intimate. It's getting unnerving and that comment about starting to like it, you better keep to yourself. I just can't do this anymore. I hope you find what you are looking for.


-Proud Geek

[Funguy81]

I'm having sex with your sister.  Sorry.  :'(

[Adammair]

I'm sorry, but you're just such a fun guy, I can't even begin to compare with your sheer awesomeness. I have to go. Don't try to stop me.

[Mingnon]

Dearest Adam,

I'm afraid it can't work out between us. For one... I'm not sure how to say this, but you're considered a wild cat in a way. I'm afraid people would look down on a relationship between us. However I hope you can understand and find the raw pork I left in the fridge.

Lovingly,

Mingnon

[Villain]

Mingnon, the Godforsaken princess.

My love there was a time when that sent shivers down my spine and made my non-existent skin tremble with delight, but no more. You seen I'm looking for someone who can climb ladders. Someone that can't accept being anything less than empress of the entire world. And frankly having your royal guards drag me out of bed at night to service your needs was becoming a little inconvenient.

I'll always love you in a way, please don't bother looking for me, I fled the country after sending this note fearing that you might do a sort of village burning vengeance crusade against me after you read it.

Goodbye, Villain

[SummerWhispers]

I am sorry  to have to bring this up so  soon, but well you know my season is coming up soon, and we both know you do not like  the heat or the beach. And that is where I thrive, and am oh so happy. And the little night life I do enjoy is on the boardwalk for a bit in the evenings.


So I am afraid I am going to have to move on and end this now, I know you kept me warm in the chill of winter, but I have to look to the future, and find a partner who truly wants to bask in the heat of the summer, one who will enjoy my daily whispering messages.

[Tharic]

SummerWhispers,

I'm sorry but this just isn't working out. You never whisper me any more, in any season. I feel like all you're doing is whispering others. I just can't deal with this any more, we're finished..

Rolin

[Mordred]

Sorry man but.. on you, the water beads look cool. On me? Looks like the ink is constantly running. I get funny looks.. hey, don't laugh. I get even stranger looks than normal. Plus, now that I'm trying to veer away from making a blue mess wherever I go, having a constant pool of water-colors under my feet.. just isn't helping. Soooo.. I 'spose this is it. Later, my friend. Maybe in a few decades.. once you've gotten over your beaded water thing.. yeah. Although you are human, aren't you? You'll age. Ah hell.. later.

[Mingnon]

Sweet Mordred,

I'm sorry it can't work out. I know you have a think for having paint on you, but it keeps getting everywhere. I had to replace the sheets for the third time this week. In short, I'm not sure I have the budget to deal with a man with your... tastes.

Apologetically,

Mingnon.

[Ariel]

My dearest Mingnon.

While I have spent a blessed few years in your company, eating food and snuggling by the fireplace, it has come to my attention that I have spent over a million dollars. Why, you may ask? I have to constantly wash my clothes and buy lint rollers. But what would I need those for? Because your gazillion cats just love to climb over my sexy body, and sleep in our bed, and roam through my closet. Now, I was able to ignore these dreadful abnormalities, but you just bought twenty Persian cats yesterday and, well.. I think you need help. I've left an envelope for you on the kitchen table, with the divorce papers and a number for a psychiatrist.

I have to go. Don't bother finding me, I just bought two guard dogs. Lots of love. xx

[ebpohmr]

Oh, what horrible times we found ourselves living in, dear Uprising, such very horrible times indeed. And why are the times so horrible? Well, light of my life, I fear that the time has come to sever this loving bond between us. Please believe me when I say that the problem isn't with you. How could it be, you're perfect.

While even the most lustrous of pearls still requires the imperfect intrusion of a grain of sand within the oyster, I have come to understand that I am far too flawed to continue as the companion of your heart. Like a torn oyster shell, I cannot provide the environment needed to turn the seed of our love into a pearly orb such that would rival the very moon in wonder and beauty.

So yet again do I say what horrible times we find ourselves in that I must set you free to seek a better love.

Be happy, my love.

[lenka]

Well damn!
You say your there and you never are!
I call you and to no avail...your not there!
Surprise! surprise!
Your never there so I am now banging your brother!
Get over it because I am over you!

[Mordred]

Lenka..
Please, luscious one.. be careful. Hear the sounds of those things rolling along at your feet? They are completely real. They are my marbles.. for I have absolutely lost them with this sudden need to break up with you. I had reasons! Damn.. I had a whole list of ridiculous little why's and what's.. but now I get near your succulent self, like always, and all I wanna do is what I always need and crazily lust to do..

So yeah.. that's me out in the back, chained to the tree. I'm waiting for the sun. It's my only way out. Please don't untie me. Although if you wanna come out and rub that sweet body against mine and let me slide these fangs deep inside one last time, I sooooo won't complain.

Goodbye, my gorgeous one..
'Dred

[SummerWhispers]

Well bad one...the summer season is soon to be upon us yet again. I practiced how I was going to tell you this, and now that the time has come...well I have to admit I am having second thoughts, I mean you do love the night. And I love the, well it is well known what I love, the bright warm sun.


*sighs* but then there is the nights spent together, but no....I need someone to help  me with the warm oil, to spread on my back when I lay  on the beach, without this I will have dry skin.


So I am going to have to end this...and search for one to join me in the upcoming warm summer season. Who knows I may come knocking on your box some night....to get you to help me with...ah.

[Moraline]

Dearest Summer,

I've thought about this a great deal and have come to a conclusion. Your too sexy to not share you with the world. So, I'm breaking up with you. Now don't be sad. I still find you very attractive and I want to have sex with you frequently but your too good for me to keep you all to myself.

I'm setting you free my beautiful goddess. Be free and share your love!

Yours
~ Moraline

PS: I'll pop around about 11pm for a quick shag. See you then. Lots of love! Ta Ta <3

[Falstaff]

Moraline,

You always look so awesome and the sex is always great!  The only sex we haven't had yet is breakup sex...so...

I am breaking up with you.

See you in the bedroom.

[Moraline]

My sweet Falstaff,

That breakup sex was so great I figure we should have make up sex but first I want to have some more of that other stuff.

So... I'm breaking up with you.  Now get your pants back off and get back in the room with me.

Yours,
~ Moraline 

PS: Don't forget the make up sex afterwards and I put a little bottle of blue pills on the end table for you just in case you need some help keeping up.

[SummerWhispers]

Ok about  the shag, send me a text first so I will be awake to let you in.


I can not believe you would share me with others, that is it I am done with you,  with the exceptions of the late night shags. I am off to find a mate who wants me all to themselves. I certainly am not willing to share my mate with others, it is me or others, that is my policy.


Sorry, but I have to feel as if I am truly yours and yours alone. Bye.

[Falstaff]

Summer,

My breakup with Moraline was only temporary...so while the sex was great that you shared with me, she wants to have make up sex now.

So I have to break it off with you, to go make up with her.

First, *he carries her to the bedroom* breakup sex is awesome!

[SummerWhispers]

Oh, no....none of that break up stuff for you, my friend. I have had enough of you and Moraline always going from one to another then back to me. That is it, I am off to find a mate who is going to stay around for more than a couple of days.


*walks out the door singing, a Kid Rock song, All Summer Long*