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The Stupid Joke Thread

Started by Inkidu, October 26, 2008, 08:14:25 PM

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Beauty

*giggles* Yay for variants on jokes!
~x I've been absent for a few years, but I'm back and ready to start new stories! I've refined my writing skills and fixated on new desires/interests - Looking forward to being inspired ;)*X~

My O/O


mannik

Quote from: Inkidu on November 16, 2008, 06:25:08 PM
That one with the monkey was just wrong on so many levels

I thought that was the point of this thread.

Inkidu

Quote from: mannik on November 16, 2008, 07:53:21 PM
I thought that was the point of this thread.
There's a thin line between stupid, and... the monkey. :D
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Inkidu

The word used to just be ronic but then Steve Jobs got a hold of it.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

mannik

Apple has begun development on the new IBreast, which is a revolutionary new breast implant containing two speakers that stream music from an IPod that plugs directly into the implant via a jack on the surface of the skin.

Apple explains that development on this project began after getting numerous e-mails about men always staring at their breasts instead of listening to them.

------

There...how's that? Stupid enough for you?

Inkidu

If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

mannik

Quote from: Inkidu on November 16, 2008, 08:09:57 PM
I was just joking man.
I know...just figured I'd add a joke that wasn't so....how did you put it?...wrong...

Jarl Tiberius

Two of the managers from different departments meet up at a lunch, After dinner, Austin says to Jack "Well Jack, I don't know what you think of your employees, but mine are all bright and brilliant."

"How do you know?" asks Jack "Oh well, it's simple", says Austin. "They all have to take special tests. Wait a second".

Austin calls Peter over and asks him "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Ah, that's simple", says Peter, "it is me!" "Well done Peter", says Mark, Jack is very impressed and wonders about the intelligence of the employees.

He calls in his favourite employee and asks "Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister? " The employee thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit further Sir? May I let you know tomorrow? ". "Of course", says Jack, "You've got 24 hours."

The poor employee goes away, thinks as hard as he can, and calls everyone he knows but no luck. Eventually he says to himself "I'll ask Bill, he's clever, he'll know the answer." He calls Bill and says, "Tell me, who’s the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?" "Very simple", says Bill, "It's me!"

"Wonderful!" says the employee and hangs up. Jumping with joy realizing that he knows the answer, he rings Jack. "Sir, I've got the answer!".

"What is it?"

"It's Bill".

"No, you idiot", says Jack, "It's Peter".

Inkidu

Two doctors are in the hospital cafeteria eating an they're discussing that mornings clinic work. "I tell you things are just getting weirder as time goes on." says the first doctor.
"How so?" replies the second.
"I just treated a woman for athlete's foot of the vagina."
"What a coincidence I just treated a man for herpes of the big toe." 
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Lanzlo

Florence Nightingale, after a lifetime of dedicated service, is readily admitted into Heaven. As she's shown around, they encounter the cafeteria.

About that time, this short man with a full beard busts in. He cuts to the head of the line, argues with the cafeteria workers, loads up way more food than anyone else gets, and throws a handful of coins on to the counter.

Florence, of course, is horrified. "Who was that rude man," she asks of her angelic guide.

"Him? That's God. He thinks he's a doctor."

mannik

Why is a gun better than a wife?


You can put a silencer on a gun!

callmedib

What's the difference between a circus and a chorus line?

A circus is a cunning array of stunts.