Corrupt a wish

[FierceChaos]

Granted you finish it, but its so terrible the world bans books because of your work.


I wish I was not allergic to eggs.

[oceanspool]

Granted, you are now allergic to everything except eggs.

I wish magic (a-la-Harry Potter) was real!

[Boatman]

Granted, by magic you have been turned into a plastic Barbie doll with hair that grows.

I wish I was tall dark and handsome (or is that three wishes?).

[Beguile's Mistress]

Granted!  You are tall, dark and handsome but 50 feet all and everyone runs away and hides from, you can't find a comfortable place to sleep and there is never enough food to satisfy you.

I wish this stupid meeting I'm stuck in would hurry up and end.  I got stuff to do.

[Mercurio123]

Granted, the meeting end, but the conclusion of the meeting is that you need to do all the work they decided on so you end up doing over time to just get all that done without getting time for the other stuff you needed to do.

I wish I had realised those new sun glasses I ordered had to come from Hongkong.

[Vill]

Granted, but you no longer have eyes.

I wish there was a way to think words and have your translator monkey type them.

[Mercurio123]

granted, but the invasive procedure leaves paralysed and unable to communicate in any other way. Also the monkey keeps flinging excrement at you for forcing it to type for you.

I wish it would cool down just a few degrees here.

[Boatman]

Granted, but you find you cannot get out of the freezer once entered.

Eye wish i could right propper.

[Mercurio123]

Granted, you now write ever so neat and proper when given pen and paper. your spelling and grammar are still rubbish though.

I wish next Sunday my archery goes just as well as this Sunday went

[Luvan95]

Granted, but somebody else archery skills suffer and you take an arrow to the knee.

I wish my laptop was working again.

[Boatman]

Granted, turn it off and on again and the laptop will work but only in Chinese.

I wish I was good at running.

[Enthelya]

Granted, but you suddenly forget how to walk.

I wish I had better reflexes.

[Boatman]

Granted, ouch. Ouch again. Stop doing that twitching!

I wish I could sing without people covering their ears.

[oceanspool]

Granted, people will now cover their ears when you speak instead.

I wish I had an iPad.

[Boatman]

You don't really want an iPad do you?
Oh, alright then wish granted. Just there is no Internet so it becomes worse than useless.

I wish I had an iPad.

[Euron Greyjoy]

Granted, but the iPad is broken,

I wish for another wish that cant be corrupted.

[Boatman]

Granted, you have been granted a wish to turn into an edible snail outside a French restaurant.

I wish I had a robot I could command to do useful jobs for me.

[Mikem]

Granted, however the robot was built to look like a Spartan, only recognizes Espanol and is named Lopez.

I wish for a bottle of female attracting pheromones.

[Boatman]

(Hmm... just what I wanted, thanks.)

Granted, the female rhinoceros is all over you, several times.

I wish I could wind time backwards as needed to get things right, but remembering what happened previously.

[Mikem]

Granted. However you're exposed to your past self, creating a temporal paradox which begins to rip the fabric of space time apart, annihilating the Universe.

I wish for those female Rhinos to be transformed into Anthropomorphic Humanoid female Rhinos.

[Mercurio123]

granted, they now look like female versions of Rocksteady.
http://th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2013/199/2/7/tmnt_rule_63_parade_rocksteady_by_chochi-d6e45ir.jpg
And the pheromones do not work on Anthropomorphic creatures.

I wish my mp3 player would last longer on its battery

[Luvan95]

Granted, but the only music it plays is your absolute least favorite kind.

I wish that I lived by myself.

[Rhedyn]

Granted but it doesn't take long before you feel lonely and miss having people sharing your space.

I wish I had a safe and working teleportation device.

[Translucent Bard]

Granted, but unfortunately it only moves you about three feet in a random direction.

I wish I could understand any language I heard.

[Boatman]

Granted, but you take everything the wrong way causing numerous fights.

I wish I could meet a friendly mermaid.