Corrupt a wish

[Delirium]

Granted.  Now, battery assault rates have skyrocketed.

I wish I could speak German and English fluently.

[sleepingferret]

Granted, now the entire world speaks Spanish and no one can understand you.  So you are ostracized.

I wish that politics returned to being about the best interests of the people.  Not the interests of the wealthy, or select few.  That our government actually did what it was supposed to do, not only protect its citizenry but govern in a manner which protected the people's rights and served it's people's best interests.

[Divine Drivel]

Granted. But just as the new and very pristine government is being sworn into office, the planet imploded and we all perish.

I wish Howard Stern will change his ways.

[Sybl]

Wish Granted, but only until he had second thoughts.

I wish I had a new broom.

[Mordred]

Granted. For you see, once upon a time, a silly mouse brandishing a wand zapped a spell and this one broom sprouted into dozens. But while most were giving the poor rodent hell, one hopped out the window and made it's way over the hills and through various obstacles until.. you found this naughty stick with bristles in your cheeky little hands. I won't go into the gory details but by the end of the day, it had you tied in your attic, torturing your little toes with the ends of it's wiry brush. I hope you have a Snickers tucked away in a pocket for yeahhhh, you ain't goin' anywhere for a while.

I wish I knew what it was all about. Everything! Even at the expense of my wee bit of sanity.

[Emmeline]

And with your newfound wisdom comes the burden of trying to enlighten everyone of what you've learned. However, no one listens. It's fine you're a little too crazy to care. You might think your little tirades are harmless but society grows weary and throws in a jail where you befriend a bunny. The bunny is also enlightened like you. You have long discussions and talk philosophy. However, the bunny doesn't have he mental fortitude as you do. One day you find him hanging from the ceiling.

I wish I had a smart pet bunny.

[Mordred]

Granted! Yet.. as this crazy universe of ours does so work in mysterious ways.. at the very moment those lovely eyes wished this thought.. elsewhere, a slightly mad vampire covered in blue smudges thought to himself.. "Huh.. I wonder what it'd be like to be a furry little bunny? After all Bugs had it made, yeah?"... and with a little toss of the cosmic dice, the forces that be made your wish.. so. A little scratch upon your door and there you have it.. the cutest bundle of blue fur you've ever seen. *in any mode.. can't help but be adorable* Into your arms, it (I) jumped.. instantly gnawing playfully upon that deliciously soft neck. Phew.. do you have your hands full now! *adorable yet extremely naughty* Once it turns dark.. and little blue thumper starts gettin' those raging thirsts.. You are safe.. the bunny adores you.. but your neighbors.. friends.. family.. life does become quite difficult. Sorry. And yeah.. you start to wake with those inevitable little wounds on that sweet neck. *lowers head in shame* Sorry.

I wish the sun were blue.

[yoniek]

Granted. The sun turns blue, making the world look differently. Everything gets this great blue veil over it, People and especially the women have, when the sun shines a blue shine over them. Even the trees look blueish. But when you walk around in this world and look around you you cannot see it. Because when the sun changed its colour you were so amazed with it you stared into the sun too long. And by the time it was blue...you were blind...

I wish I can eat everything I wanted without getting fat!!

[SummerWhispers]

Granted, but everything you eat, makes you weigh less and less until........

I wish it was summer time again, with the tropical heat and sandy beaches

[Jalynn6]

Granted! But on the first warm day of summer, a storm off the coast turns into a freak hurricane and destroys all the beaches near you!

I wish I would stop hurting my fingertips at work.. :(

[yoniek]

Granted. In order to don't feel the pain you don't feel anything with your fingers now. And not being able to feel anything you cannot do a thing with them at all.


I wish I didn't have to make dinner tonight!

[crismonrose]

Granted.... but whoever is making the dinner.... is not making something you hate

I wish I could ride a horse

[Jalynn6]

Granted, but with the ability to ride a horse you loose the ability to walk! 

I wish my boyfriend would pay more attention to me..

[DeadCell]

Granted, but he pays so much attention to you that he stalks you everywhere, work, home, out with friends you name it and he is there watching you.

I wish I had a steady income.

[Emmeline]

Your wish is granted, congratulations on the steady one dollar a month you'll be receiving from now on!

I wish the world would stop for just one moment to realize how ridiculous everyone is being to each other.

[Jalynn6]

Granted but when the worlds stop- every has about a second to realize this epiphany before disasters start happening due to the halting of the earth's turning!

I wish the temperature outside would be exactly 67 degrees F. everyday at my latitude and within 20 degrees of my latitude for the rest of the 2000's.

[Tachi]

Granted, but there is no rain and the plants/crops die off.

I wish life wasn't so hard.

[Mordred]

Granted.. but now that pulsating flow that surrounds us, called life, licks it's devious chops as it becomes so soft, everything starts to vanish as it sucks us within it's mushy being.. until nothing exists.. and it seeks the next quivering dimension to consume.

I wish I had no reason to wish.

[Emmeline]

With not wants and no needs, you would think you will live a happy and care-free life. However, that's not the case. True you do not need a reason to wish, but people do not have a reason wish things from you either. You're not needed and everyday, you become more aware of your uselessness to others. Your phone no longer rings, mail stops coming. You'll truly be forgotten.

Also, I stole your car and crashed it into the penguin exhibit.

I wish that when you die, you can relive your life conscious of the mistake you've done before.

[Mordred]

Granted. And soon, the world is self-entertained. Virtual reality from within the mind.. 3-D at it's best. Of countless prior lives, fantasy becomes reality. Ahhh, but with this built-in surround sound and fantastic ability to replay and see things from the far past, people cease trying to make new memories.. and the land fills with memory-junkies. The world wastes away.

And you, lovely little thief.. you are stricken with soooo much guilt from swiping my car. And those poor penguins. Yeahhh.. each time you hit adulthood.. guess what fanged creature will be waiting with a tuxedo-wearing bird under each arm?

I wish some friendly aliens would visit Earth and show us how the rest of the galaxy throws a party.

[Kazuume]

Granted but the overly friendly aliens, in their zeal for fun, destroy your house, have sex with your dog, eat all your blue jello, and pee in your coffin.


I wish I could remember what I did five minutes ago....

[Mordred]

Granted. Now you are in this bizarre loop that keeps your mind stuck on 5-minutes ago.. yet.. soon, all you can remember is what you were remembering.. which.. was what you were remembering.. and so on. But worry not. Soon, you are sent to the mountains of the Pacific Northwest of North America.. where a clinic is specializing on this very condition. The Dr, a strange creature that only visits after dark.. and seems slightly disheveled.. smokes a cigar that emits indigo smoke.. and looks as if he's been in a paintball fight. He will take very good care of you.

I wish I never needed to sleep ever again.

[Sybl]

Granted. You are dead. Oops, sorry.

I wish I could grant you another wish. :P

[Mordred]

Granted. And that wish of mine is that this wish that you grant and that I wish, is a continual groundhog-type-cycle that ends up rocking the universe in a way that everything becomes like a giant cosmic smoothie.. pinkish in color.. but not strawberry in flavor. More like.. licorice. Yeah.. for it's not commonly known but.. the stuff of space does have that flavor. *clings onto a bit of ice as something in the pink froth grabs hold of his foot*

I wish to find a cool little lamp containing a sexy little genie.. who absolutely adores me.

[Sybl]

Wish granted. Sadly she dies of boredom. :P

I wish I had more time.