Why are some role players just not nice people?

[VoluptuousVixen]

Hey guys, ive been thinking....really why do some role players feel the need to pre judge people and be rather hurtful?
I don't get this I really don't.

Has anyone else experienced this?
If so how do you deal with it????

It is actually a form of Cyber bullying when you sit and think about it.
Ironically the conflicts I've had are from other women, but that's just my own experience.
Its very frustrating when all you want to do is have fun and contribute to a game.

I know myself Im not perfect and sometimes act very rashly.
So I know ive got my own stuff to deal with but some of these role players act like complete C**ts.
But again...im NOT talking about Elliquy, rather private run forums.   

What im talking about has just happened to me on another forum.
All I did was request to join another group and I was torn to shreds. Criticised by one mod and the other refused to speak to me.
It does make me at times want to give up rping all together.

Its supposed to be FUN and a GAME and yet some people get so up their own asses.
GRRRRRRRR it makes me mad and then it makes me sad.

What I like about Elliquiy is that bullying here is not tolerated.
So I guess I want to say a big thank you to all the MODS and GM`S here at Elliquiy.
You give us as members a lot of freedom but you do reign us in if we get too far off the beaten track.

:D o thank you.
 

[Beguile's Mistress]

I'm sorry you had to deal with something like that and happy it wasn't here. 

I've visited other sites and truthfully found some that are great but some that are just total wastes of time.  Stick around here and just pretend those others don't exist. :-)

[MasterMischief]

So sorry you had to deal with that, louis.  I stopped going to another forum because of the min/maxing.  I guess I was lucky not to have to deal with the kind of drama you did.

[Revelation]

It comes in from a combination of some people just being assholes, and cliques forming on RP sites. Cliques can get really, really selective about who or what they play with, and can quickly ostracize people they're not interested in.

[Jaded]

I've had my physical appearance insulted during table top gaming (for no reason other than they thought it was funny as far as I can tell), some people are just assholes.  When it comes to online stuff, reactions are exaggerated and clichés/like-minded communities tend to form in my experience.  I've seen people react in an irrational (and borderline insane) manner after being reported for blatantly violating site rules on another forum.

Only way to really deal with it is to remove yourself from the situation in my opinion.  You aren't going to change them, and unless you want to join them (so to speak), it is better to just find another/better site.

[Shjade]

Why are some role players just not nice people?

Some people are just not nice people.

Regardless of how they spend their recreation time, you'll find jerks everywhere. It's one of those unavoidable things you just have to deal with now and then. :|

[alextaylor]

I find some of them get a bit too far into the roleplaying. Some people have a preset ending in mind for their characters and just hate it when your character gets in the way. Some of them have problems separating the character and player. This can really suck for games like Armageddon MUD where most characters are assholes and the players spend way too much time playing assholes. The OOC/IC line is crossed a lot for games on forums because there's not a lot of time given to get into (or out of) character.

And I find quite a few sub/dom relationships like this. NSFW

A lot of roleplayers are also incredibly passionate (read:emotional) people.

[Revelation]

I find some of them get a bit too far into the roleplaying. Some people have a preset ending in mind for their characters and just hate it when your character gets in the way. Some of them have problems separating the character and player. This can really suck for games like Armageddon MUD where most characters are assholes and the players spend way too much time playing assholes. The OOC/IC line is crossed a lot for games on forums because there's not a lot of time given to get into (or out of) character.

And I find quite a few sub/dom relationships like this. NSFW

A lot of roleplayers are also incredibly passionate (read:emotional) people.

Can I just state how much I love this comic? I have lost count how many times i've used that specific oglaf comic as a reference.

[Love And Submission]

Some people are just not nice people.

Regardless of how they spend their recreation time, you'll find jerks everywhere. It's one of those unavoidable things you just have to deal with now and then. :|

I refuse to believe this! Call it false optimism but their has to be some recreation where there are no jerks.

How about Cat fishing? Like  hanging a fishing pole outside your window with a fish on it trying to catch orphan cats to adopt them.

How many jerks can their be in that recreational activity? What about Ostrich Racing? Ostrich racing has to be  jerk free! I want to believe!

[Nico]

I am sorry that you had to experiences such awful things.

Whenever I hear terrible things about other places, I am so glad that I am on E. We are an awesome place. ;D

[Shjade]

I refuse to believe this! Call it false optimism but their has to be some recreation where there are no jerks.

How about Cat fishing? Like  hanging a fishing pole outside your window with a fish on it trying to catch orphan cats to adopt them.

How many jerks can their be in that recreational activity? What about Ostrich Racing? Ostrich racing has to be  jerk free! I want to believe!

I...this is sarcasm, right? I can't quite tell. >.>

[Love And Submission]

I...this is sarcasm, right? I can't quite tell. >.>

Depends on the definition of sarcasm. Sarcasm  as in something said ironically then no. Sarcasm as in something said for humorous effect then perhaps?

[Shjade]

I meant it in the ironic use, yes. So if you're not stating those activities as ironic examples of opportunities to not contain jerks, I have to say I think a game based around the concept of teasing animals with food out of their reach sounds like the kind of game only jerks would play, and most animal races are popularly held up for being frequented by unsavory types as well.

[Blythe]

I'm really sorry to hear you've had bad experiences on other forums, loislanekent.  :-\ Whenever I hear about someone being treated badly on another forum, I get pretty grateful for Elliquiy.

[Love And Submission]

I meant it in the ironic use, yes. So if you're not stating those activities as ironic examples of opportunities to not contain jerks, I have to say I think a game based around the concept of teasing animals with food out of their reach sounds like the kind of game only jerks would play, and most animal races are popularly held up for being frequented by unsavory types as well.

Yeah...Taking things a bit too seriously their  , buddy. Also , Most Animals race are popularly held  up for being frequented by unsavory types? I'm pretty sure The Kentucky Derby would disagree with you. As would  The Preakness and  Belmont  and properly the  Iditarod for good measure.


Seriously my mom watches the Kentucky Derby and I highly doubt a fifty year old retired hospital  secretary  is   what you would classify as an unsavory type.

[VoluptuousVixen]

Elliquiy is by far the best forum out there for this kind of role playing.
Im appalled to hear about  Jadeds table top experience, that gets me so mad.
but im grateful w have this as a safe place to be.

Much love to you all and thanks for letting me vent. xxxx 

[Oniya]

I meant it in the ironic use, yes. So if you're not stating those activities as ironic examples of opportunities to not contain jerks, I have to say I think a game based around the concept of teasing animals with food out of their reach sounds like the kind of game only jerks would play, and most animal races are popularly held up for being frequented by unsavory types as well.

The fishing game is one of Gemini's favorites.  She's been known to drag the rod and lure up the stairs when she's bored at night.  (We know this because we find the rod part still leaning off the top step with the lure on the top landing.)  ;D

[consortium11]

I think there's certainly truth in saying that as long as there are people willing to pre-judge others and be rather hurtful there will be roleplayers willing to pre-judge others and be rather hurtful. Roleplayers are, after all (despite frequent assertions to the contrary) people to and as such we reflect society; expecting any hobby to be isolated from the wider world is somewhat naive.

That said, as someone who's (thankfully) never really been involved in any serious roleplaying drama it does seem that roleplay in general and online-roleplay in particular gets a lot of it... and often of the petty, hurtful variety.

There's a whole livejournal community dedicated to venting around bad roleplaying... and much of that relates to the players simply not being nice. If you want to waste a few hours losing faith in roleplayers and perhaps the human race, feel free to read that... some of the stories are fairly entertaining and there are some rather impressive flame wars (many of the "You say we're not a welcoming community? Well, we never liked you anyway!" variety which makes me smile).

So why is this the case?

Already keeping in mind the first point (as long as there are not nice people in the world there will be not nice roleplayers), online roleplay does seem to have some aspects that heighten the drama.

First is the fact it's online. While Jaded's example of being abused in person are horrific as a general rule people are far more likely to be insulting and abusive behind the supposed shield of anonymity that being online presents. In pretty much every community people are far more likely to be insulting and aggressive online then they would be face to face.

Secondly, IC and OOC getting blurred can be a real issue. As roleplayers we tend to put some of ourselves into our characters and thus if we're not able to keep what's happening to us and what's happening to our characters separate the two can bleed into each other; a character insulting our character turns into one roleplayer personally insulting us etc etc. Thus in character drama (often a good thing) can become OOC drama (not a good thing) and things like a new character muscling in on an existing IC friendship or relationship get viewed as an OOC issue.

There's also the fact that some online roleplaying communities (often of the livejournal variety) are essentially built around a single game run by the owners/staff/moderators. Cliques will always form in life and there's nowhere to "escape" to within that community. Perhaps even worse, those owners/staff/mods can be very protective of their vision or version of a given game; anything that confronts their image tends to get looked at harshly.

[Shjade]

Yeah...Taking things a bit too seriously their  , buddy.

No, I really wasn't.

Frequented by unsavory types != only interesting to unsavory types. Perfectly nice people also have an interest in the races, but their presence no more invalidates that of those I mention than the reverse. But by all means, continue defensively misreading if you like.

[alextaylor]

Oh, there's a statement from legendary anime animator Miyazaki which might explain the phenomenon. He says that otakus are frustrating to deal with because they don't like to be around real people. The people who end up drawing anime are the people who like to imagine things that don't happen within reality.

Maybe roleplayers are like that? The people who roleplay like to imagine things that aren't real. But I think this applies more to the type who make Mary Sue style characters.

[Tyrhung]

I think some people are just not happy with who they are, and the only way they can really take their mind off of that is by tearing someone else down.

All the same, it's good to hear such a plethora of positive responses from the people on this site.   :-)

[Moon Hound Hati]

There's a lot of people on the Internet who are frustrated with their reallife, and for many of them roleplaying is their only escape from that frustration. So, if that little hidyhole is in any way threatened, they'll pretty much blow up in your face. I generally tell them to grow the fuck up. It's just a game, after all.

Speaking of games, I tend to get this sort of stuff while playing MMO's or other competitive online games. It can actually be quite hilarious. For example, I roll PvP servers in MMO's, as I am an avid PvP'er and enjoy it more than the other mode, PvE. Sometimes I come a player from the enemy faction in the world or in instanced modes (arenas, bg's, etc.), so I kill them. Makes sense, right, seeing as it's a PvP server and all? What happens afterwards is that I get a whisper in-game from the person(s) I just killed. They blow up, calling me names, saying things like that I'm a noob or even a psycho asshole with no real life. In truth, I know that I'm not any of those things and just stay calm. The fact of the matter is just that they are either sore losers or can't handle the fact that someone came along and killed them, ruining their "experience" or breaking their "immersion." [Admitedly, sometimes these rage whispers I get are quite hilarious in their extremeness though, so I do get a laugh out of them every now and again, but that's just me]

I think this applies to these asshole variety of roleplayers too. They're afraid that their perfect little setup gets ruined or altered by someone (you). My advice is to not give a flying fuck and move on. Just walk out while giving them the finger. If they don't think you're worth their time, then they certainly aren't worth yours.

[NinjaNinja2013]

There's a lot of people on the Internet who are frustrated with their reallife, and for many of them roleplaying is their only escape from that frustration. So, if that little hidyhole is in any way threatened, they'll pretty much blow up in your face. I generally tell them to grow the fuck up. It's just a game, after all.

Speaking of games, I tend to get this sort of stuff while playing MMO's or other competitive online games. It can actually be quite hilarious. For example, I roll PvP servers in MMO's, as I am an avid PvP'er and enjoy it more than the other mode, PvE. Sometimes I come a player from the enemy faction in the world or in instanced modes (arenas, bg's, etc.), so I kill them. Makes sense, right, seeing as it's a PvP server and all? What happens afterwards is that I get a whisper in-game from the person(s) I just killed. They blow up, calling me names, saying things like that I'm a noob or even a psycho asshole with no real life. In truth, I know that I'm not any of those things and just stay calm. The fact of the matter is just that they are either sore losers or can't handle the fact that someone came along and killed them, ruining their "experience" or breaking their "immersion." [Admitedly, sometimes these rage whispers I get are quite hilarious in their extremeness though, so I do get a laugh out of them every now and again, but that's just me]

I think this applies to these asshole variety of roleplayers too. They're afraid that their perfect little setup gets ruined or altered by someone (you). My advice is to not give a flying fuck and move on. Just walk out while giving them the finger. If they don't think you're worth their time, then they certainly aren't worth yours.

this is basically it. People on the internet want to escape from daily lives, so the first thing that annoy's them will make them attack you or anyone else (if that's what I interpreted from your post at least). Just like going to any other forum. I was trying to role play with a woman asking if she thought if "such and such" was ok for her to start her post and she got really pissed at me where she drops the role play the other day. Too bad, because finding a dominating woman like a dime in a dozen. Of course it was my fault asking her to start her post and all. But now I'm back to square one lol.

edit: of course I'm just as bad as everyone cause I don't have self control of myself on role play forums. Wish I did though =(

[someinheritthewealth]

I myself has found this, for instance some rpers believe that sexual rping is just smut and does not count as rping. Some people believe if you are rping Canon characters you must rp them according to their opinions and if you don't fit their shallow view of this character you don't deserve this privalage. I have met many a rper who thinks rping canon characters is lazy, throw in many other adjectives... my point being that I try to find communities that don't censor my creativity i want somewhere to become a better writer to grow and mature.

It's why I am enjoying here so far because I can finally let loose and not worry about being judged sometimes the hardest thing to do is show your true face. RolePlayChat where I was previously had the sexual aspect, but not the plotting and huge grand stories, I need both if I am to be happy. It's a matter of balance sex constantly on it's own is pointless in my opinion it must have build up or at least some way to connect it to the reality in the story. Suddenly sex is boring and in all honesty unlikely even with nymphomaniacs.

For me I need my creativity unhindered by societal norms.