Is Elliquy Cheating?

[SinfullyShy]

So, I recently got into a debate with a friend of mine about role playing sites such as these,  and if they are cheating. I was wondering what all you role players think out there? Is roleplaying, third-person, erotic role-plays cheating? If your significant other was on here writing erotic stories, would you consider that cheating?

I don't think so, considering it's a plot or fantasy you are just having collaborative help writing. I mean I play all sorts of characters and sexualities that I would never take on in RL. So what are everyone else's thoughts?

[SithLordOfSnark]

I have a pretty unpopular opinion about this in that not only do I think it's NOT cheating, even slightly, if a girl I was dating told me to choose roleplay or her, I'd pack her bags myself.

[RedRose]

Each couple needs to decide...

[HannibalBarca]

I agree with Redrose.  It needs to be discussed between a couple.  I'd think at the very least it needs to be out in the open.  Hiding anything from a partner is dishonesty and not conducive to a good relationship.  That being said, I also agree with SithLordOfSnark in that--as I'm single right now--any future possible partner will have to be agreeable to me writing here or that relationship will be a no-go.

[Scalerender]

Me and the wife just don't hide it, we tell each other we start rp's and with whom (but don't read eachother's posts).

Cheating implies that you hide something so it really depends how the relationship stands on that but honestly I'd have issues if my wife got sexually excited through interaction with another person without me knowing about it. It's not the same as porn, it involves stimulation provided by another person.

[SinfullyShy]

I also agree that it needs to be discussed between partners as communication and honesty are the fundamentals of a relationship, but I also feel like the excitement is via the plot and development of the story. I find it very similar to if I was reading an erotic novel. It's just roleplaying is better as it is your scenario and the character acts as you want. Thanks for all the replies, I like to consider others opinions before I make my own.

[Scalerender]

I also agree that it needs to be discussed between partners as communication and honesty are the fundamentals of a relationship, but I also feel like the excitement is via the plot and development of the story. I find it very similar to if I was reading an erotic novel. It's just roleplaying is better as it is your scenario and the character acts as you want. Thanks for all the replies, I like to consider others opinions before I make my own.

It's an interesting topic as you can argue that the words in a novel are also provided by anothe rperson and yet I feel that the connection with another player is somehow more intimate then an author that probably will never know you exist.

[SinfullyShy]

I can definitely agree that the words in a novel are less intimate than role playing with another person. It's just that I may learn things about the person and feel sad at their life circumstances, especially if something draws them away. I may hope them the best; however, I don't find myself sexually attracted to them. To the characters that are created sure. I find myself inextricably tied to my characters, as a person who will cry if one of them goes through something heart renching. Yet, that is simply from the weaving of ideas and reactions that are flowing between the writers.

[SinfullyShy]

Definitely an interesting debate! Like I said, I really like and appreciate all the input. Everyone has been making great points.

[TurtleInTheSheets]

Writing in itself is a form of expression. There is a distinct essence that can only be captured vividly by imagination. For this reason, people have tried to express their "being" through music, literature and dance.

As with any form of unfaithfulness, it stems from your intentions. Why do you write? If it is for the purpose of expressing your creativity while delving into the pleasures derived from writing/ consuming erotic literature then, you are merely an individual who is exploring your right to explore such matters as they are still part of life.

If you go to these sites with the intention of forming relationships beyond writing partners whilst you are in a committed relationship in real life, it will become what constitutes an "emotional affair". If E has become a platform that "drains" energy from your main/primary relationship, then you have to re-assess yourself. It should not distance you from your relationships at home.

An emotional affair happens when there is something brewing beyond the context of sexually-explicit content writing. If you are devoting more effort, more passion and more life into your posts in E rather than investing in the immediate person who is your spouse/partner, there is already an imbalance in priority.

If you are reaching out to your writing partner beyond the purpose of role playing as you ache for romantic connections/ attention, then that is considered cheating. If need be, effective communication with your partner is paramount. Letting them know of your hobbies as well as reassuring them of evidence that definite boundaries and safeguards are in place to protect his/her interests.

We are all adults here (some are merely adulting) so we can cut the bs when we say, "We're just friends."

There is no gray zone between "Friends" and "Someone you yearn for/desire"

Elliquiy is merely a tool. Like any tool, it can be used for both good and bad.

[Nico]

Personally, I've never seen it as cheating. I'm married and my husband knows that I write here. He also knows what I write about now and then. There has never been a discussion with my partner about it because I'm not here to date, share erotic tales with people, talk about my sexlife on here or get 'involved' with someone. Even while writing erotica it has never changed my relation to a writing partner. I don't suddenly desire my writing partner or something. I wouldn't want it, either, because that's not why I am writing.

I love writing in general, it is one of my creative outlets. I love making friends and meeting people. Yes, sometimes I write erotica. So what? It's words on a screen. Fiction. I am not my characters, nor do I want to be them. I have many friends on here but they are just that. Friends. I have no desire to date them, get their phonenumbers, learn about their bedroom habits or want pictures of them. All this is of no importance to me when it comes to writing partners. All that counts is that we mesh well and that we can write together. What happens in my stories has no influence on my friendships with people. When I chat with them, it's not about erotica because that's nothing I want to be involved in.

In the end, it's up to the individual, I'd say. It's difficult to gauge because that would require essential knowledge of someone elses relationship dynamics.

[Oniya]

Cheating - whether it's in a relationship or in Monopoly - is breaking the rules.  And just like in Monopoly, it's possible to have house rules that no one else uses.  The important thing is to make sure everyone involved knows what the rules are.

As for me?  I'm writing characters.  I am not my characters just like Stephen King is not a 14-year-old pyrokinetic.

[Nico]

I am not my characters just like Stephen King is not a 14-year-old pyrokinetic.

So much this.  XD

As I always say. I don't want to be my characters - but I'd love their cars, clothes and houses. :D

[SithLordOfSnark]

Cheating - whether it's in a relationship or in Monopoly - is breaking the rules.  And just like in Monopoly, it's possible to have house rules that no one else uses.  The important thing is to make sure everyone involved knows what the rules are.

As for me?  I'm writing characters.  I am not my characters just like Stephen King is not a 14-year-old pyrokinetic.

Wait...

he isn't?

Dammit.

[RedRose]

I definitely don't see my co-writers as a date or a partner. I don't care how old they are, if they're a guy or a gal, how they look - while I am quite picky for dating. If it gets more... Flirting, trading a pic, whatever, that's not really the RP's fault and could have happened on FB. I definitely joined here to WRITE. And I like to keep in touch because I have noticed that if we don't, often the RP will die quicker.
"E is not a meat market" ;)

[Oniya]

Wait...

he isn't?

Dammit.

He's also not a demon-possessed red '58 Plymouth Fury - which would have been even cooler.

[Angie]

Wait...

he isn't?

Dammit.

Unfortunately he isn't.

To continue Oniya's train of thought, the closest I've ever gotten to writing "myself" on this forum is if I've ever played Angelo the Wizard anywhere (Or Angelo Belthasar as I've written him as commonly using when he can't get away with just Angelo). And even then, I'm not a sword swinging wizard with angelic lineage.

As far as the cheating angle is concerned, personally I'd show any potential lovers this site and try to get them to sign on. If they've gotten past my incredibly nerdy and the fact that I can swear like a Scotsman, Elliquiy is not going to be the make-or-break part of any relationship I'm in.

In the end, it does kind of come down to the individual couples. Still, this is probably one of the things to get out in the open early, or it'll cause problems later on.

[Theta Sigma]

Oniya says it perfectly.

My other half is a member here, though he isn't around much. I'm the writer of the relationship. >_> I've also made some wonderful friends here who I write with, one of whom I know very well and don't consider it weird that we write characters getting dirty together. >_>

[Lithos]

It depends on the couple, in standards of some this is cheating, in standards of others it isn't... I would hope that the latter is the majority. My better half is here too so for us it works all right. This is one of those things that are 100% subjective.

[SinfullyShy]

Appreciating all the responses. I certinatly think it is a matter of a persons subjective feelings toward cheating within the contexts of that relationship. Something, no doubt, that would have to be agreed upon with the significant other.

[Nico]

Appreciating all the responses. I certinatly think it is a matter of a persons subjective feelings toward cheating within the contexts of that relationship. Something, no doubt, that would have to be agreed upon with the significant other.

Yes, I agree. it's very subjective to being with. Each relationship has a different dynamic and what works for one, doesn't work for another.

I've never asked for permission, though. And I never would.

[Lithos]

I think best guide to one's own feelings is, if it makes you feel guilty, then it is cheating to you and you probably shouldn't be doing it. If it doesn't you are all good.

[RedRose]

It probably gets tricky when the spouse has no idea WTH roleplaying is, or has tons of bad ideas about it.

[Nico]

It probably gets tricky when the spouse has no idea WTH roleplaying is, or has tons of bad ideas about it.

~nodnods~

I remember when I told him. He was like "Awesome. Can I read it sometimes?" He didn't even ask questions or assume anything terrible.

[SinfullyShy]

Yeah, makes sense. It was just an earnest discussion I had with a friend and it got me thinking what others felt on the matter.