Breakup with the person above you!

[Zaphod]

I'm tired of you wandering around topless in public. Stopping at Chipotle and taking off your top before attacking that burrito was the last straw. See ya!

PS: Can we still be **** buddies?

[Phantomhive]

So when we got together I thought it was dashing and spoke of a devil may care joie de vivre. Then I got a bit annoyed with it and that's when we started going to all those swanky events in the hope it would inspire you to watch a YouTube video on how to do it or something. Then I moved on to buying you new ones, remember that, because I figured you might do it because they were a present from me. Then I was all like "do you want me to sort that out for you sweetheart?" but you always said it was fine.

You know what? It's not fine, I'm sick of it. We're through and we wouldn't be if you'd just spent five minutes learning how to TIE YOUR DAMN TIE.

What a cracker of a break up laughed so hard I cried lol

__________________________________________________________________

Topless is one thing but semi naked for other girls to drool over you? A bit much if you ask me. I mean really you were my one true partner that I thought I would marry and have children with, guess now that is never likely to happen.

Syonara baby we are most definitely through. Delete my number forget where I live. Oh yeah I'm taking the dog.

No more love,

P

[NomadicNovak]

Phantom, 
even though it was a whirlwind of emotions in the beginning.  I've come to realize I'm not the only one you've made feel like a princess. I hope you can understand my decision and allow me to bloom into the Demonic Empress I know I am.

[Phantomhive]

Novak dear,

I thought I told you there was only ever 1 demon in my life who literally has my soul in his hands. You can go do your demonic thing as much as you like, but you are not breaking it off, I am. You are too self obsessed with being the demonic empress you know you are, that you had ignored me, why else would I go out looking for princesses that are worthy of my time and attention.

Oh for ****s sake now I am talking too much.

It's simple get over your delusions of grandeur and get a life, preferably without me.

PS I hope you realize Sebastian is there to remind me who owns my soul and it most definitely is not you.

*gets off soapbox and strolls away*

[NomadicNovak]

*blinks* well than....

*gets on soapbox, pulling out a microphone*
Phantom hun,
Your delusions at best brought some sort of excitement to our relationship. But I'm afraid, once again i have to remind you that it is i who has had enough of you.
  At first my determination to become a Demonic Empress was only to grab your attention away from said demon. But through time I realized that it could never happen. Your obsession had pulled you in too deep, unable to focus on anything but it.
  But now it's time I focused on me, to better myself and one day rule all of hell. So please my love, go back to your fantasy. And one day you'll realize how much more you deserve. Instead of living with your delusions.

*drops the Mic and vanishes*

[Kythia]

Holy crap there are soapboxes? I've always had a thing for soapboxes. They're so soapy. And boxy. And I can stand on them and crawl in them and...man.

Look, NomadicNovak it's over. I've found someone, something, new. I'm just gonna take this and...you know.

If the box is a'rockin don't come a'knockin

[Swashbuckler]

Kythia,

It's been amazing, but I cannot deal with that pet wolverine any longer.  Just look at your jeans for fucks sake!

Goodbutt.....er.....goodbye

[AmberStarfire]

It's your swords. They're too large and your arm's on fire. What's up with that?

How am I supposed to bond with someone when they're packing blades like that?

And I like to see a man smoulder, but not in that way!!

Goodbye, it's been memorable.  >:)

[Kurzyk]

Dearest Amber,

Being married to you has been exciting, we've conquered empires and I've helped you craft some dangerous Magick. But you just stay up in your study, brooding over ... I don't know what anymore. Can't we enjoy the fruit of our victory? Is there no happiness that can lighten your windows?

Look it's not you, it's me. I think I need some space to find myself, see other people, you know... roam the kingdom incognito of course, maybe find some things out about myself. I wish you all the best of luck and try not to let that dark magick get a hold on you.

Kurzyk

[AmberStarfire]

Oh Kurzyk Kurzyk Kurzyk!

What could be more fun than conquering empires together, crushing enemies beneath our.. well, my.. well-heeled shoes. You don't understand, and I must ask myself why. This is enjoyment for me. Can't you tell? Do I have a glum-resting-face?

I just enjoy it without going yay or whatever. I brood happily. Oh yes!

Go, wander the land. Just don't get recognised because they're not going to like you. Not now.  >:)

The dark magick doesn't have control over me. It's more a cozy understanding between me and the powers that be, which I think is awesome and wicked in equal measure.

Wait and see, you'll miss me!

And don't be surprised if I bang your sister while you're gone.

[Scylla]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Amber. We just want different things.

You can't live without world domination and I just need like an hour a day to play video games.

It's just not in the stars. Well, your intergalactic oppression palace is, yes. But not.. us. -dramatic sigh-

[Kythia]

Oh my god, PixelDust, no.  Why...why did it have to be you?  I love you so damn much and I never, never wanted to break up with you.  This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but the rules of the thread are unambiguous.  We have to break up. PixelDust. Why couldn't it have been someone else above me in the break up with the person above you thread?  Why?  I don't want to do this, Pixie, but I have to.  I just have to.

[Kythia]

You know, the biggest problem with having a clone lover grown from DNA extracted from your toenails is occasionally they do stupid shit like the above.  If that stupid cow had just held off for a bit someone else would have posted and we'd still be together with PixelDust.  But noooooo. Dozy bitch had to go and post.

I'm sick of her, I really am.  Let this be the official notice: me and clone-me are no more.

[Scylla]

You know, the biggest problem with having a clone lover grown from DNA extracted from your toenails is occasionally they do stupid shit like the above.  If that stupid cow had just held off for a bit someone else would have posted and we'd still be together with PixelDust.  But noooooo. Dozy bitch had to go and post.

I'm sick of her, I really am.  Let this be the official notice: me and clone-me are no more.

AHAHHAHAAahahahhaaaa!! OMG! *roles on the floor*  XD

Oh, and you and your clone can take a hike.  Your stuff is on the hover bus waiting outside.   Now GIT!  *swats the butt*

[NomadicNovak]

Listen Pixel, it was great while it lasted.  We had alot of laughs along the way. And im sure given a different situation maybe it would've worked out. But honestly every time I looked in your eyes I was always left wanting more. And possibly a little shaken. So go forth and find the one in your life that will make you happy.
  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to destroy Jotunheim

[MasterMischief]

Look, you are a wonderful lady.  It's not you.  It's me.  Actually, it is you, but we can just pretend it's me. Ok?

[Phantomhive]

Its not you its me oh it is you so old I wanna puke liven up Llama and I just might come back... Who the f*** am I kidding I am so stupid if I think I will ever get back with you. Considering how many times I have told you it's over already.

Darn it get a clue llama you are not my type any more.

Phantom: Sebastian put the Llama on a spit will you.
Sebastian: At once my Lady.

Leave me alone and I will stop the spit roast otherwise your llama will be cooked. CLEAR?

P

[NomadicNovak]

*sighs* Phantom dear I thought we had this talk before. But I see I must once again help you move along. If you'll just wait... ahh *dusts off the soapbox* now if only I can find.. oh there it is! *grabs the mic, stepping onto the soapbox*
  Listen love, I know we agreed to be friends,  but you've seem to forget that is all we agreed on. I must admit it's nice to see you wanting my attention. It's cute at most, though thats all it is.
  I've moved on. Have gone on to new and better things, while finding someone who actually loves me. Please I beg you. Move on, explore the world. But remember the only thing we are, are friends,  and nothing more. I'm sorry I had to do this again.  *steps of soapbox and walks away*

[Phantomhive]

*snatches MY soapbox* was my idea to begin with get yer own woman.  *gets up on it and doesn't want or need the mic. Voice projects*

Novak,
you must be joking surely to say you have found someone else. They must be blind to your world domination kick.  And you tell me it was to grab my attention. I have seen your kick begin very subtly and get to the point it rules your life. If the big dude down below heard you He would do something about you. Surely you can't think that we can remain friends when you tell such pork pies. I don't even want to be your friend anymore. It's over completely leave me alone and you will get your wish of instigating our breakup. (Which you really didn't because if you had read your texts you would have found my dear Juan letter weeks ago.) Now how about THAT.

*gets off MY soapbox and takes it with me walking away from the stage*

P

[NomadicNovak]

You know its times like this I realize that breaking up my with you was a good idea. Just. *pulls out a Capsule and throwing it behind me to turn into a concert stage.* soo much better. *steps onto the stage clearing throat* this time I'll go Micless.
  Just when i think its over, you have to pull me back in with your insanity. everywhere i turn there you are insisting that it's you whose doing the break up. I admit It was a fun game at first. But now you have went from healthy to insane. It worries me. Your
right eye can't stop twitching. Some times I'll find you in a ball. Rocking back and forth insisting your breaking up with me. This break up has taken you over.
  Now yes I do admit fault with my whole world domination. my need for being a Demonic Empress did take me over. But remember you ignored me for someone else first.
  I wish I could do something for you. But your completely mad. And I have no idea what I can do to fix that for you. Except to say. Its me, not you whose breaking whatever this is apart. Goodbye.
*takes out my broom and flys away*

N

[Phantomhive]

About time and DONT COME BACK.

The nerved thinking its my right eye. It's MY LEFT you don't even see which eye is the seal man you are blinded by your obsession and again you started it all off with your domination kick I am over it. You respond again and I'll show  you what ignorance truly is.

Build a bridge, get over it and straighten out yer facts ... My father usedd to say "Please engage brain before shooting your mouth off.

We are so done and I* started it you **************

P

PS Don't bother me again or you will know what royal pissed off is like.

[Renegade Vile]

When we first got together, I thought we shared something special. The love for topless tea serving is one that cannot be found in many walks of life. But when I met you at that two-day, ten-people convention, I believed we were a match made in heaven.

Things have changed.

When is the last time you surprised me with topless tea in bed on a morning? Can't remember? Well, neither can I. You keep lying around, half-naked, sipping cups on couches; other people's couches, probably!

I'm going to find someone who respects my increasingly weird and niche kinks for what they are: lunacy. Good day, madame and I hope we never meet again!

[Phantomhive]

Why the nerve. I thought it was a great adventure but then said adventur wore off. Your kinks were fun at first but the repetition became boring. Why is it always about the butler. He is the best at tea service semi naked or not *dramatic sigh* I guess it was fun while it lasted but now you are right. We are done. "Sebastian show this lunatic to the door please"

[NomadicNovak]

About time and DONT COME BACK.

The nerved thinking its my right eye. It's MY LEFT you don't even see which eye is the seal man you are blinded by your obsession and again you started it all off with your domination kick I am over it. You respond again and I'll show  you what ignorance truly is.

Build a bridge, get over it and straighten out yer facts ... My father usedd to say "Please engage brain before shooting your mouth off.

We are so done and I* started it you **************

P

PS Don't bother me again or you will know what royal pissed off is like.

May I just say before I continue that was a great read. And I'm  so enjoying this XD

New Orleans, Louisiana
Dec,14,2015
4:00 PM
Dear Phantom,
I’ve rewritten this letter a thousand times trying to find hopefully the right enough words that would have some effect on you to leave me alone. Though the only thing that I’m able to convey, is the rage that I find myself barely holding back.
  I’m trying so hard to understand where you’re coming from with all this Madness. Trying to make sense of the words that you used in an attempt to hurt me with, because I decided to better myself and my life.
  At the same time though, I can not help but see the reason why we started this relationship. The whole cat and mouse game is so accelerating, and we all know how I’m a sucker for an adrenaline rush.
  Honestly I’m just babbling right now. I’m still in shock that you had the nerve to follow me to my new home. Yes you can’t lie, I saw you. Just please love, for the both of us. Move on.
  Go experience live again! Find someone who loves you just as much as you think you love me. You’re a amazing person. You deserve the best. So for the last time I say goodbye.

Sincerely,
Nomadic Novak

[Phantomhive]

*Facepalms gets on soapbox for the last time.*

You only think you saw me I want to know just how I can be there when I am at my estate in Canada. OMFG why why WHY would I waste my time when I do not love you any more!!!! If you would just shut up and leave ME alone I would stop replying but no. AGAIN you make it all about you. Besides I don't like Louisana FFS and if you think you are just holding your rage let me tell you you BEEP BEEP BEEP of a woman I don't need you I don't want you GET OUT OF MY LIFE and stop sending me telegrams, letters, emails, texts and voicemails. I do not want to see any further correspondence from you and it takes a mad cow to kn ow a mad cow in my eyes if you are that worried about my sanity STOP THE TALKING then and only then can I do the same.

You need to stop perpetuating the drama you are creating woman.

Gees what will it take to get this monkey off my back.

P

PS This is really getting old.