Corrupt a wish

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  Of course, the only one we have in stock is a mutated, ferocious man-eating pup.  Enjoy!

I wish I had infinite wishes!

[NightDream]

Granted but not one of them actually comes true!


I wish my cell phone battery was always fully charged.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted, but it you will never find service!

I wish to end the world!

[Kippers]

Granted. The world ends, but only for you.

I wish I owned a big video game company.

[Snapespersephone]

Granted but it is called Big Video Game Company and you sell nothing

I wish my husband would do what I say

[studpuppy22]

Granted he does exactly what you do and you begin to get annoyed because he asks you what to do all day and night long

I wish I could control time allowing me to get everything done that I need/want

[Skadii]

Granted, but when you are done you realize that you have nothing left to do and become very, very bored...for eternity.

I wish I could understand men.

[subjuanita]

I don't think you can understand men, and they probably say the same about us!

I just wish I had more time to do the things that I like to do.

[Snapespersephone]

granted but now you are stuck in a time vortex where you repeat the same half hour everyday for eternity

I wish I had someone ot take a bath with

[Annisthyrienne]

granted but now you are stuck in a time vortex where you repeat the same half hour everyday for eternity

I wish I had someone ot take a bath with

Granted, but that someone is an 85 pound Golden Retriever who was just out rolling in the mud.

I wish my renovations were all done on the house I bought.

[Snapespersephone]

granted but every room looks like a sex dungeon now

I wish I could eat whatever i want and not gain weight

[Annisthyrienne]

I fail to see the downside of this.

Granted, but we're changing 'whatever' to 'whoever'.  ;)

I wish I could go home early today.

[Snapespersephone]

granted but you where fired

I wish I could have sex everyday

[Annisthyrienne]

Granted, but when you get older and end up in a nursing home, all the old gentlemen who live there constantly chase you around with their walkers, waggling their bushy eyebrows suggestively and rattling their bottles of Viagra.

I wish I had some mayo for this sandwich.

[Snapespersephone]

granted but I am not sure it is actually mayo

I wish I had ice cream

[HannibalBarca]

Granted *four 10-pound blocks of frozen heavy cream land on the ground in front of you*

I wish I could reverse entropy.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted, but in so doing, the first law of thermodynamics is now invalid: energy can never be transformed from one form into another and will be utterly destroyed in any attempt to do so.

I wish to be omnipotent.

[HannibalBarca]

Sorry...as I am not omnipotent, but a mere granter of wishes...a non-god cannot gift the powers of a god...

...or, alternatively...

Granted, but seeing as how I am godlike myself in order to offer such power, I immediately take you as a lesser god to serve me, and put you in charge of some of the load of answering these annoying mortals and their ceaseless wishes.

I wish I made no mistakes.

[Kippers]

Granted. Your caretakers have made all your decisions for you and never learn anything or gain autonomy.

I wish I could get a job I love.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted: your inhibitions have been lowered, allowing you to thoroughly love and enjoy the job of being a sewer worker.

I wish to know all languages.

[Ayahka]

Granted. You now know about all the languages in the world. You know what they're called and you can instantly identify a language if you hear or read it. Unfortunately, you still don't understand any of it; you just instinctively know what languages they are.

I wish I was in Dixie!

[Annisthyrienne]

Granted, but since you are now with me, you get to be my personal plaything for as long as I want.

I wish I didn't have to deal with the idiots at Comcast to get my internet service bill sorted out.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  Now, television doesn't exist, and never will.

I wish I could dance.

[Fleur Morisson]

Granted as I'm just about to turn the music on myself

I wish there was more hours in the day

[Lightskirt]

Granted. The new extra hours will appear right before your usual work shift would have ended.

I wish my neighbors dogs would stop barking.