1001 Things not to say to your Boss

[Immortal Cherubin]

You:Boss what would you if i told you that your wife had an affair and i knew who he was and he is working here?

Boss: I would give you a raise and fire the one who is my wife's lover,so who is it?

You:your looking at him surprise I'll take that raise now.

[Korokage]

Oooooooh, that was YOUR retarded son that I just ran over? ...Yeah don't care, when do I get my raise?

[Azrael]

I am arresting you under the terrorism laws for use of biological weapons in the form of body odour with the intent to kill or otherwise maim the nostrils of innocent citizens.

[Korokage]

CAn it wait till I'm done masturbating to these naked photos of your teenage daughter?

[MasterMischief]

Would you like to buy some weed?  I will give you a discount since you are my boss and all.

[Beguile's Mistress]

"I'll be with you in a minute.  I'm chatting with my girlfriend."

[Fragile Dreams]

Sir, your wife called. She said that she charged your credit cards way to much because she knows about your affair with her sister.

[Korokage]

No I did not shoot your best friend and hide the gun in your desk! Wait...shit. Uh can I have a vacation?

[Korokage]

Sir, your wife called. She's leaving you for me and taking your daughter with her.

[BigNRich]

That was YOU that I cut off, flipped the bird to, and made a finger-gun gesture at on the way to work today??

[Talia]

"I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone who cares."

[Immortal Cherubin]

"Quiet can't you see I'm watching Scooby Doo online i want to see if Shaggy and Scooby find a real ghost this time."

[LiandraJay]

For a female boss -

I meant to tell you earlier, that sexual harrassment charge? Totally bogus...

[Keaira]

Instead of you telling me how to do my job, why don't I tell you how to do yours. Besides I'm already doing a better job at being you than you are!

[Spell]

So, instead of pretending your the boss and all, why don't you actually something from which the company would actually benefit?

[BigNRich]

I'm sorry, I don't think I gave YOU permission to speak.

(Preferably while jabbing your finger in their chest  ;D )

[Mithlomwen]

Contrary to what you seem to think, you do NOT know it all! 

[Keaira]

Have fun on your vacation, feel free to get lost in the Arizona deserts. We'll send a search party sometime next year.

[BigNRich]

Do this report? How about I do your wife first?  ;D

[MasterMischief]

I am going to have to charge you extra for putting up with your gross negligence and poor leadership.

[MasterMischief]

I have discussed it with my other co-workers and we agreed, you're fired.

[MasterMischief]

Why don't you go back to your office and let those of us who actually know what we are doing, get some work done around here.

[MasterMischief]

Does your breath always smell like that?

[MasterMischief]

[interrupting a presentation your boss is giving]

Hold on a minute.  Are you literate?  Because you obviously did not read the report.

[MasterMischief]

What is your degree in again?