Perverted Wishes

Started by Ellyssa, September 15, 2006, 11:50:39 AM

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Inkidu

Granted but they're the new Nike On-Fires and they mean it literally.

I wish I had a big chocolate chip cookie. (Seeing as bad things happen with doughnuts.)
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

WifeHeather

Granted, but the dough in the cookie was mixed with high amounts of poison!

I wish I could predict the future.

mannik

Granted, but when looking forward to your exotic African vacation you see your plane crash in a river. You will survive the crash but will killed in a vicious tug of war between a crocodile and a lion...then the plane takes off with you on it.

I wish I was a ninja

QueenFracture

Granted but you tend to forget your training as soon as you get into a fight with someone.

I wish my car was a transformer.

Inkidu

Quote from: QueenFracture on November 15, 2008, 10:08:10 PM
Granted but you tend to forget your training as soon as you get into a fight with someone.

I wish my car was a transformer.
Granted but he sneezes and accidentally transforms with you inside him or her... it.

I wish I could render people incontinent at will.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

MusicNeverDies

Granted, whenever you use the word 'will' anything in earshot will become incontinent. Including you.

I wish I could pause time and calm myself down before responding to anything.

Atlus

Granted. Now if you could just unpause time you'd be set.


I wish I didn't have to cook all the time.
How profound such profanity can be.

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MusicNeverDies

Granted, but it's because you get sent away to a foreign country and are only given badly prepared rations.

I wish I hadn't fallen so far behind in NaNoWrimo.

Paradox

Granted; you're almost finished, but it's all tripe.

I wish I hadn't outgrown video games. Sometimes I miss them.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

The Overlord


Well, technically you really don't outgrow video games...that's just social bias telling you what to do, and you should listen to it a lot less.

Wish granted, but you're like Tom Hanks in Big.


I wish it was December 15th already so this fracking senior portfolio class would be over.  :( :(

Inkidu

Quote from: The Overlord on November 24, 2008, 05:26:56 PM
Well, technically you really don't outgrow video games...that's just social bias telling you what to do, and you should listen to it a lot less.

Wish granted, but you're like Tom Hanks in Big.


I wish it was December 15th already so this fracking senior portfolio class would be over.  :( :(

Granted. However, it's portfolio time, but a dog ate yours.

I wish I was an astronaut.
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Servant Girl

Granted However you have Buzz Aldrin's haircut

http://www.learningprep.org/lps%20studentgallery%2010_30/student_gallery9_30/explorer_webpage/adwebpage/images/Neil%20Armstrong.jpg

Oh and your space mission is faked in a studio!


I wish I had been more slutty when I was younger

Paradox

Granted, but in doing so, you contracted just about every sexually-transmitted disease known to man.

I wish rice krispies exploded when they popped.


"More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality."-Robert A. Baker

Ryven

Granted, but the explosions turn out to be extremely non-lethal and benign. In fact, Kellogg's markets this new form of rice krispies, making billions of dollars off of the gimmick and cornering the breakfast cereal market.

I wish it was Dec. 13th of this year.

Servant Girl

It is, however somehow its a Friday and you're very, very unlucky.

I wish that no one replied to this post.

Inkidu

I wish I had a legion of lethally cute bunnies to do my will!

If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

MusicNeverDies

Granted, however Anya(Buffy the Vampire Slayer) sees them and kills them all... She knows better.

I wish I could see the results of my words before saying them.

Inkidu

Wish granted. You now know every impact of every word you'll ever say but the implications drive you crazy and you're institutionalized. Straitjackets are warm though. :D

I wish I was the next president of the United States.
(Mwa ha ha ha...)
If you're searching the lines for a point, well you've probably missed it; there was never anything there in the first place.

Mordred

I wish I could pause, rewind, fast forward... everything.
*See Pillory*

Aeval

You got your wish but you are stuck in an ever constant loop of rewind, fast forward everything and cannot ever get out!

I wish I would be approved here!

“Tomorrow may be hell, but today was a good writing day, and on the good writing days nothing else matters.”
― Neil Gaiman

The Great Triangle

Granted.  *laughs maniacally*


I wish my pants spontaneously caught on fire every 35 seconds.
Meow!  I'm a kitty; made of fire.

Ons and Offs

Older And Wiser

Granted, but you violate every fire code law ever written, so the fire depatment commits you to an asbestos lined room.

I wish I was a wizard.

Avi

Granted, but your massive amounts of power generated huge static shock discharges, rendering you untouchable for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a professional athlete.
Your reality doesn't apply to me...

Transgirlenstein

Granted but your soon after arrested for using steroids and imprisoned for 70 years.

I wish my student loans were all repaid.
Busy with freelance writing work.  Replies slow.  Feel free to prod me. 

Formally Tripping Satyr, Tripping Snake and QueenTrippingserpent.  Often known as Trip.

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W3rid th1nker

granted but you are soon afterwards busted for tax evasion with conspires with low level mob bosses/drug dealers/and pimps you've racked up 3.5 milion in fines with consecutive life secnteces

i wsh i had someone care for me in an equal manner of that i show them ;D