Corrupt a wish

[Dizzi]

Granted. But all bacteria dies, removing many staples of life

I wish I was home alone for the day

[seffer]

Granted, but there's a blackout for the whole day.

I wish I'm not so lazy.

[Krisje]

Granted, but because you're so full of energy you can't decided what to do and end up doing nothing

I wish I had a large box of freshly made chocolate ice cream

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  It melts before you get a chance to taste it.

I wish you had ice cream that never melted.

[Yukina]

Granted, but it stays solid and she can't properly digest it.

I wish it rained cats and dogs.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  You get clawed to bits by terrified falling animals.

I wish the cats and dogs landed safely.

[cptBacon]

Granted, but now the world is flooded with excessive cats and dogs. The horrendous increase in non-fixed animal population gives Drew Carey an aneurism.

I wish the cats and dogs would disappear safely.

[Yukina]

Granted, but their destination isn't so great.

I wish to know life's meaning.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  You know it.  Then you immediately forget it.

I wish I wasn't bored.

[Countdown0]

Granted. You are now terrified for your life, because you are being chased by chainsaw wielding bears.

I wish you had a jet pack to escape the bear.

[Belle33]

One jet pack, coming up.  Now make sure you watch out for the..... *yells out a warning a moment too late* .... plane.

I wish I didn't have the power to grant wishes.  It's such a huge responsibility. 

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  You have no power to grant wishes.  However, people still think you do and won't stop asking.

I wish people would take a hint.

[BellaBella]

Granted, but unfortunately they misinterpret your hint and you see no resolution to the real problem.

I wish I hadn't just hit my knee on the ottoman.

[Countdown0]

Granted, you hit your knee on the table.

I wish that it was a more comfortable temperature.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  The temperature is now slightly less bothersome, but still pretty uncomfortable.  It's "more" comfy, now.  :P

I wish that I had a delicious taco.

[seffer]

Granted, but you'll have a terrible stomachache once you eat it. Apparently it's poisoned...

I wish you're not poisoned.

[Countdown0]

Granted, she is not poisoned. However, that poison has to go somewhere, since matter can not be destroyed. Congratulations, you YOU are poisoned.

I wish you had the antidote.

[BellaBella]

Granted, but unfortunately there are side effects. The poison has been abolished, but you have a constant runny nose from here on out.

I wish I had a more comfortable mattress.

[Randall Flagg]

Granted. Unfortunately your husband still farts all night long in his sleep.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

[Countdown0]

Granted, now you are never quite tired enough to go to sleep.

I wish that my internet was faster.

[seffer]

Granted, but you get all sorts of virus, spyware, etc. as a result.

I wish for everyone in the world to be unhappy. Except me.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  As a result, everyone hates the only person who isn't unhappy.  We team up to make your life a living hell.

I wish everyone felt neutral at all times.

[seffer]

Totally saw that coming =p

Granted. As the result, no one cared about each other anymore.

I wish for everyone in the world to be happy.

[Daoine Sidhe]

Granted.  As a result, there's a lot less stress and a lot more free love.  Also free sex.

I wish that this wish would never change.

[seffer]

Granted, but all the free sexes contributed to the widespread of AIDS. Humanity would soon extinct. Again.

I wish there's a cure for HIV and AIDS.