Breakup with the person above you!

[Swashbuckler]

Your cutlery tastes funny.  And not ha-ha funny either, but "what was this used on?!" funny.

And I just can't have anything but tasty knifes.

So, out you go.

*holds open door*

[Phantomhive]

Phantomhive:

Excuse me but... This is MY home. *glares at you and grabs the door from you* So it is time YOU left not me.

Doesn't move but expects you to leave.

[Ash]

Omg. Ha. Swashbuckler that was great.


I'm sorry phantom but I can't be with someone who is totally reliant upon their butler... I mean he's even there during intimate moments..awkward to say the least. Maybe you should date your flipping butler.

[Rolo]

My dearest Ash...

I am afraid we have come to the end of the road.  The endless nights of satisfying your fetishes is great and all...but the constant trying to tie my tally whacker in a know with your tongue is getting painful! 

I will fondly remember your bewbies though...

[Ash]

My dearest Ash...

I am afraid we have come to the end of the road.  The endless nights of satisfying your fetishes is great and all...but the constant trying to tie my tally whacker in a know with your tongue is getting painful! 

I will fondly remember your bewbies though...

Bahaha I'm dying of laughter <3

I'm sorry Rolo darling but I'm afraid this isn't working out for me either, your obsession with going down was great and all at first but it's lost its fun. I need forking in addition to spooning.. also the age difference was a bit much. I wish you the best!
I'll fondly remember your sense of humor.

[Swashbuckler]

Oh, dear Ash.  How I looked forward to "forking" with you....until I found out you meant it literally.

The hospital bills are just too high.

It was the best of......tines, it was the worst of tines....

[Phantomhive]

It was fun while it lasted but I refuse to pay for your visas renewal. So this is a break up to the extreme, youre leaving on a jet plane and I am free of you. Take care and good luck.

[Ash]

Oh, dear Ash.  How I looked forward to "forking" with you....until I found out you meant it literally.

The hospital bills are just too high.

It was the best of......tines, it was the worst of tines....

Yours are the best! Ha.


It was great Phantom love, until I realized I could not handle your obsession with pink polka dotted elephants.
I mean come on they obviously should be purple polka dots because they are majestic noble creatures.

[Phantomhive]

Test left for ashasaurusrex

You know what I love purple more than pink you are obsessed by the color I can't stand so very sorry I can't see you anymore.

[MasterMischief]

Tea?  TEA?!  You know I don't drink tea.  Wipe that grin off your face.  You never listen to me!

[Phantomhive]

And like you don't get that it's been over between us for two weeks. Stop obsessing and just build aa bridge and get over it... and me I mean really how many times and ways must I tell you it's over.

Safeword = GIRAFFE

[Kythia]

So when we got together I thought it was dashing and spoke of a devil may care joie de vivre. Then I got a bit annoyed with it and that's when we started going to all those swanky events in the hope it would inspire you to watch a YouTube video on how to do it or something. Then I moved on to buying you new ones, remember that, because I figured you might do it because they were a present from me. Then I was all like "do you want me to sort that out for you sweetheart?" but you always said it was fine.

You know what? It's not fine, I'm sick of it. We're through and we wouldn't be if you'd just spent five minutes learning how to TIE YOUR DAMN TIE.

[ArtemisHighmore]

Kythia I am tired of only looking at your back. Yes your ass is marvelous but it's not the best part of you. Please won't you show me your smile? If not then I fear we are done...

[Kythia]

Ah we had such magical times together, ArtemisHighmore.  All your cutlery singing to me about being their guest and  that creepy rose you have and all the rest of it.  But now it's time for me to go.  I'm being rescued, you see, and you don't stand a chance against my lantern jawed hero.  You may be pretty tough but no one fights like Gaston.

[Remiel]

Kythia, I won't lie.  When we first started, it was great.  But your absolute refusal to ever change your pants--ever--went from amusing to annoying to concerning to, frankly, a public health hazard.   You've worn the same putrid, shitstained, moth-eaten pair of jeans since I met you and it got to the point where it started making me physically ill.  SERIOUSLY, GIRL, CHANGE YOUR DAMN PANTS.

[Sofia Grace]

My darling Remiel,

They say that if you love something, to let it go - and if it comes back, it's yours.  That's great, and all... but you don't exactly come back all that often.  I know you keep saying that 'it's a pirate's life for you', but what about your responsibilities back home?  What about keeping your woman satisfied?  Maybe I'm too needy to be with a pirate.  Maybe my sex drive is just too high to be left alone for months on end.  Don't give me that look, mister!

What it comes down to is, as much as I'd like to claim that 'it's not you, it's me'... it really is you.  Sorry, matey.

[Aiden]

Let's have sex, go to subway and call it a day. Yea it is over, but hey at least you got laid and I got you a sandwich.

[AmberStarfire]

*Looks at the title, looks at Aiden and grins*

Well it's not the suit.

It must be the death knell of Subway.

[Swashbuckler]

I guess you can 'have it your way' from now on, Amber.

Wait, is that Burger King?

Either way, it's totally over.

[AmberStarfire]

I beat you to it. Check for text messages.

:P

[Swashbuckler]

Those are sexts!

For someone else!

My heart.....oh my heart...

Leave me woman, lest I perish!

*collapses dramatically....then ruins it by peeking*

[Amelita]

You never talk to me anymore, I don't know what's going on with you and I'm done!

[Kurzyk]

Amelita

I'm so sorry but as much as you look smashing in heels, your shoe collection is taking over every closet, and now every room. We've talked for years about this, but your obsession is now becoming a narcosis, as there are multiple levels of shoe racks not only in closets, and our bedroom, but in the living room, and the bathrooms! The other night I went to get a glass of water from the kitchen, and I tripped over a shoe rack near the oven.

We've talked about getting help, some sort of treatment, but you refuse... and I know about your late night cuddling with your pumps on the couch. I... just don't understand and I can't take it anymore. We need to take a break, maybe see other people. I just don't know what to do anymore and I need to break things off.

Hope you understand. All the best.

K

[Amelita]

My darling Kurzyk.

It was so perfect at first. The rough and dirty biker thing, the adrenaline watching you ride that thing, work on it, anything. It was sexy as hell and I'll admit I encouraged it. But now... I feel like the hours spent in the garage or on the track are taking over everything else and there is no longer room for me. You treat me like arm candy and I'm tired of it. I need a man, not a boy. Constant self indulging playtime is what boys do.

Goodbye  :-*

[Kythia]

You know my stance, Amelita. You knew it when we got together. I find avatars that don't show the face abhorrent. This isn't news to you, it's a well published stance. Avatars that don't show the face are suspicious and creepy. Nothing can persuade me otherwise.

I gave you time to change, knowing how important to me this is, and you didn't. So it's over.