Fifty Shades trilogy by E.L. James

Started by Damnedangel, April 22, 2012, 09:55:58 AM

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Damnedangel

Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum - If You Seek Peace Prepare For War.
We all have multiple personalities. The Average is three, but some people have more.
There's the face you wear for your friends and family, the one you let the outside world see.
Then there's the face you see everytime you look in the mirror.


Kendra

Quote from: Lilias on August 03, 2012, 08:22:17 AM
Try swapping sites like PaperbackSwap or BookMooch, where you may be able to get it for free. Beyond that, check your local charity shops. There may be other readers equally disillusioned but more charitable than our Kendra. :-)

hahaaha yes though I sincerely hope there isn't ;)

Everywhere I look or everything I turn on or where I go everyone is spouting 50SOG
I did a wedding shoot today and the best man included it in his speech, but spouted the love and sincerity found, the honesty and physicality between the couple. I froze inbetween taking pictures and genuinely stood there looking perplexed. Everyone men and women alike loved the comments that related the wedding couple to Christian Grey and Ana Steele and I 'open mouthed' watched the applause and congeniality in absolute astonishment.

What is going on with the world?
I completely agree with jaybee - there are so many eloquent and beautifully written books out there and yet they won't be read or spoken about or given the credit that they are so due because they just ... from what I can tell ... don't hit that nerve of mainstream readers. They don't reach out in layman terms and that is what I think this is about. We of the 'literary' world can sit and argue the misfortune and horror of it all, all we like but the fact of the matter is ... E.L James, Susan Meyers write to and for the masses. In my opinion they write for the movies.

By that I mean ... they write as they would see it on the big screen and did a damn good job of it. I remember throughout the Twilight series, myself and a few friends had so many arguments about where she was going to go with the story. I genuinely hoped for the huge battle at the end, for major characters to be killed off for the benefit of the story but nooooo.... S.M could not bring herself to kill any of them off in case she upset her fanbase! This pissed me off big time considering JK Rowling killed Dumbledore and other fantastic and brilliant characters off along the way. (totally cried for Dobby) I refuse to read the next two books because I foresee a scenario with Ana's new boss (if it's a Twilight fanfiction then there has to be a Team Jacob in there somewhere, right?! ) And it being only three books and not four, there can't be a huge fall out, massive war or battle so she'll have to substitute that angle with a solitary battle, an individuals emotional tormoil or something  ::) By the time I was reading the second book to Twilight .... New Moon I was able to  picture perfect it for screen and I genuinely think that's what both have done here, Meyers and James. They did not just write for their fans but for the 'big screen'.

Quote from: Damnedangel on August 03, 2012, 05:42:32 PM
Well I found a parody i enjoyed of the book http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B008IJ9EAW/ref=s9_newr_bw_d78_g351_ir05?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-4&pf_rd_r=1T5DPWY4P2MNW7Y816CQ&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=308273327&pf_rd_i=341689031 hehe set in Belfast woo!!!

I'm not even thrilled that they set it in Ireland >.<
I'm embarrassed to be honest.
I wouldn't even bother to bring myself to read a parody on a parody and hope this whole hype with this awful book series finishes soon so genuine writers can get the acknowledgement and praise they are well over due.


Iniquitous

I was going to put this up before I left last week but ended up distracted. So, here goes.

Someone mentioned respect and the dom having no respect for his/her sub. Let me point something out here. I have been slowly but surely forcing myself to read this tripe. It's torture and I cannot read more than a couple paragraphs at a time, but some things have become glaringly obvious.
1. Christain Grey is the most defined character in the whole damned 'book'.
2. Christain Grey is brutally honest with Ana from the word go. She, on the other hand, cannot be bothered to be honest with him. Which brings me to the respect part. Neither of them respected each other - him for not stepping back at the word go and realizing that she was not submissive in any sense of the word. No dominant that I know of would waste the time Christain did on someone who argues with every little thing expected of them. And believe you me, Ana argues over *everything*. Nor would any dominant that I know of waste time with some chic who couldn't be honest with not only him/her but themselves. Examples:
Ana likes what Christain does to her but admitting that freaks her out so she takes the stance that she doesn't like it.
She cannot be bothered to grow a pair of balls and tell Christain the truth of how she feels about what turns him on. Instead, she keeps telling him she'll try while thinking if she gives him what he wants he'll eventually love her and not need the bondage/spanking/etc. Oh, and she never once bothers to tell him that she thinks he is a 'monster' - something that is pounded into the reader constantly.

My first thought was this was another story of a girl having to change to suit the guy - and yes, I can see the parts where Christain plows along deaf, blind and dumb to anything Ana says - but people are overlooking the fact that Ana is far worse about trying force Christain to be what she wants than he is about trying to change her.

As for women masturbating to this? I do not see why. Seriously, a sex scene over with in one paragraph? What the hell?! Women leaving their husbands to find their own Christain Grey? Idiots - they'll end up with abusers and I suspect that if they left their marriages over badly written sex and pathetic characters then they were just looking for a reason to leave.

Oh - and there is another book out now. Beautiful Disasters. It's suppose to be a young adult book but it has the sex and the violence. Suppose to be the next 50SoG and two movie studios are already fighting for the rights to make it into a movie. One review stated the main character is as dumb as a box of rocks. Don't think I will make myself read that one.
Bow to the Queen; I'm the Alpha, the Omega, everything in between.


Oniya

Quote from: Iniquitous Opheliac on August 06, 2012, 04:03:50 PM
I was going to put this up before I left last week but ended up distracted. So, here goes.

Someone mentioned respect and the dom having no respect for his/her sub. Let me point something out here. I have been slowly but surely forcing myself to read this tripe. It's torture and I cannot read more than a couple paragraphs at a time, but some things have become glaringly obvious.

That was me.  I was speaking in generalities about when a D/s relationship enters the definition of abuse.  I haven't read the book, and I was kicking myself yesterday for coming across a display without a pen and paper handy to make the 'Try Elliquiy' sign.

Quote1. Christain Grey is the most defined character in the whole damned 'book'.
2. Christain Grey is brutally honest with Ana from the word go. She, on the other hand, cannot be bothered to be honest with him. Which brings me to the respect part. Neither of them respected each other - him for not stepping back at the word go and realizing that she was not submissive in any sense of the word. No dominant that I know of would waste the time Christain did on someone who argues with every little thing expected of them. And believe you me, Ana argues over *everything*. Nor would any dominant that I know of waste time with some chic who couldn't be honest with not only him/her but themselves. Examples:
Ana likes what Christain does to her but admitting that freaks her out so she takes the stance that she doesn't like it.
She cannot be bothered to grow a pair of balls and tell Christain the truth of how she feels about what turns him on. Instead, she keeps telling him she'll try while thinking if she gives him what he wants he'll eventually love her and not need the bondage/spanking/etc. Oh, and she never once bothers to tell him that she thinks he is a 'monster' - something that is pounded into the reader constantly.

My first thought was this was another story of a girl having to change to suit the guy - and yes, I can see the parts where Christain plows along deaf, blind and dumb to anything Ana says - but people are overlooking the fact that Ana is far worse about trying force Christain to be what she wants than he is about trying to change her.

Considering the source material - yeah, you could have spared yourself the read.

QuoteAs for women masturbating to this? I do not see why. Seriously, a sex scene over with in one paragraph? What the hell?! Women leaving their husbands to find their own Christain Grey? Idiots - they'll end up with abusers and I suspect that if they left their marriages over badly written sex and pathetic characters then they were just looking for a reason to leave.

Oh - and there is another book out now. Beautiful Disasters. It's suppose to be a young adult book but it has the sex and the violence. Suppose to be the next 50SoG and two movie studios are already fighting for the rights to make it into a movie. One review stated the main character is as dumb as a box of rocks. Don't think I will make myself read that one.

Hm.  Disasters.  Aptly named, I think.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
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NightRabbit

Thank you for warning me of all the reasons why NOT to pick up this book.
You have saved me $10.98 plus tax.

*shivers*

Avis habilis

So. There's a guy on YouTube who vlogs about tabletop & computer games. He's got a particularly mellifluous speaking voice (thanks, he says, to having been relentlessly mocked for how he sounded when he first arrived at school), which has encouraged many of his subscribers to ask him to read something aloud. He also has a bit of a bent sense of humor.

You can see where this is going.

The Gentleman In Question, host of "The Gentleman's Guide to Gaming", reads Fifty Shades volume 1.

Iniquitous

Oh lords his facial expressions and voices is hilarious!
Bow to the Queen; I'm the Alpha, the Omega, everything in between.


Jag

Quote from: Iniquitous Opheliac on August 06, 2012, 04:03:50 PM

As for women masturbating to this? I do not see why. Seriously, a sex scene over with in one paragraph? What the hell?!

As I told a friend on Facebook about it:

I'm pretty sure someone can come up with a better sex scene than that just throwing darts at a dictionary and putting the random words into a paragraph.
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Mr Self Destruct

My wife is currently reading the first in the series.  On the one hand, I'm hoping the erotica has an effect on her cooling libido.  On the other, seeing her riveted by such drivel makes me disdain the idea that she's actually reading this crap.  I read the first chapter, and the way its written reminds me of a 14 year old with nothing better to do than spend her summer typing out what her fantasy would be with the perfect lover (perfect lover for a 14 year old, that is).  It's crap, and it irks me like you would not believe that this is a NY Times Bestseller....AND that the movie rights could go for millions of dollars.

What the fuck is wrong with people? >.<

I'm gonna go write an erotic novel that features a real adult male dominating a fresh 18 year old virgin.  And when it hits shelves, I'll be condemned as a pervert and a freak, rather than lauded as 'the fresh voice in adult fiction' like this dumb British bitch is. 

Quick, somebody kick me in the balls so I can wake up and forget this nightmare ever happened!

Rolo

Ye ask and ye shall recieve!  *THWACK*

My disappointment has sunk to a new level.  My #1 is entering her first full year as an elementary school teacher.

Long and short of it.  She is reading the book, likes the story, and does not see anything wrong with the writing.  Needless to say she was not impressed with my reaction to the worth of her degree. 

Seduction is merely hypnosis with desire!

-KAI-

Dirty old man in training!
Sneaky Little Bastard!

TheGlyphstone

Quote from: Rolo on August 17, 2012, 09:59:09 AM
Ye ask and ye shall recieve!  *THWACK*

My disappointment has sunk to a new level.  My #1 is entering her first full year as an elementary school teacher.

Long and short of it.  She is reading the book, likes the story, and does not see anything wrong with the writing.  Needless to say she was not impressed with my reaction to the worth of her degree.

Well, that makes sense, its writing is on an elementary school level of quality...

Chris Brady

Quote from: TheGlyphstone on August 17, 2012, 10:05:56 AM
Well, that makes sense, its writing is on an elementary school level of quality...
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Oniya

I know if I saw a fourth grader coming up with phrases like ...

...

No, wait.  That would still be a bad thing.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Shjade

Quote from: Oniya on August 17, 2012, 01:33:15 PM
I know if I saw a fourth grader coming up with phrases like ...

...

No, wait.  That would still be a bad thing.

A bad thing...down there?
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Silverfyre



Star Safyre

The librarian at the school I worked at said a high school freshman asked her if the school library had a copy of it.  I promised to buy her a drink for having to answer that one with a straight face.
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I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones

Oniya

Considering that I once had to nonchalantly utter the words 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' to my mother while still in high school, the student gets a gumption point from me.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Star Safyre

She loses points from me for not knowing how to use the online card catalog.   ::)
My heaven is to be with him always.
|/| O/O's / Plots / tumblr / A/A's |/|
And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones

Oniya

Different scale there.  Gumption can not be substituted for intelligence in a 1-to-1 ratio.  A little intelligence can often make up for a severe gumption-deficiency, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't work in reverse.
"Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women.~*~*~Don't think it's all been done before
And in that endeavor, laziness will not do." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think we're never gonna win this war
Robin Williams-Dead Poets Society ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Don't think your world's gonna fall apart
I do have a cause, though.  It's obscenity.  I'm for it.  - Tom Lehrer~*~All you need is your beautiful heart
O/O's Updated 5/11/21 - A/A's - Current Status! - Writing a novel - all draws for Fool of Fire up!
Requests updated March 17

Star Safyre

Because I've encountered so many who believe that the reverse does work, gumption is overrated to me.  Maybe I've spent too many years saying "Sit down" and "please be quiet".  Good God, I'm such a grumpy old ladies sometimes.  ><

/derail
My heaven is to be with him always.
|/| O/O's / Plots / tumblr / A/A's |/|
And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones

Thufir Hawat

So far, it looks like reading the reviews is going to be much more fun than reading the book, which is a new level of bad writing all of its own >:)!

Quote from: Stone on August 03, 2012, 02:14:58 PM
Angelina Jolie wants to play the chick.

You know what? I'll wait for the movie on this one.  O:)
I think I'm in the same boat. At least we'd get to look at Angelina Jolie during the movie, which might distract us from how bad the underlying script is ;D!
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Lilias

And the merchandise is coming out! I was about to scream, but there was a line that (almost) made up for it:

Sounds a bit like all those must-read banned books from the 1950s, no? Are we that bored again in our real lives?

Best. Bitch. Line. Ever.
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To know the dark, go dark. Go without sight,
and find that the dark, too, blooms and sings,
and is traveled by dark feet and dark wings.
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Shjade

Quote from: Thufir Hawat on August 19, 2012, 06:55:10 PM
I think I'm in the same boat. At least we'd get to look at Angelina Jolie during the movie, which might distract us from how bad the underlying script is ;D!

Could luck out and have a screenwriter/director pairing that actually makes a good movie out of shit material. Wouldn't be the first time.
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Avis habilis

Quote from: Lilias on August 19, 2012, 07:03:02 PM
And the merchandise is coming out!

Thank $DEITY it's a soundtrack, is all I can say. The idea of 50 Shades-branded BDSM gear is too terrible to contemplate.

Shjade

50 Shades of Gray condoms.

Guess what color options are available.
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