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Approving New Members

Started by Hannibal, February 16, 2006, 11:11:50 AM

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Hannibal

I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed, but recently it feels like new members have a much more difficult and confusing task getting approved for the site. When you look at the instructions for gaining approval here: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5.msg5#msg5 the recent focus seems to be on c & d, your Sexual Preferences and Sexual Nature and Limits. This is not necessarily a bad thing in itself as it can be very revealing about a newcomers maturity. However, the instructions/guidelines posted by Lilac then say:

While the above factors won't be used to screen people (unless you can't say you're over 18...), writing quality will.

At the moment it feels like that c & d are being used to screen people as approval to Elliquiy is rarely granted until a newcomer has been quizzed about their preferences and limits in further detail and answered such questions satisfactorily. I think an inconsistent message is being sent to new members about how they are approved for full membership. One one hand, the rules/guidelines state that writing quality is used to screen people, but it could easily be perceived that providing satisfactory answers about Sexual Preferences and Limits is the real determinant for approval. I can imagine some players being put off, thinking they have met the requirements to gain approval, only to find more questions/hurdles placed in front of them.

If this is really a problem and not just me, perhaps I could suggest two solutions:

1. Don't focus on the answers to Sexual Preferences and Limits so much, but on writing quality of the responses.

or

2. Change the rules/guidelines to provide greater detail of what is required in the responses so a new member can more easily judge what is being looked for in their responses.
Happiness is a choice!

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5492.0

Celestial Goblin

I don't really feel we should judge if somebody's preferences are to are liking. Making sure somebody's not a raging homo(hetero?)phobe or won't be panicked at the very mention of s&m would be enough in my opinion.There's no need to create a feeling the person wanting to come to the site needs to impress us, right?
On the other hand, me and many other people were asking the newbies of what they like to play in every sinlge thread, and the biggest confusion seems to be that people are told to list their turn-offs, only to be quizzed about turn-ons anyway. Since knowing a persons ons is good both for them and for people already at the forum, why not put the requirement? 'Tell us about what scenarios you like to play and what is the thing that excites you the most?'

Hannibal

Quote from: Celestial Goblin on February 16, 2006, 02:47:10 PM
'Tell us about what scenarios you like to play and what is the thing that excites you the most?'

I like that idea or one where a new member has to write a short paragraph on some topic or other. Whatever it is, it should be clear that that is what being accepted as a full member is judged upon. It is not how it is done, but that it should be clear and understandable in application.

Quote from: Celestial Goblin on February 16, 2006, 02:47:10 PM
On the other hand, me and many other people were asking the newbies of what they like to play in every sinlge thread

It really doesn't matter what you, me and other people ask newcomers as we don't decide if they are accepted. That is not quite right. I'm sure it matters to people, but not in terms of the perception that what they are being judged on for full membership is what they were asked to provide in the rules.

I'd like to hear from some new members and what they have to say. Am I just talking crap?
Happiness is a choice!

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5492.0

strangely made

The problem is a lot of the new players are just cut and pasting then giving yes/no answers to the basic questions. Under sexual limits some of them put "no Limits" that doesn't tell us anything. I and many others on here can be very imaginative and once or twice players who said they had no limits have declined to play with me because I am too extreme for them.

Also a short paragraph about them selves goes a long way to show us and the goddess their writing style. That can be a lot more revealing than their answers.

Hannibal

Quote from: strangely made on February 16, 2006, 03:34:04 PM
The problem is a lot of the new players are just cut and pasting then giving yes/no answers to the basic questions. Under sexual limits some of them put "no Limits" that doesn't tell us anything. I and many others on here can be very imaginative and once or twice players who said they had no limits have declined to play with me because I am too extreme for them.

You are quite right that when someone says they have no limits and then you discover they do in fact have limits there is a problem. However, the problem shouldn't be solved by making it a ad hoc requirement of full membership to provide satisfactory responses when it is explicitly stated in the rules and guidelines that the decision is based on writing style. Maybe a solution is when the Goddesses/Gods are not happy with a the answers is to ask this question:

Why don't you write 25 or 50 words telling us some of your preference and limits?

The emphasis then becomes writing style, but they fill us on preferences and limits.
Happiness is a choice!

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5492.0

Jefepato

Quote from: strangely made on February 16, 2006, 03:34:04 PM
Under sexual limits some of them put "no Limits" that doesn't tell us anything. I and many others on here can be very imaginative and once or twice players who said they had no limits have declined to play with me because I am too extreme for them.

Well, evidently they didn't know they had any limits until they saw your ideas.

Since they had no way to see your writing (and thus to know about their previously undiscovered limits) until being approved, exactly what do you expect them to write other than "no limits"?  They can't give you information they don't have.

strangely made

Thats actually not a bad idea Hannibal .Kills two birds with one stone.

ZK

#7
Yes, a very fine idea Hannibal. As commenting Jefepato's response, that does make it a problem since no one really has a clue what goes on until they join.

By using Hannibal's method, it would lessen the time on actually verifying and allowing people to play based on a more mature selection then gutting at people and putting them on the spotlight when they done something "wrong" they had no actual idea that they've done.

Perhaps another suggestion would be to list the various types of boards, what goes on in them and such before the player actually joins? Not as in "they can see games" but they get a gidst of what there is to play and what to avoid if it didn't suit their fancy.

It'd also give a tidbit show of their maturity in the process as well on how they handled it.

And to clarify on my statement about what is in the board, it only hints that there is no consentual included.
On's/Off's --- Game Reviews

"Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper may judge what is sane."

Hannibal

Quote from: Dominatrix Zulo-Kitty on February 16, 2006, 05:01:07 PM
Yes, a very fine idea Hannibal.

Quote from: strangely made on February 16, 2006, 04:52:43 PM
Thats actually not a bad idea Hannibal .Kills two birds with one stone.

I'm glad you like it :). I wonder how many birds I can kill with two stones and a rod? ;D
Happiness is a choice!

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5492.0

ZK

Hopefully none! But perhaps many repeated customers. ^_~
On's/Off's --- Game Reviews

"Only the insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper may judge what is sane."

Elvi

We are infact, discussing this issue amongst goddesses at the moment as well.
I take it, Hannibal, that you are, or were spurred to ask this question, after reading and posting on one particular persons introduction where I am trying to get a responce from her on the matter of limits?

The reason I am doing this is not because I want players to actually write down everything that they like or dislike, but I feel we need at least some acceptance of the fact that they may come across things that they don't like.

If they state there are lots of things that I haven't tried in real life or explored in roleplay so I'm not sure, though haven't found anything that I have got upset about yet. (Or words to that effect) Then I would  be quite happy. It shows that there is concideration and some thought has gone into the answer, which brings us back to maturity again.


You see, we goddesses are in a bit of a tuff position.

Yesterday I had several players up in arms because one of us had authroised two people who gave the cut and paste yes/no/probably/yeah/dunno  answers and nothing else.
They believe that is unfair to both themselves and the site as it shows nothing about the person who was allowed in and lays us open for further problems. 
It's been fun, but Elvi has now left the building

Keelin

My two pennies worth  :)
I quite like the idea of having to write a short Paragraph and not just using yes and no answers.
Not only would it show writing ability (though hopefully some allowance will be made for bad spelling as we have non English users too) but it might also help weed out any under age players.
Some thing we have to really be up on.
'The first and foremost erogenous zone is in the minnd'

Elvi

Dreamshard has added a paragraph to the 'what we need' intro made by Lilac.
We are ever hopeful......
It's been fun, but Elvi has now left the building

Hannibal

Quote from: Elvi on February 17, 2006, 12:44:36 AM
We are infact, discussing this issue amongst goddesses at the moment as well.
I take it, Hannibal, that you are, or were spurred to ask this question, after reading and posting on one particular persons introduction where I am trying to get a responce from her on the matter of limits?

Not exactly, but the thread got me thinking again ;). I had been wondering how to broach the subject for a while, unsure whether it was just my perception. I also had a bit more time on Elliquiy and gave the matter some thought, thinking that a discussion topic was the best way to handle it. If no one else thought it a problem our divine leaders did not need to have their time wasted ;D

Quote from: Elvi on February 17, 2006, 12:44:36 AM
You see, we goddesses are in a bit of a tuff position.

Yesterday I had several players up in arms because one of us had authroised two people who gave the cut and paste yes/no/probably/yeah/dunno  answers and nothing else.
They believe that is unfair to both themselves and the site as it shows nothing about the person who was allowed in and lays us open for further problems. 

Nothing like responsibility to prove the old adage that you can't please all of the people all of the time ;)

Quote from: Elvi on February 17, 2006, 02:52:32 AM
Dreamshard has added a paragraph to the 'what we need' intro made by Lilac.
We are ever hopeful......

An excellent solution that clarifies the situation for new members and makes it clear what is required. As far as I am concerned the problem is rectified
Happiness is a choice!

Ons and Offs: https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=5492.0

Elvi

*SMILES*
A happy customer, now to sort out the other 379 *grins*
It's been fun, but Elvi has now left the building