Corrupt a wish

[William Blake]

Granted, but you can't breathe air.

I wish I had a tree in my backyard.

[letsxflyy]

Granted. Your neighbor's tree fell over into your backyard, and they refuse to pay for any damages it may have caused.

I wish it were December.

[Desirable Outcome]

Accepted, but though the month may be December. It's hot as hell and Christmas got pushed up to April.


I wish I had a cat.

[William Blake]

Granted. You now have a cat.

(I kid, I'm a major cat person. The little beasts are fabulous!)

*ahem* Granted, but the cat is standoffish and hostile to you and all of your guests.

I wish I knew what to do with my life. :P

[Cosima]

Congratulations! You know exactly what to do with your life. Unfortunately you're incapable of actually doing it.


I wish that weekends lasted three days instead of two.

[William Blake]

Too close to home, right there!  ;D

Granted. However, all things in balance, the work week lasts six days.

I wish I had an actual heavy bag.

[Cosima]

-Laughs- Six days of official work week is one of the worst ideas I've ever heard. So kudos to you wish ruiner extraordinaire! ;-)

Also, you've come into possession of an actual heavy bag! One of superior quality and aesthetics. Unfortunately... There's no way to hang or stand or even move it. It has officially become a very inconvenient piece of decor.


I wish I had a new book.

[Deamonbane]

Granted! The book is brand new and blank, so you have to fill it in!

I wish I could run a marathon!

(Also, I've worked a 6-day work week, and if it comes with a three-day weekend, I'm in!)

[Cosima]

This seems like the perfect place to fill in that book..or get lost in something fun for the ever elusive 3 day weekend! -laughs-

Also, you can run a marathon! Unfortunately after each mile one of your teeth falls out. Starting with the front ones!

I wish the new book I wrote became The New York Times best seller.

[William Blake]

Granted, but it comes under scrutiny which leads to you being embroiled in some controversy.

I wish things made sense.

[Deamonbane]

Everything now makes sense. To you. It make no sense to everyone else, and they think you're crazy every time you try to explain.

I wish I could travel in time and space.

[William Blake]

Granted, but only to the extreme ends of it.

I wish I had a fan in my bedroom.

[Deamonbane]

Granted! You now have someone cheering you on, watching everything you do and commenting/criticizing. In your bedroom.

I wish I didn't have to work for a living...

[calculatedrisks]

Granted. You are killed instantly and don't have to work anymore.

I wish the money in my bank account doubles every day.

[William Blake]

Granted! You now have someone cheering you on, watching everything you do and commenting/criticizing. In your bedroom.

I specifically removed the word "ceiling" from my wish in the hopes of getting this. ^_^ Thank you.

Now, calculatedrisks... Granted, but I forgot to do it until you'd overdrafted, so now it's only your debt that's growing...

I wish I had a good place to SCUBA dive.

[calculatedrisks]

Damnit due, you had one job! ;D

Granted, it is a beautiful spot, the water is great, the fauna too. Especially the flesh eating bugs from Australia.

I wish I could control weather.

[ladyfickle]

Granted, but when it's not your day, you can't produce a single, decent thunder.

I wish the Handsome Knight will fall madly in love with me.

[Flames]

Granted... but a handsome knight is still a knight. He is slain in battle before he can confess his love for you.

I wish I did not require sleep to feel rested.

[himawari]

Granted. But now you need to drink 10 cups of green tea to feel rested.

I wish I can fall asleep easily.

[Deamonbane]

Granted! But now waking up is as difficult as falling asleep used to be.

I wish next week wouldn't come.

[Stone]

Granted. Next week ends up blueballed and spills over into the week after, resulting in gravity's rainbow.

I wish gravity's rainbow did not require underwear gnomes to function.

[himawari]

Granted. But now Gravity's Rainbow needs Naked Gnomes to function.

I wish it is forever a weekend.

[Left Palm of Saint Michae]

Hail 2 U!

Your weekend is now Groundhog Day, and there's nothing you can do about it!

I wish I had fast internet.

[William Blake]

You have fast internet, but all your favorite sites go down.

I wish I had a bag of infinitely refilling Twizzlers.

[Left Palm of Saint Michae]

Hail 2 U!

You have a bag of infinitely refilling Twizzlers, but it can't be opened.

I wish I could be in two places at once.