A Challenge For English Speakers:)

[adventurer]

   
 If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be
speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in
the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer
 six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud.

Try them yourself!  Have fun!

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

– B. Shaw

[Ket]

That's awesome!  And I made it through it all.  With a couple of stumbles...

[adventurer]

Ket...glad you could not hear me:)

As English isnt my native language (I am German) you would have fun to hear me stumble even more:):)

A.

[Ket]

-grins-

Now I want to hear! 

[adventurer]

Would be ashamed to death:):)

[Ket]

Of?  My German is atrocious.  So there, we're even.

[adventurer]

A Voice component should be implemented at E:):)

[Ket]

That's what messengers are for though.

[adventurer]

Usually I only chat via Skype. (PLus Text protocol). Are there -easy for users! -any simple chat options you would recommend?

[Ket]

I pretty much stick with Skype and Yahoo. 

[adventurer]

Hopefully posting here will soon be possible again:)

[Eleanor]

I struggled with Terpsichore, I had to go look it up... but other than that I think I did alright. It would be interesting to hear people recording themselves do a verse of this....

[adventurer]

omg...please do not require this:)

[Eleanor]

*laughs* kidnap an easy verse whilst no one else has done it? I'm sure you're not as terrible as you say you are, but of course it isn't compulsory or anything so no worries ^^

[adventurer]

:):)at least I would not be as extreme as the French who is quoted:)

[Ket]

I actually thought about recording it....but no one wants to hear me stumble... or my high pitched little girly voice.  And besides, I'm such a perfectionist that I'd probably record it over and over again, about 20 times, before I was either finally satisfied with it, or just gave up and said 'that'll do'. 

:):)at least I would not be as extreme as the French who is quoted:)

Haha!  I still want to hear you say it. 

[Eleanor]

I actually thought about recording it....but no one wants to hear me stumble... or my high pitched little girly voice.  And besides, I'm such a perfectionist that I'd probably record it over and over again, about 20 times, before I was either finally satisfied with it, or just gave up and said 'that'll do'. 

Haha!  I still want to hear you say it. 

I think it would be quite fun actually, and what's wrong with high pitched girly voices? (possessing a bit one myself...)

o.O and that's some serious perfectionism issues...

[Ket]

Yeah... I'm a tad bit OCD.

And a tad bit worried about how people hear my voice.

[Eleanor]

just a tad OCD...?

and fear not, no one would make you! ^^ It will probably end up that no one fancies doing it anyway

[Ket]

Only slightly.  About a 12 on a scale of 1 - 10. 

[Eleanor]

*nods* very moderate then....

[Ket]

Luckily, I have absolutely no clue how to record a file.  Otherwise I'd already be attempting it.

[Eleanor]

*giggles*  :-X

[Paradox]

Thank you, adventurer. My brain came in its pants because of this.

[concessionis]

Very neat! Thanks for sharing.

[Bliss]

omg. Asscreamcones!

[Kalen]

I'm soooo doing a recording of me saying this.

[Inkidu]

I like tongue twisters! :D

[adventurer]

Inkidu:

Please say Kridaratnam:):)

[Ket]

Okay, so here you go.  Don't murder me!  It's a little over five minutes long...

And yes, at the end I pronounce Psyche as [sahyk] instead of [sahy-kee].  Both are technically correct, though the latter is the correct pronunciation for the way it is written in the poem.  My mistake.

Me saying this tongue twister!

[Greenthorn]

Ummm oh boy...must be the difference of states...because I say a lot of those words differently Ket!

*giggles*

Oh and I so love your voice!!

[adventurer]

Ket..a wonderful voice!

[Caeli]

I loved this! It was great fun. xDD
I thought about recording it, but I'm really supposed to be studying for a midterm at this moment... *flees*

(maybe later...)

[Jay]

I got through the hole thing before I realized the built in windows recorder only went to 60 secs. :(

[Paradox]

That's a much softer inflection of your voice than I've heard before. You did damned well with it!

[Ket]

Stupid darn phone didn't send what I had typed!

I had to push myself to say aunt like ant.  I've never said it that way, though I know quite a few people who do. 

-blushes-  Aww thanks.  I always thought my voice was high pitched with a tiny bit of gravely-ness to it.

That's a much softer inflection of your voice than I've heard before. You did damned well with it!

Probably because I was speaking softly and slowly.

[Eleanor]

Okay, so here you go.  Don't murder me!  It's a little over five minutes long...

And yes, at the end I pronounce Psyche as [sahyk] instead of [sahy-kee].  Both are technically correct, though the latter is the correct pronunciation for the way it is written in the poem.  My mistake.

Me saying this tongue twister!

oh wow the whole thing! I like your voice, what sort of american accent is that? ^^

[Ket]

oh wow the whole thing! I like your voice, what sort of american accent is that? ^^

Ummm...Southern Virginian?

[Kurzyk]

Lovely voice Ket :) And well done!

[blankslate33]

Wow, this is really fun and a great find. I think some of the words are traps, though - for instance, bass could be pronounced like the instrument or like the fish. I tripped up there and then was second-guessing myself the whole way through. But I still got most of them right!

Funny how one word could be pronounced different ways. I wonder if Texans and New Yorkers would argue about how "Houston" is pronounced? :)

[Caeli]

Ooh, I did one too xO!!!! *totally excited <333*

It only took me three tries to get it right, though I did have to look up Islington and Balmoral, as well a couple of the other words.

*laughs* Actually, the reason I messed up the third time was because my housemate interrupted and I started speaking in Chinese midway through.

Caeli & The Phonetic Labyrinth

Don't laugh too much! >>;

[Greenthorn]

Ooh, I did one too xO

It only took me three tries to get it right, though I did have to look up Islington and Balmoral, as well a couple of the other words.

*laughs* Actually, the reason I messed up the third time was because my housemate interrupted and I started speaking in Chinese midway through.

Caeli & The Phonetic Labyrinth

*going to listen*

And yeah...I didn't do it because I don't know some of those words either *laughs*...and you heard my voice Caeli...they'd all run screaming!!

[Caeli]

*going to listen*

And yeah...I didn't do it because I don't know some of those words either *laughs*...and you heard my voice Caeli...they'd all run screaming!!

No they wouldn't! *giggles* You're completely exaggerating the horror of it, and I liked your voice >.>;

[Greenthorn]

No they wouldn't! *giggles* You're completely exaggerating the horror of it, and I liked your voice >.>;

*laughs*

Uh huh...you and Ket with your sweet voices then my obnoxious scratchy one...sure ::)

Of course I've heard you speak before so yours isn't too much of a suprise (with how you say the poem)

This is fun...we need more people to do this!! ;D

[Kalen]

I promised I would, I just need to find the time!

[Greenthorn]

I promised I would, I just need to find the time!

Well I've heard your voice too...so yours won't be too shocking either!

[Caeli]

Actually, what would be REALLY fun... is to have a whole bunch of people say it, and then make a mix so that a different person is saying each line of this thing. ;D

[Greenthorn]

Actually, what would be REALLY fun... is to have a whole bunch of people say it, and then make a mix so that a different person is saying each line of this thing. ;D

Haha sure would!!

[Josietta]

*claps* yay!! You girls did great with that! I think i'd goof up half through and just keep going. The heck with re-recording. haha.. i'd probably laugh at myself too. But the different line each is a good idea! Also, we need more guys doing this! I'll do my own tomorrow, when i can speak above a whisper, or rather later today now that I look at the clock. I know K said he would, what about some of the others? I'm sure some of you guys speak quite well!

[Josietta]

Uneditted... Uncut... breathless.. sweaty.. restless Josie tryin this tongue twisting challenge of doom!

http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/8/1572554/jeeepers.mp3

[Greenthorn]

My god the three of you sound almost exactly alike!!

[Tawni Black]

I had to look some of those words up to pronounce them, as I had never encountered them before.

[Josietta]

My god the three of you sound almost exactly alike!!

They were probably tons more eloquent than I was. hehe.. i didn't bother editting or redoing it when i screwed up.. i just kept going .. *snickersnort* .. i hate to hear what it sounds like. I didn't bother, cuz i dont like hearing myself.

[Kurzyk]

Nice job everyone! This is something I'm definetly doing as soon as I get motivated and figure out how to record it. hehe

[Kalen]

They were probably tons more eloquent than I was. hehe.. i didn't bother editting or redoing it when i screwed up.. i just kept going .. *snickersnort* .. i hate to hear what it sounds like. I didn't bother, cuz i dont like hearing myself.

I like hearing you enough for the two of us, so it all works out.

[Greenthorn]

Josie..your mic did cut out a few times though...and seriously...the 3 of you sound really alike!

[Kalen]

One shot.  A few mistakes.

http://www5.speedyshare.com/data/879187218/13694372/92542077/Pronunciation.wav

[Caeli]

They were probably tons more eloquent than I was. hehe.. i didn't bother editting or redoing it when i screwed up.. i just kept going .. *snickersnort* .. i hate to hear what it sounds like. I didn't bother, cuz i dont like hearing myself.

Seriously... you have such a beautiful voice! *sighs* And it comes with the pretty face, too... *melts into a puddle*

Though, your mic going in and out hurt my ears. *chuckles* But editing! Man, that's doing too much effort for a poem. ^3^

My god the three of you sound almost exactly alike!!

Surely not... Both Ket's and Josi's voices are lower and huskier. They have voices suited for singing!
I'm the one who sounds like a kid!

One shot.  A few mistakes.

http://www5.speedyshare.com/data/879187218/13694372/92542077/Pronunciation.wav

Ooh... *plays it a few more times* I like your voice, too...
Definitely melt-worthy. *grins*

[Josietta]

Seriously... you have such a pretty voice! *sighs*

Though, your mic going in and out hurt my ears. *chuckles* But editing! Man, that's doing too much effort for a poem. ^3^

Awww im sorry.. i do need to get a new mic.. this one is crap.. and thank you for the compliment *hugs* I could hear a slight accent in yours.. was very sweet! >.<

[Caeli]

Awww im sorry.. i do need to get a new mic.. this one is crap.. and thank you for the compliment *hugs* I could hear a slight accent in yours.. was very sweet! >.<

Agh, well, bad mic and all...  you have such a beautiful voice. xP And you can sing! AND you're so pretty *_* You put stars in my eyes, Josi... literally! Stop being so wonderful, or I'll start having a crush on you >.>;;;;

Accent? Oh nohz! I've never thought that I had an accent... I've lived in the States all my life! *laughs* What kind of accent was it? Maybe it's just a case of East Coast vs. West Coast, or Midwest vs. West Coast...?

Or maybe I just live with a bunch of other people who speak the same way I do, so I don't think I have an accent? xDD

[MusicNeverDies]

I decided to jump on the bangwagon. :P

My mic is odd, and brings my voice down in pitch from like 0:09-0:25. But other then that, a few mess ups purely on my part, as I kept forgetting that people need to breathe...

http://www.speedyshare.com/684637585.html

[Kalen]

I decided to jump on the bangwagon. :P

...  just DIES.

[MusicNeverDies]

...  just DIES.

..... I meant bandwagon....

*crawls into a hole*

[Paradox]

Good lord, it did go husky at 0:09! You did a good job though.

[Kurzyk]

*laughs*


Nicely done!

[Kalen]

Demonic possession!

[MusicNeverDies]

Good lord, it did go husky at 0:09! You did a good job though.

Heh, that one wasn't bad, I was doing another recording and you know those distorted phone voices from movies? It was that. 100%. Then it shifted to a 25 year old man's voice. That was just WEIRD.

Demonic possession!

*head spins around and vomits on Kalen* ;)

*laughs*


Nicely done!

Thank ya. :)

[Greenthorn]

Okay...well I'm so not doing this now!!  What the hell?!?  Am I the only one without the really girly, sweet voice?

*cries and goes into mute mode*

:D ::)

[Ket]

Am I the only one without the really girly, sweet voice?

-grins-  You should hear me when I'm out partying...drunk or not.  That girly sweet voice totally disappears.

[MusicNeverDies]

Am I the only one without the really girly, sweet voice?

*notes that Kalen was the second last person to post their attempt on here....* *snicker*

[Paradox]

I've heard Ket in her more normal voice; to be honest, I would never have known that the woman in the recording was her if she hadn't said so! It's a nice voice though, as is yours, GT. Sweet, girly, and meek aren't always a good thing  :P

[Dawg]

Finished the Budget Proposal for 2009 and got my Roster reconciled and submitted for this weekend, no time for NaNo so I thought I would jump on the Bangwagon here

Here goes:
http://www.speedyshare.com/348228581.html

[Dawg]

OK, so after posting my own, I finally got to listen to the others

MND your voice id gorgeous up until the puberty thing hit, but you did a great job.

Kalen, excellent job, did you ever work in radio, you have the voice for it, great annunciation.

Caeli, OMG, I never thought to look them up, just went through it, great job and beautiful voice.

Josietta, you know how I feel about your voice - more songs - please

Ket, great job and way to jump out in front, all those choir practices paid off, your voice is beautiful too.

And lastly, Thanks Adventurer, that was a lot of fun.

[Kalen]

For anyone struggling with Windows XP, which has a recording time of 60 seconds...

Open Sound Recorder

Record NOTHING for sixty seconds.  That's right, nothing at all.  Save that as Blank.wav.



Next, stay in Sound Recorder, and hit Edit --> Insert file.



Browse to where you saved Blank.wav, and hit open to insert it.




Each time you do an iteration of Edit --> Insert, you get yourself another minute.

I myself took almost exactly 5 minutes to say this little monologue, and I'm a fast speaker.  I'd suggest at LEAST six.

[Dawg]

Each time you do an iteration of Edit --> Insert, you get yourself another minute.
I myself took almost exactly 5 minutes to say this little monologue, and I'm a fast speaker.  I'd suggest at LEAST six.

Mine took 00:07:01 Minutes, but I read out loud slower than you, I would suggest to anyone trying this method listening to at least a portion of Kalen's and Mine and comparing speed we speak and compare that to your own, then make the judgment.

[Josietta]

Or you could just make it 10 mins and stop the recording when you are done.

Also there were questions about sound settings...

You'll have to go to your control panel to your sound settings. Then there should be an option for recording and speakers. If you select the recording option it will show you your type of mic you have. select it and then either hit properties or configure. Configure will allow you to test your mic with their system to see if its working properly or if the actual property volume needs adjusted. Properties will allow you to manually set your mic volume higher or if need be turn on the mic boost (which will make the mic pick up sounds more easily though it may pick up background as well).

The purpose of the sound settings is to make your mic more efficient with actually setting the boost if needed (which some stem mics need)
and it lets you test your mic to see if its working the way you want. 

[Kalen]

Or you could just make it 10 mins and stop the recording when you are done.

In one recording I made, I only used 1/2 the time... and it kept going with the other 1/2 as blank space.  It's REALLY a dumb program.

[Josietta]

In one recording I made, I only used 1/2 the time... and it kept going with the other 1/2 as blank space.  It's REALLY a dumb program.

Its not dumb in Vista :P  its unlimited and doesn't "keep going" :P

[Kalen]

So... you're saying there's something Vista does BETTER than XP?

But... the Mac guy on the commercials!  He's so much cooler than stodgy old PC!!

[Dawg]

Go with this (they have a freeware version download)

http://www.nch.com.au/software/soundrec.html?gclid=CNm0lLH3gZcCFQEuxwodqCjO-w

[Paradox]

I may need to adjust my mic or use another program; either way, here's my first try.

http://www.speedyshare.com/301546418.html

I'll probably go back and do another one to correct a couple of mispronunciations.

[Kurzyk]

Wow thanks Kalen! Was trying to figure out how to do that today. Awesome.

[Kalen]

A little bird told me you wanted a hand, Kurzyk.  She knew I had XP and had gone through these hoops, so she asked me to tell you. 

I decided to put it in here instead, so everyone had it.  Oh, and she made me do pretty screenshots too! 

A harsh mistress, but a fair one!   :D

[Dawg]

I may need to adjust my mic or use another program; either way, here's my first try.
http://www.speedyshare.com/301546418.html
I'll probably go back and do another one to correct a couple of mispronunciations.

Wow, you speak fast too Para, but you speak well and you annunciation is very good.  Excellent job.

I didn't even look up what I may have said wrong, but may go back and try that and if so then re-record when I get the chance.  If anyone does notice any blatant mispronunciations before then, please let me know so I can make sure to correct them.

[Paradox]

Thanks Dawg! People often comment on the speed of my speech; I even tried to slow down for the recording  :P

[Kurzyk]

A little bird told me you wanted a hand, Kurzyk.  She knew I had XP and had gone through these hoops, so she asked me to tell you. 

I decided to put it in here instead, so everyone had it.  Oh, and she made me do pretty screenshots too! 

A harsh mistress, but a fair one!   :D

*laughs* You guys rock. :)


Paradox ~ Nice job! Cool voice and it was impressive how clear your words were with how quickly you spoke.

[Dawg]

Thanks Dawg! People often comment on the speed of my speech; I even tried to slow down for the recording  :P

That takes a lot of practice, have you ever heard of Toastmasters?  Look around for a local club and see if you can get involved, a lot of people think its dorky or geeky, but with your knowledge of the language, the practice of getting up in front of a known crowd that you know is accepting and will give you honest critiques afterwards can help you mold your speeches so you are not as nervous and can project clearly and slowly; that way your audience can hang on every word you write.

I go at 90 mph all the time and used to speak the same, but they helped me to slow it down and speak much clearer, that is why mine took 7 as opposed to your and Kalen's 5.  Nothing wrong with speaking fast, but I know you are getting to the point in your education where you need to give a lot of speeches and I would hate to see your talent for written word suffer upon your translation into spoken word when something so simple as more practice could avoid it.

[Kurzyk]

Hmm can't seem to play yours back Dawg.

[Dawg]

Try this link, same file re-uploaded

http://www.speedyshare.com/446584784.html

[Paradox]

I'm already immersed in a class on public speaking. That was only my first attempt at the poem, off the cuff. That's why I said a second attempt with proper preparation is in order!


Does that site delete the file after a while?

[Dawg]

I'm already immersed in a class on public speaking. That was only my first attempt at the poem, off the cuff. That's why I said a second attempt with proper preparation is in order!

Does that site delete the file after a while?

I think it does, but not within hours. 

I figured you were taking as class, hence your need to prepare and do so many speeches lately; you will learn a lot more from a formal class (You really don't learn much from Toastmasters), it just presents you with a a ready and captive audience with feedback and critique afterwards to practice what you learn in your class.  Most meetings are only 45minutes long and take place every other week, mostly on lunch breaks - but that depends on each club.  Just a suggestion for more practice.

Mine was first attempt too, at 3:00am after working a 14 hour day and coming home to do paperwork.  But now you guys have me worried no about mis-pronunciation and I don't know if I can go back and research every word there.  Did you listen to mine, were there a lot of errors?  I can maybe try it again tonight.

[Paradox]

I heard a few, but they aren't jumping to mind right now. I'll give it a whirl tonight and let you know if you'd like. You did better than I did either way.

[Ket]

Good heavens Para!  What happened to your voice?!

When did you grow a pair?  -giggle-

[Josietta]

I may need to adjust my mic or use another program; either way, here's my first try.

http://www.speedyshare.com/301546418.html

I'll probably go back and do another one to correct a couple of mispronunciations.

Wow.. your voice is deeper than I expected. But very nice. *nodnod*

I couldn't get MND's to work at all. But everyone did really well. I think i'm the only one that cursed the darn thing lol.

[Paradox]

Good heavens Para!  What happened to your voice?!

When did you grow a pair?  -giggle-

That's precisely what I wondered upon first hearing your recording (minus the part about growing a pair).

I told you that I speak softly on the phone!

[Ket]

Your voice is deep over the phone, but it's crazily deeper on the recording!

[Dawg]

Good heavens Para!  What happened to your voice?!
When did you grow a pair?  -giggle-

Now now Ket, he did it didn't he *snickers* you know his voice better than I

I heard a few, but they aren't jumping to mind right now. I'll give it a whirl tonight and let you know if you'd like. You did better than I did either way.

Thanks, and if you have the chance I would appreciate it. I can think of one or two off the top of my head that I said oh crap when I was reading and at least one line that I said the last word first and recovered quickly by saying the beginning right away, but I would need to listen and read through to catch that part.

[MusicNeverDies]

*snicker* Para, you sound like 1000 times deeper then I expected. *hands you helium*

[Kalen]

Actually, the way Para's boyish face contrasts with the deep voice reminds me of someone... who... oh, wait.

Rick Astley!   ;D

[Paradox]

*hangs head in shame*

That was a low blow, Kalen!


Actually, for half a second, I considered slipping into Rick Astley lyrics halfway through the reading. Either that or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.

Obviously, restraint triumphed in the end.

By the way, I was doing some research on the actual poem and found that it wasn't written by "B. Shaw" (originally, I thought that meant George Bernard Shaw). It's true origins can be found here:

http://www.spellingsociety.org/journals/j17/caos.php

and a copy of the poem that actually gives him credit:

http://www.mipmip.org/tidbits/pronunciation.shtml

[Caeli]

For those of you with recording problems, I highly recommend Audacity.

"Audacity® is free, open source software for recording and editing sounds. It is available for Mac OS X, Microsoft Windows, GNU/Linux, and other operating systems."

I use a different program if I'm trying to mix songs and stuff, but Audacity is really simple to use, and for the purposes of recording something, it works sufficiently well. :)

[Dawg]

OK Paradox, I can see why you found this one, and your nickname is even in this one Paramour.  Now who else is up for the next level? 

Anyhoo, I sped up slightly on this one and it still came out at 15.5 minutes, much longer with many more trips and falls to avoid.

Nice find Parachute *handshake*

Here is My shot at it:
http://www.speedyshare.com/400296864.html

Dearest creature in creation
Studying English pronunciation,
    I will teach you in my verse
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy;
    Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;
    Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.
Pray, console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!
    Just compare heart, hear and heard,
    Dies and diet, lord and word.
Sword and sward, retain and Britain
(Mind the latter how it's written).
    Made has not the sound of bade,
    Say - said, pay - paid, laid but plaid.
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as vague and ague,
    But be careful how you speak,
    Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,
Previous, precious, fuchsia, via
Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;
    Woven, oven, how and low,
    Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.
Say, expecting fraud and trickery:
Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,
    Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,
    Missiles, similes, reviles.
Wholly, holly, signal, signing,
Same, examining, but mining,
    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
    Solar, mica, war and far.
From "desire": desirable - admirable from "admire",
Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,
    Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,
    Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.
    Gertrude, German, wind and wind,
    Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,
Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,
Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.
    This phonetic labyrinth
    Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.
Have you ever yet endeavoured
To pronounce revered and severed,
    Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,
    Peter, petrol and patrol?
Billet does not end like ballet;
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
    Blood and flood are not like food,
    Nor is mould like should and would.
Banquet is not nearly parquet,
Which exactly rhymes with khaki.
    Discount, viscount, load and broad,
    Toward, to forward, to reward,
Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?
Right! Your pronunciation's OK.
    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
    Friend and fiend, alive and live.
Is your R correct in higher?
Keats asserts it rhymes with Thalia.
    Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,
    Buoyant, minute, but minute.
Say abscission with precision,
Now: position and transition;
    Would it tally with my rhyme
    If I mentioned paradigm?
Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,
But cease, crease, grease and greasy?
    Cornice, nice, valise, revise,
    Rabies, but lullabies.
Of such puzzling words as nauseous,
Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,
    You'll envelop lists, I hope,
    In a linen envelope.
Would you like some more? You'll have it!
Affidavit, David, davit.
    To abjure, to perjure. Sheik
    Does not sound like Czech but ache.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.
    We say hallowed, but allowed,
    People, leopard, towed but vowed.
Mark the difference, moreover,
Between mover, plover, Dover.
    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
    Chalice, but police and lice,
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
    Petal, penal, and canal,
    Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,
Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit
Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",
    But it is not hard to tell
    Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.
Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,
Timber, climber, bullion, lion,
    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
    Senator, spectator, mayor,
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
Has the A of drachm and hammer.
    Pussy, hussy and possess,
    Desert, but desert, address.
Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants
Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.
    Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,
    Cow, but Cowper, some and home.
"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker",
Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",
    Making, it is sad but true,
    In bravado, much ado.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
    Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,
    Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.
Arsenic, specific, scenic,
Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.
    Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,
    Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.
Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,
Make the latter rhyme with eagle.
    Mind! Meandering but mean,
    Valentine and magazine.
And I bet you, dear, a penny,
You say mani-(fold) like many,
    Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,
    Tier (one who ties), but tier.
Arch, archangel; pray, does erring
Rhyme with herring or with stirring?
    Prison, bison, treasure trove,
    Treason, hover, cover, cove,
Perseverance, severance. Ribald
Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.
    Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,
    Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.
Don't be down, my own, but rough it,
And distinguish buffet, buffet;
    Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,
    Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.
Say in sounds correct and sterling
Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.
    Evil, devil, mezzotint,
    Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)
Now you need not pay attention
To such sounds as I don't mention,
    Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,
    Rhyming with the pronoun yours;
Nor are proper names included,
Though I often heard, as you did,
    Funny rhymes to unicorn,
    Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.
No, my maiden, coy and comely,
I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.
    No. Yet Froude compared with proud
    Is no better than McLeod.
But mind trivial and vial,
Tripod, menial, denial,
    Troll and trolley, realm and ream,
    Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.
Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely
May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,
    But you're not supposed to say
    Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.
Had this invalid invalid
Worthless documents? How pallid,
    How uncouth he, couchant, looked,
    When for Portsmouth I had booked!
Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,
Paramour, enamoured, flighty,
    Episodes, antipodes,
    Acquiesce, and obsequies.
Please don't monkey with the geyser,
Don't peel 'taters with my razor,
    Rather say in accents pure:
    Nature, stature and mature.
Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,
Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,
    Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,
    Wan, sedan and artisan.
The TH will surely trouble you
More than R, CH or W.
    Say then these phonetic gems:
    Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.
Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,
There are more but I forget 'em -
    Wait! I've got it: Anthony,
    Lighten your anxiety.
The archaic word albeit
Does not rhyme with eight - you see it;
    With and forthwith, one has voice,
    One has not, you make your choice.
Shoes, goes, does [1]. Now first say: finger;
Then say: singer, ginger, linger.
    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,
    Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,
Hero, heron, query, very,
Parry, tarry, fury, bury,
    Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,
    Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.
Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,
Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners
    Holm you know, but noes, canoes,
    Puisne, truism, use, to use?
Though the difference seems little,
We say actual, but victual,
    Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,
    Put, nut, granite, and unite
Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,
Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
    Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,
    Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.
Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific;
    Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,
    Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,
Next omit, which differs from it
    Bona fide, alibi
    Gyrate, dowry and awry.
Sea, idea, guinea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,
    Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion with battalion,
    Rally with ally; yea, ye,
    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.
    Never guess - it is not safe,
    We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.
Starry, granary, canary,
Crevice, but device, and eyrie,
    Face, but preface, then grimace,
    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;
    Ear, but earn; and ere and tear
    Do not rhyme with here but heir.
Mind the O of off and often
Which may be pronounced as orphan,
    With the sound of saw and sauce;
    Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.
Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?
Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.
    Respite, spite, consent, resent.
    Liable, but Parliament.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,
    Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,
    Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.
A of valour, vapid, vapour,
S of news (compare newspaper),
    G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,
    I of antichrist and grist,
Differ like diverse and divers,
Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.
    Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,
    Polish, Polish, poll and poll.
Pronunciation - think of Psyche! -
Is a paling, stout and spiky.
    Won't it make you lose your wits
    Writing groats and saying 'grits'?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel
Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,
    Islington, and Isle of Wight,
    Housewife, verdict and indict.
Don't you think so, reader, rather,
Saying lather, bather, father?
    Finally, which rhymes with enough,
    Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??
Hiccough has the sound of sup...
My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

.

[Paradox]

Yeah, perhaps B. Shaw just shortened G. Nolst Trenite's original version of The Chaos.

[Dawg]

Apparently so, you should give that one a try, even practicing it once before I did it I stumbled in a few places.

[Caity]

Dawg... None of yours play for me.   :'(

[Dawg]

Dawg... None of yours play for me.   :'(

Damn Dang, it will play with the Quicktime plugin in Firefox if you have that, or have you tried downloading it and opening it in "window Media Player"?

I will try remixing it into a different format later tonight, i think I used the MPG3 overlay.  maybe you don't have the right codec.

[Caity]

I have quicktime and firefox... but still not working for some reason.  It plays Para's... But it won't play yours..

*tries again*

Edit:  It just loads endlessly. 

[Josietta]

I have quicktime and firefox... but still not working for some reason.  It plays Para's... But it won't play yours..

*tries again*

Edit:  It just loads endlessly. 

MNDs did that same thing to me.


I'd be willing to try that one, but geeeeeezus its long! Talk about using breathing points!

[Eleanor]

Wow there's lots of people posting their voices, I'm way behind

Caeli - Islington and Balmoral are understandable, they're random places in the UK. Your voice is so nice ^^
Josietta - It kept going wierd (and you kept laughing :) ) but what I did hear sounded very good.
Kalen - It is terpsichore, you said it right, lovely voice
Dawg - I don't know why but I didn't imagine you voice like that ^^ I can't remember any mispronunciations
Para- Epic voice though you speak rather quickly!

*stares at the new scarily long poem* eep! it might be beyond me...

I've finally got hold of a mic so I'll be adding my version soon... (the short one for starters I think)

[Dawg]

MNDs did that same thing to me.
I'd be willing to try that one, but geeeeeezus its long! Talk about using breathing points!

You need to wait until after a 14 hour day at work, then push out 1,500 words for Nano, another 1,000 or so for games, beat yourself up because you think you could have done so much more, let the dog out and when they would rather chase the possum than come back in run out in below freezing weather in your flannel pajama's to get them back in, sit down and look at your clock and realize you have three hours before you need to get up and start over again, then say F&*k it and go for it.  Then you won't be worrying about the length :)

Wow there's lots of people posting their voices, I'm way behind

Caeli - Islington and Balmoral are understandable, they're random places in the UK. Your voice is so nice ^^
Josietta - It kept going wierd (and you kept laughing :) ) but what I did hear sounded very good.
Kalen - It is terpsichore, you said it right, lovely voice
Dawg - I don't know why but I didn't imagine you voice like that ^^ I can't remember any mispronunciations
Para- Epic voice though you speak rather quickly!

*stares at the new scarily long poem* eep! it might be beyond me...

I've finally got hold of a mic so I'll be adding my version soon... (the short one for starters I think)

One I am looking forward to hearing your and too, I hope you were pleasantly surprised by my voice - no mispronunciations that you could spot (thanks)

[Eleanor]

You need to wait until after a 14 hour day at work, then push out 1,500 words for Nano, another 1,000 or so for games, beat yourself up because you think you could have done so much more, let the dog out and when they would rather chase the possum than come back in run out in below freezing weather in your flannel pajama's to get them back in, sit down and look at your clock and realize you have three hours before you need to get up and start over again, then say F&*k it and go for it.  Then you won't be worrying about the length :)

One I am looking forward to hearing your and too, I hope you were pleasantly surprised by my voice - no mispronunciations that you could spot (thanks)

Yes ^^ I like your voice!

Here's mine! It doesn't sound like the voice in my head.

http://www.speedyshare.com/670286431.html

I struggled to say finger for some reason...

[Paradox]

Yeah I struggled with that one as well. I think it's because Singer follows it, and our minds are looking for that slight variation in pronunciation ahead of time.

The voice we hear played back never sounds like the one we hear in our heads  :P

You have a nice accent! It's interesting to hear these words spoken in it, since every recording so far has been from across the ocean.

Dawg- I listened again last night. I've forgotten the errors again though...there were hardly any, so don't worru about it!

[Eleanor]

Yeah I struggled with that one as well. I think it's because Singer follows it, and our minds are looking for that slight variation in pronunciation ahead of time.

The voice we hear played back never sounds like the one we hear in our heads  :P

You have a nice accent! It's interesting to hear these words spoken in it, since every recording so far has been from across the ocean.

Dawg- I listened again last night. I've forgotten the errors again though...there were hardly any, so don't worru about it!

oh thank you :) and I had noticed the utter lack of english people, know any that can be persuaded to to take part?

[Caity]

MND's loads endlessly for me too...  :-\

[Kurzyk]

Very lovely Eleanor! Nice job. :)

[Dawg]

Yes ^^ I like your voice!
Here's mine! It doesn't sound like the voice in my head.
http://www.speedyshare.com/670286431.html
I struggled to say finger for some reason...

No struggle there at all love, thought it quite spiffing myself. Your voice and accent are dreamy and I didn't notice any errors worth mentioning.

Excellent job

[Eleanor]

spiffing eh? *giggles* thanks Kurzyk and Dawg

[Josietta]

Wow there's lots of people posting their voices, I'm way behind
Josietta - It kept going wierd (and you kept laughing :) ) but what I did hear sounded very good.

Yeah that would be my stupid mic. I got a new one now though, so it should work better. And as for the laughing, that would have been due to my silliness, lack of sleep, and the fact it was 3am.  Thank you though. I'll be redoing the long one with the new mic.

[MusicNeverDies]

I didn't realize mine was making so many problems. I shall look into it!

[Eleanor]

I decided to jump on the bangwagon. :P

My mic is odd, and brings my voice down in pitch from like 0:09-0:25. But other then that, a few mess ups purely on my part, as I kept forgetting that people need to breathe...

http://www.speedyshare.com/684637585.html

Oh I totally missed yours! Sorry! The change in your voice with the mic is really odd, I like your voice the rest of the time and I didn't notice any mistakes

[Josietta]

Okay. heres the longer (and more difficult) one.. geezus i sucked.. i even said so in my recording lol.. pardon my very pooor pronunciation!

http://www.fileden.com/files/2007/11/8/1572554/horrrridpronunciation.mp3 

[Kurzyk]

Ahh came through a lot clearer and wow that looks tough. Was reading a long as you were reciting. Nice job!

[Dawg]

Woot! Haven't heard it yet Josietta but I am sure you did great. Yes the longer version is tougher, I hope some of the others follow our lead on that one too

On the way home and prep time for this weekend, but I will be listening to yours before I sign out tomorrow morning

[Kalen]

I'll do it again... this weekend.

[Caity]

How about reading something out loud... like from a favorite book?  Or I always liked reading "The Raven" out loud.  :P 

My cam has a built in mic, but I've never used it, not sure how.   *shrugs*

[Dawg]

Woot! Haven't heard it yet Josietta but I am sure you did great. Yes the longer version is tougher, I hope some of the others follow our lead on that one too

On the way home and prep time for this weekend, but I will be listening to yours before I sign out tomorrow morning

Excellent job, even if you had the pauses and go backs Josieatta.  Your enunciation is excellent and the pace made it very easy to follow.

I'll do it again... this weekend.

Looking forward to it when I return.

How about reading something out loud... like from a favorite book?  Or I always liked reading "The Raven" out loud.  :P 

My cam has a built in mic, but I've never used it, not sure how.   *shrugs*

The Raven is an excellent read, but posting that in here would be hijacking the thread.  Of course there could be an Elliquiy version of it, we could use that and start a new thread.  There is also the Boom De a Da song thread that a few of the ladies here have sang to.

[Josietta]

Excellent job, even if you had the pauses and go backs Josieatta.  Your enunciation is excellent and the pace made it very easy to follow.

Looking forward to it when I return.

The Raven is an excellent read, but posting that in here would be hijacking the thread.  Of course there could be an Elliquiy version of it, we could use that and start a new thread.  There is also the Boom De a Da song thread that a few of the ladies here have sang to.

Well when I record these sorts of things, I do it raw. I don't read it before I start recording. I just record as I read it for the first time. Hence the pauses and "go backs." I was slow just so i could read it properly and hoped I wouldn't make as many mistakes.. but being tired attributed to that as well. I'm glad you liked what you did hear though. The new mic worked out well then, from what i've been told. Much better than the last one.

[Dawg]

Yes the new mic did work well, much clearer.  I read through it once but that was because I scraped it from the website and it would paste directly into the thread here so I had to massage it a bit in an editor before I put it in the thread (and Bade is pronounced the same as Bad, that is why that sounded funky.  I had the same issue with "Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki" I pronounced it as pahr-key instead of pahr-kee, not sure which is right but the latter rhymes so it must be the correct version, unless we are all wrong and it is supposed to be ka-key.

Good job

[adventurer]

I just added, for more confusion, this Euro-English joke:

https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=24266.msg951810#new

[DarkestStryke]

I've just stumbled on this.. managed to work through it all in one go, although whether or not I got some of the words right, as in my ignorance some of that I don't know how to pronouce properly  :-[

[Paradox]

Merriam Webster's online dictionary has audio of all the words' pronunciations, as do many other online sites of that sort.

[Ket]

OK Paradox, I can see why you found this one, and your nickname is even in this one Paramour.  Now who else is up for the next level? 


[Really long poem was here]

Ohmygawsh!!!  What an awesome find Dawg.  I'll have to try this tonight once the jets stop buzzing my house. 

[Maeven]

Speedyshare says my file is too large to upload. It's 60mb and the free use only allows 30.  Did y'all sign up for the thing to use or what?

[Kalen]

WOW.  That's huge! 

You might want to talk to Josie on that one... she's a genius with cutting files down to size and such.

[Josietta]

Speedyshare says my file is too large to upload. It's 60mb and the free use only allows 30.  Did y'all sign up for the thing to use or what?

I use fileden. You have to sign up for it and i've not used anything that allows for larger uploads. It allows for 50mb I believe. This site allows for up 100mb uploads.

http://www.savefile.com/

I've never used it so I'm not sure how it would work with different types of files.

[Maeven]

Thanks for the help. I'll try that second site. 

What size were your files? Mine was only 5 mins or so.  Was a .wav file. 

[Josietta]

Thanks for the help. I'll try that second site. 

What size were your files? Mine was only 5 mins or so.  Was a .wav file. 

  Mine was 25mb.  You may need to convert it to an MP3 file. Wav files tend to be larger.

[Maeven]

Thanks so much! I converted it and it worked like a charm.

http://www.speedyshare.com/176643506.html

I got tired near the end, said Aunt a way I don't normally say it and totally stumbled on Melpomene. 

[Kalen]

Jeez, you are FAST!!!

You did really well, and have a deeper voice than I pictured for your face.  I still get a kick out of the difference in file sizes, from 60 mb to 5??

*applauds*  Well done.

[Josietta]

Thanks so much! I converted it and it worked like a charm.

http://www.speedyshare.com/176643506.html

I got tired near the end, said Aunt a way I don't normally say it and totally stumbled on Melpomene. 

Glad I could help :)    You have a very nice voice.

[Maeven]

Hah. Yeah, I got really sick of it around 3 minutes in and read as fast as I could. I'm surprised the dogs held out.  The first one I tried to record they started barking at about 45 seconds.

Yeah, I've never really been accused of having a high pitch.  

Glad I could help :)    You have a very nice voice.

Thanks!

[Kurzyk]

Great job Maeven! You have a very nice voice.

[OwenNo6]

Hmmm, recording my attempt at part of this may just give me something to do tomorrow...

*ponders*

[Dawg]

Thanks so much! I converted it and it worked like a charm.
http://www.speedyshare.com/176643506.html
I got tired near the end, said Aunt a way I don't normally say it and totally stumbled on Melpomene. 

Excellent Job Maeven, Sorry its taken a few days to get back to this - I missed it since it came in while I was out last weekend.

I agree that you were fast but I can here that Southern Florida twang in there.  Your enunciation was very good especially with the speed.

* Hugs for the courage to get it up *

[Paradox]

Looks like all of our recordings have been deleted from the host-site.

Lame.

[Ket]

-has a blonde moment-  I just freaked out thinking 'Greeeat...now I have to record it all over again!'  Then a fishy swam by and smacked me with it's tail and told me 'Silly girl, you still have the original file!'

[Paradox]

-has a blonde moment-  I just freaked out thinking 'Greeeat...now I have to record it all over again!'  Then a fishy swam by and smacked me with it's tail and told me 'Silly girl, you still have the original file!'

Lucky!

My hard-drive crashed since then, so mine is gone forever.

[Ket]

I still need to record the really long version. 

[Dawg]

Not all of them, only a select few are gone and they may have been deleted by the users and no the host site.

Looks like the Speedy Share ones so you are right, probably the host site.