Perverted Wishes

[Adammair]

Granted. She dreams about you killing the Lindbergh Baby. Murderer!!! ;D

I wish I could build a robot and put a copy of my consciousness into it, so I could send it to work for me (since I'm just a glorified robot, there, as it is).

[BrokenShards]

Granted, but the robot malfunctions and goes on a murderous rampage, forcing you to flee into hiding.

I wish I could get muster the energy to get out of bed.

[Adammair]

Granted. You muster the energy to get out of bed, but as soon as you're out of bed, it leaves you and you fall flat on the floor, unable to get up.

I wish I could build a robot for the sole purpose of going on a murderous rampage, and only I would know where it's on/off switch was.

[Kazuume]

Granted however, your finger is stuck to that secret button and it drags you all around with it scraping you up and bruising you horribly.  >:)


I wish for new fat badass tires for my car and a loud ass muffler system.

[Adammair]

Granted. However, the genie misheard you and instead gives you loud ass tires and a fat badass muffler system.

I wish for a new paintjob for my car to match the bumper (blindingly white, by the way).

[Kazuume]

Granted! But now your car glows in the dark and attracts every mosquito in the county.


I wish there was more candy on my desk.

[Flaming]

Granted but you can't eat them cause they are too sugarish

I wish I had weekends of three days

[Veluux]

Granted, but this makes your year 52 days longer, and you are still 20 years from retirement.

I wish I never had to work.

[Adammair]

Granted, but you become overweight and lazy from lack of physical exercise, and you lose that sculpted gladiatorial physique. ;D

I wish for a gladiator's physique.

[Veluux]

Granted. The gods gave you the one I neglected... but you are slain in an alley of Rome shortly after winning your Rhudus (sp?).

I wish I didn't have to think of another wish.

[Undeniable Sin]

Granted, but now you  get a magic lamp in the mail and can't think of what to ask for.

I wish I had a size 4 body. Not too little, not too big.

[Veluux]

Granted, except it's a corpse and stuffed in the back of your trunk by someone trying to frame you for murder.

I wish I had X-ray vision... (is it bad if I regretted my wish while I was typing it? Haha.)

[Flaming]

Granted, now you are able to see the bones of pretty ladies, but not their skin, so no more strip clubs for you

I wish I was a strip club owner

[Adammair]

Granted. You now own a strip mall. (Sorry, gotta clean the wax out of my ears. ;D )

I wish I knew how to fly an airplane.

[Undeniable Sin]

Granted. On your first solo flight, a bad storm hits, you crash and are now stranded on an island of murderous amazonian women.

I wish I didn't have fumble fingers today.

[Flaming]

Grunted, sticky fingers for you. The first thing you grab is glued to your hand.

I wish I were spiderman

[Captain Maltese]

You are spiderman. Ten seconds from now you will meet a REAL spiderwoman.

I wish I had a sailship.

[Sasquatch421]

You get a sailship, unfortunately you are then raided by the ATF and found to have stolen weapons on board.

I wish I would win the lottery.

[Flaming]

You do, now a lot of people bothers you for your money and you have no friends anymore

I wish there were no lotteries

[Rubicon]

Granted! Unfortunately, the different states that fund their educational programs with those lotteries elect not to replace that funding, causing schools all over the nation to eliminate most of their non-sports curriculum.

I wish everyone reading this had a really, really good week.

[Tsumi Okazaki]

Granted. The best week of their life will be just before they die.

I wish I could manipulate plants at will.

[Captain Maltese]

You can. Pity you live on the moon, without much water or earth.

I wish I could make people happy.

[Tsumi Okazaki]

Wish granted. However they are happy when you leave.

I wish i could manipulate gravity at will

[Flaming]

Granted, now you need to always keep concentration otherwise the world will fall apart. Don't go to sleep...

I wish I could ignore gravity

[Captain Maltese]

You are now tied to a very big helium balloon. Bye bye... gravity too.

I wish I could hit a target with eyes closed, and I don't mean after lining it up with my eyes open.