Corrupt a wish

[Despairs]

People worshiped and loved you so much, they began to think you were a goddess. Sadly not everyone liked you, your enemies, kidnapped you while you were asleep and chained you to a a large black ball and drowned you. I wish I wasn't the reaper of souls and that people would stop making skeleton jokes.

[Miscellany]

Your wish is granted.  However ; now that you are no longer the reaper of souls your existence is futile.  Therefore, you dissipate into a cloud of ashes, dispersed to the wind.  Now, there certainly won't be skeleton jokes , for you cease to exist. 

I wish,  for a time machine.

[Mnemosyne]

Granted! You have a time machine. To get it to work though you have to have at least ten people willingly dancing the time warp inside of it and singing the song loudly.

I wish I knew where to find more lovely pictures for references here on elliquiy.

[TheWhiteEmperor]

Granted, you find a treasure trove of the greatest art for all the references you could ever want. However, you become absorbed in their wonder and greatness, only to never be heard from on Elliquiy again.

I wish I could freeze time to do the things that I have to do but, don't want to do because it cuts into my time to do the things that matter to me.

[SmuttyReader]

Granted, you can freeze time and it won't interfere with your days, but you have to run 12 miles before you can start time again.

I wish I could see something on tv that I like and it magically appear beside me.

[Mnemosyne]

Granted! Time is frozen. For twenty years. For twenty years you live within the same frozen second in time, alone. Before it will start again and you will be able to get on with your life. Will the things that once mattered to you matter anymore then?


Granted. You are granted the received of one item or one person you view on television. Once you see it and it appears beside you however, it turns into a deadly device that kills you almost instantly.

I wish that there were more reasons to smile.

[Stone]

Granted. But because everyone smiles now, smiling has become everyone's resting face. Everyone's Joker.

I wish health and prosperity to all of mankind, sans corruption of any sort.  O8)

[SmuttyReader]

Granted, but now that's everyone is healthy and prosperited. No one dies and there are not enough jobs for everyone.

I wish I could find a really good book. (Any suggestions are appreciated)

[Miscellany]

Granted.  However, the book worth reading was one that you wrote yourself,  and now - that you are a famous writer,  traveling and attending events associated with your good book ?   You no longer have time to read for pleasure.

I wish,  that I could play an instrument.

[Asphodel Terrarium]

Granted, you learn how to play the drums, but then it became useless as people refused you in their bands. Drums can only be useful to further beautify the music aesthetics, serving as rhythm but as a standalone, it's not really that great.

I wish I could defeat Superman, lock him in a coffin with a kryptonite knife still stabbed to his chest. That way, he cannot ressurect. Also, the grave is just with a generic name, Mark. No one has to know where he's buried to save him.

[Mnemosyne]

This wish is granted, because I hate Superman. No one ever saves him, but they do know that you were the one who put him there. So they are after you. Watch out.

I wish that people did not change things that were already good into things that are completely shit.

[RampantDesires]

Granted! People now skip making good things entirely and go straight to the complete crap stage.  Up side? At least you KNOW you'll be constantly disappointed?

I wish that I had more book shelves/space to put all my books :-(

[Miscellany]

Granted.  Now that you have shelf space for all of your books ;  there's no place left to sit and get comfy to read all of your tomes.

I wish,   that I could get a really good night of sleep.

[dblkrose]

Granted but the sun never sets where ever you are at.

I wish I could always win when I gamble.

[whimsy]

Granted, but now the gambling establishments suspect you of cheating them, and have called the authorities, and now you're in jail. Whoops.

I wish I had the ability to always give the perfect gift, every time.

[dblkrose]

Granted, but each gift you give is stolen, the authorities are called and you end up in jail with me.

I wish I could always tell when people are lying. 

[whimsy]

granted, but now people just think you have weird cyborg eyes that detect lies, and pull you out of jail to use you for scientific experiements

i wish i could tame unicorns

[RampantDesires]

You do indeed have the ability to tame unicorns whimsy. Sadly the last of them were lost into the ocean years ago and you will never be able to use your gift :-(

I wish my chair were more comfortable.

[whimsy]

granted, but now it's so incredibly comfortable that you never want to leave EVER and so you just live in your chair and you never get up (not even to get food or go to the bathroom) and you die within a week WHOOPS

i wish i could sing well (and not just in the shower)

[Mnemosyne]

Granted. Magically you can sing well, however singing is now found offensive all over the world. People think that by singing and slowing down the rate at which you pronounce words you are trying to imply that they cannot understand you when you speak normally. Why must you mock them so?

I wish that I could remember more music that I loved.

[dblkrose]

Granted but you can no longer hear anything new.

I wish I knew exactly how to please any women.

[Mnemosyne]

Granted. You know how to please any woman. They don't want you to stop however, so you are now the slave of women across the world until you die. Perhaps it is not the worst of ways to go?

I wish that the sky was purple with black clouds.

[dblkrose]

Granted but you now find yourself living in a cartoon world.

I wish I could make a cartoon character real...

[SpiralEye]

Granted!  Now you're stuck having to deal with Eric Cartman.

I wish I could live my life operating under cartoon physics, like in Looney Toons.

[whimsy]

granted, but now you have to watch out for things like falling pianos and tunnels that are actually paintings that only look like tunnels.

i wish i could communicate with animals