Need some help with Spanish phrases.

[NileGoddess]

I'm working on a fan fiction, and I have a character who frequently lets some of her Hispanic heritage slip out, especially in heated, stressful situations. I saw that other people were requesting language help, so I thought I'd do the same.

At the moment, I need two phrases translated into Spanish for me:

1) "I'll cut your balls off!"

2) "I'm here for you." (As in trying to comfort someone)

[lollipop]

The translator thingy I use (not sure on accuracy) says:

For Phrase 1: ¡Cortaré sus bolas!

For Phrase 2: Estoy aquí para usted.

[Geraint]

The translator thingy I use (not sure on accuracy) says:

For Phrase 1: ¡Cortaré sus bolas!

For Phrase 2: Estoy aquí para usted.

It's been a while since high school Spanish, :o  so I may be way off, but I think I'd be more inclined to modify the translator version a bit to:

¡Cortaré sus cojones! 

and

Soy aquí para tú. 
(assuming that the person is here in the emotional sense of being, as opposed to the location, and is on familiar speaking terms with the person to whom the offer is bieng made.)

[jouzinka]

Maybe PM Marguerite, I believe she's a native... ;)

From my limited knowledge:

Estoy aquí para usted. - I am here for you, Sir/Madame/my Lord/my Lady - addressing someone of higher stance than you and you are at the same time acknowledging your inferior stance. Using usted is a very polite and formal way of addressing someone. If it's a close friend, then it's "Estoy aquí por tí."

Likewise: ¡Cortaré sus bolas! and ¡Cortaré sus cojones! is again, addressing Sir/Madame/my Lord/my Lady. Since it's supposed to be a swear or threat, I'd use tus bolas or tus cojones.

Soy aquí para tu. Spanish has two verbs for "to be" - ser and estar. Ser is used in relation to things that cannot be changed, whereas estar is used for the opposite.

Estoy aquí - I am here, as in right now in this place, but in the next minute I can be outside. Estoy sitiendo - I'm sitting, but I can stand up.
Soy Checa - yes, I'm Czech and that's not changing, ever. Soy una mujer - I'm a woman, again something that's not changing in a hurry (sure, modern medicine miracle and all that, but for grammatical purposes it's not changeable).

Soooo... facing a dilemma of "I am here for you," I think I'd rather use something I'd be more comfortable coming up with.

"¡Déjame ayudárte!" - Let me help you! possibly accompanied with Habla (conmigo) - Talk (to me) or more direct ¡Dime! - Tell me!
Other soothing line could be "No te preocupes." - Don't trouble yourself.

[Vandren]

It's been a while since high school Spanish, :o  so I may be way off, but I think I'd be more inclined to modify the translator version a bit to:

¡Cortaré sus cojones! 

This would be better.  Bolas = balls in general (soccer, basketball, cue balls); cojones, on the other hand, specifically refers to the male reproductive organs.

[NileGoddess]

Great everyone, thank you for the help! So in summary, the best choices would be:

1) ¡Cortaré tus cojones!

2) Estoy aquí por tí

Since they are more informal, and for number 2, the two people are indeed good friends and colleagues.

[Star Safyre]

My two semesters of college Spanish and a childhood spent in Southern California concur!

[artemis4]

You have this solved alredy but I just wanted to add one minor thing as a native spanish speaker in the phrase "I am here for you" I would say "Estoy aquí para tí"instead of "Estoy aquí por tí" as this translates more closely to something like "I am here because of you"

The used of the preposition por and para wildy varies as they both can be translate in english as for, and depending on context por can be translate as because, near of, through and proably a couple of others that i am missing right now.

[CandyLips]

For native Spanish speakers, or at least Puerto Ricans, the slang for "balls" actually translates to "eggs," which is "huevos"

Just wanted to chime in.

[Oniya]

Sounds like that could be regional differences - which would be very important if the character is from a specific place.  I know that Mexican Spanish differs significantly from Continental Spanish, much the same way that Quebecois differs from Continental French.

[Izzie Aditi]

For native Spanish speakers, or at least Puerto Ricans, the slang for "balls" actually translates to "eggs," which is "huevos"

Just wanted to chime in.

Somewhat unrelated and random, but was anyone else reminded of

Huevos Splash..

Huevos Pablo Francisco

?

* Izzie Aditi grins and runs off.