A Random Review of Life

[desert ashes]

A Random Review of Life

Tiger Woods' Return to Golf   
3 / 5 stars

Who can forget the night the media frenzy surrounding Tiger Woods' personal life began?  It's the same night the greatest athlete known to golf (considering how much he changed the game) destroyed what was perceived as a creditable public image and began a snowball effect only a cynic or psychic could have foreseen.  No one was really surprised when he announced a leave of absence -- and possible retirement -- from golf, though returning so soon (just a few months after rededicating his lifestyle to a more Buddhist approach) for the Masters was a little unpredicted.  However, smart move by Tiger! 

The Masters Tournament is most 'polite' golf tournament of all, the perfect setting for Tiger to return without interruption or distractions not of his own making.  In addition, that was one of the best tournaments I've seen in a while as those in the top four (Mickelson, Westwood, Kim, Woods and Choi) were in contention to the bitter end; Tiger himself had three eagles, two in one round.  As an athlete he made a good return and reminded us greatly of the Tiger post-truth revealed.  I'm simply sad to say his stance on being more controlled (less swearing, less self criticizing, throwing his club) lasted only a few holes. 

While I can't say I like all of Tiger, it's good to see him return to his home turf and do so with a good show... even if it was a quick leave of absence. 


Spring Allergies
1 / 5 stars

Originally this scored zero out of five stars, entirely understandably considering nothing good should come from allergies.  Stuffy, red nose; swollen, teary eyes; constant sneezing and giving the pharmacist the death stare when he doesn't have anymore Claritin are certainly not on the 'pro' list of allergy.  In fact, the only 'pro' item of allergies is being able to commiserate with the parents of students attending the nearby pricy, private, ivy league college. 

Yes, I know you make at least ten or twenty times my salary (not to mention what I make would barely cover half a year at the college), but at least you can't escape nature. 



Telf, Folf, and Tiki Torch Lawn Tractor Bounty Hunter
5 / 5 stars

Ah!  Spring!  Nothing makes me happier than to see nature coming back to life around me, and, more importantly, the disappearance of snow.  (Snow isn't as great as everyone thinks.  You do know the center of snow is dirt, right?  See, not so pure.)  Spring also means the return of some sports inspired games my neighbor and I can't resist.  We also have the advantage of playing on his homemade golf course -- twelve holes, all of which are par three or four and involve chipping and putting, but still very fun!

Telf: a combination of tennis and golf.  This is played with a tennis racket and ball and on a golf course.    The object, of course, is to get the ball to the hole.  After a very frustrating hole that lays right on top of a small shelf within a hill, we added in the rule that on your third shot you can opt to throw the ball.  Caution!  Tennis balls bounce... a lot.  (To state the obvious.)  You can try using that bounce to your advantage with your drive/serve, adding in some 'bounce' distance.  I really wasn't sure what to expect when we thought this game up, but in addition to getting a decent work out in my right arm, the unpredictability of the tennis ball adds in notes of hilarity and groaning humor. 

Folf: a combination of Frisbee and golf.  Frisbee golf!  How much fun!  I really need to get some work on throwing a Frisbee as my hook here is far worse than my golf hook!  The Frisbee also seems to have an affinity for curving wherever my playmate(s) happen to be... even if it's directly behind me.  As a note, have each person use a different colored Frisbee -- makes it easier in telling who's who and adds a nice color palette over the golf course. 

Tiki Torch Lawn Tractor Bounty Hunter: put together two tiki torches, one lawn tractor (no plow!), some alcohol, a handful of squishy balls, and two or more playmates.  Take the tiki torches and put them, unlit, twice the width apart of the lawn tractor as your starting/ending point.  The object: catch the Runner! 

The Bounty Hunter starts in the tractor between the torches and gives the Runner ten seconds to begin hiding/running.  (Having random objects to hide behind/run around is a bonus -- the shed, trees, cars in the driveway, grape arbors, swing set, et cetera.)  Every time the Runner goes by the Tiki Torches they must either extinguish or light them; the Bounty Hunter can do so at their whim. 

The Runner wins by either tagging the Bounty Hunter from behind (while they're on the tractor) or lighting the torch ten times before being caught by the Bounty Hunter.  The Bounty Hunter wins by successfully hitting the Runner three times with a squishy ball. 

Alternatively, if your yard is big enough, you can set up a race course and see how fast you can get your lawn tractor to boogie! 



"It Could Happen."
- Chad Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke reveal they're a couple. 
- Another network picks up Ugly Betty for a fall return. 
- New England gets walloped with one last snow storm.