People who love their cars too much

[HairyHeretic]

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/09/car_lovers/

Gotta love El Reg  ;D

Man claims to have made love to over 30 cars

Website shows how to really pop the trunk

By Joe Fay → More by this author
Published Friday 9th March 2007 13:49 GMT
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A British man has confessed to making love to over 30 different cars and setting up a website to explain his techniques to the masses.

It was British tabloid The Sun which today lifted the bonnet on people who love cars – a little too much.

It quoted the story of Chris, apparently a 38 year old from the West Country, who claims to have made the beast with two boots with everything from a Peugeot 205 to his current squeeze, a Jag XK8. Donald is not afraid of exploring the boundaries of his sexuality. He’s also had brief flings with two motorboats and a jetski.

Donald tells the paper that a nice car was a “feast for the sense…smells, feelings, and tastes.”

Not only does he like a bit of quick fit action, he also runs a website devoted to his auto erotic pastime, and claims to be in touch with about 500 other crankshaft fanatics.

Chris’s site appears to be here. We hope he’s got extra bandwidth lined up, as no doubt it will soon be overloaded with other vehicle lovers hoping to stage the ultimate car key party.

A quick cruise of the web uncovers extensive evidence of this major contributor to global warming. Here on YouTube a woman pleasures an automobile, while here fans discuss strategies to ease the pain of tailpipe action.

Being asked if you want a good hand wax and polish will never be the same.

[Elvi]

Now that IS a true pansexual

[HairyHeretic]

I don't recall him confessing a love for pans, only cars :)

[Elvi]

*holds head in hands and sighs*

[HairyHeretic]

*chuckles*

I've come across stranger. I recall a story in one of the Fortean Times books about a guy with an *ahem* love of pavements. And bin liners.

[Swedish Steel]

Hehe, gives a new meaning to autoerotic.

[Elvi]

Oh don't you just love Fortean Times?
(In a none sexual way I mean)

[HairyHeretic]

Very much so. I have the Books of Strange Deaths, More Strange Deaths, Weird Sex, Bizarre Behaviour, Inept Crime (and one or two others hiding on me).

Some of the stories have left me in tears of laughter.

[Elvi]

We used to get the magazine, perfect 'toilet' reading, for some reason we have stopped...must get Strangely back into picking it up again.....

[CaptainErotica]

 I love my Nissan Skyline, but this is a bit much. Hmm. i ownder if he gets better gas milage.

  *Runs out to his car*
   
   "you know baby you look really good in those tires"*Stokes her hood*"How bout i give you an ice lube job later."    ;D ;D ;D

[HairyHeretic]

I'd be more concerned if his activity voided the service warranties  ;)

[CaptainErotica]

 Or if he got reported for sexual assault.

"Mr Goodyear you are charged with sexually assualting your Winabego..How do you plee?"

[HairyHeretic]

Since the vehicle is unlikely to press charges, I think its more liklely going to be a public prosecution for 'outraging public deceny' or whatever the appropriate charge is.

[Swedish Steel]

It's criminal to be decent now days? Woho, gonna start being outrageously indecent.

[CaptainErotica]

  Indecent exposure. No one wants to see what your Yugo has under her hood sir.

[Elvi]

Now I am sure that he does it in the privacy of his own garage, or in the case of a group orgy, a multi story car park.....

[Swedish Steel]

Yeah, he might be running from car to car with his pants around his ancles.

[CaptainErotica]

   Why am I suddenly picturing an XXX rated version of CARS.

[Swedish Steel]

Because you're a perv?

[HairyHeretic]

Good explanation

[CaptainErotica]

 I never said I'd play in it. But your right I am such a perv.

[Celestial Goblin]

Some people are in hardcore S&M relationship with their cars.
http://www.cabvision.com/images/IBM/fawltyCar.jpg

[HairyHeretic]

There's no one can rant quite like John Clease  :)

[Elvi]

Now THAT Celestial, is what makes British Comedy some of the best in the world.
I must have seen that clip thousands of times and I still cannot help but laugh.

[Swedish Steel]

Now THAT Celestial, is what makes British Comedy some of the best in the world.
I must have seen that clip thousands of times and I still cannot help but laugh.

Scratch that. British comedy is THE best in the world, nothing comes close.