Ok, so I only do blogs when I really would like to talk about something, but don't really want to post it on the forums for one reason or another. This one, I am still contemplating posting just for the input of other submissive type people.
Now, if one were to look at ons and offs on Elliquiy one could easily assume that there are a billion people out in the world who live as a Dominant or a submissive. However, there are not that many true D or s' out there, by true I mean those who live it as a lifestyle rather then just as a sexual kink. Nothing wrong with bdsm as a sexual kink, as it's one of the kinks that get me going as well, though I do live the lifestyle in every aspect of my life.
My question is why is there the need to submit? Why is there the need to please and serve for some of us, while others do not have these urges seemingly?
I am often amused that reading a dominant person's on's say they are a pleaser, and a submissive's on's say the same. Not because I disagree, I think that is the core of both mindsets, to please their partner. People who do not live the lifestyle, or do not not play with the kink of the bdsm, often see things from the outside looking in. They see the dominant getting pleasure from the submissive, and often confuse this as selfishness on the Dominant's part.
I beg to differ. Dominants tend to work at pleasing their partners, just as much as a submissive works at pleasing their Masters. It is a very fine line to walk, particularly as a Dominant to a extremely submissive person. One has to be able to read body language when one is with a person who has real trouble telling people no. If your with this type, then you never know if your doing something they doing something that the submissive really doesn't like but isn't something they are so horrified about that they are willing to stand up and say stop. Now, this of course is really just for those extremely submissive people like myself, who really dislike telling people no or stop.
As far as from a submissive point of view, for me, I think it is different for everyone. Due to life experiance, as well as my upbringing, my need for a Master stems from my need to be protected and cared for. It stems from my need to take care of someone else's needs, to be needed. I think, in the end, there is not that much difference between Dominant and submissive, just a different means to the goal.