Quite a few conversations happen on Elliquiy that are often times quite blunt, forward, and with little censorship. In fact, the only censorship that occurs is the separate Lords and Ladies sections, simply because some issues are often times easier to ask, to discuss, and just generally be tossed around when one is assured that it is only those of the same gender can see. However, much of these communications deal with things that I would think one would be able to be open about with one's Significant Other, or SO. Yet, at times people have stated they were not comfortable discussing this or that with their SO.
To be honest that surprises me, simply because the subject matter on Elliquiy seems to be something that would very much be discussed with even a sexual partner, even more so with a long-term partner. I cannot understand why, or how it happens, that people are committed to others but do not feel safe? Comfortable? With them to discuss "Hey, I like to be spanked. I want to be put into a pillory and teased and tormented until I beg..". I understand that not all relationships work the same as my own, but I do not understand not being able to discuss kinks and fetishes with someone.
Using my own life for example. When I married my husband I was fairly inexperienced in the world of Kink. I mean, I knew in the back of my mind that some liked spanking, and I knew in the back of my mind that some were into Master/pet relationships but I never really associated it with anyone I knew, or even thought about it myself.
I was coming off of a bad relationship, a relationship that left me with a daughter and quite a few fears and quirks that I am still dealing with to this day. Husband understood, and open about his various fetishes and what not, but never pushed me. He discussed with me, over years not just months, the reasons why he enjoyed what he did. Most importantly he built my trust in him, and never once made me feel obligated to at least try it.
However, I do think this is mostly due to my nature to please; I did manage to work up enough courage to try a few things. First handcuffs simple and elegant. Then a blindfold, and it evolved in that fashion. When I first joined Elliquiy my Husband and I were still practicing BDSM and a Master/submissive life only in the bedroom. Our relationship is still evolving, now we practice a full bdsm lifestyle. We no longer turn the switch off when we leave the bedroom (rare occasional visit there le tme tell you, three kidlets are a great form of birth control).
I am the happiest I have been in a very long time, and we would not have reached this place if we did not have the open communication that we do. We discuss what I do on Elliquiy; we discuss what he does in his forums. We discuss his online submissive lady-friend, and he has even gotten me in an IM chat with her, she is quite friendly and nice. We just.... discuss.
So I can not imagine feeling like I had to hide what I do on Elliquiy, I can not imagine not being able to tell my SO something does it for me. I intellectually know why some are not so open or comfortable. Yet I cannot wrap my mind around it.